My sons weight problem, I need advice and someone to talk to..

[goodtimesarecoming]

My Ds1 is 11, nearly 12. When he was about 9 he started to put weight on and in a period of 18 months went from slim to obese.
I have always cooked healthy meals, and he does a lot of physical activity, straight out after school on his skateboard until it gets dark, spends all day Saturday skating too.
We are quite an active family, go on walks etc, but its really getting me down and I lie awake at night worrying, going between feeling sad and angry, hopeless etc.

I took him to the doctors a while ago to ask his opinion, Ds hasn't changed in height since he was 9, was 4'8" then and still is nearly three years later. Doc said not to worry, which made me feel better for a while.

I feel so guilty, i can control what he eats here, but I know with his friends he wants to eat what the rest of them do, and I don't want to give him a complex about food.
What can I do. He weights 7 stones 12 and I keep having the obese letters from school.
I also struggle with my feelings, I can't look at his massive stomach, and feel like the worst mum for not loving him "warts and all"

This is a bit rambly, I just need advice or support

I'd see another GP and ask for a second opinion. It's not really normal for a child of that age to not grow in height AT ALL for 3 years. And maybe a referral to a paediatric dietitian may be helpful.

If he hasn't grown for 3 years, he might just shoot up! Does he drink fizzy drinks?

The occasional fizzy drink, but a bottle is a rare treat in this house! He drinks mainly water and a glass of milk in the evening.
I will try the doctors again then.

Do the child measurement programme people who write to you give you any information about local support or services? They might be better suited than the GP. There are quite often after school clubs or similar for kids struggling with their weight. He may just have a growth spurt and stretch out soon you never know, at least you are concerned and trying to do what's best for him. :)

What size portions do you give him? Does he spend pocketmoney on loads of stuff you wouldn't feed him?

There could be a medical reason (thyroid I know is one) but there is a situation where a child is overfed-it can be of perfectly nutricious food, but has too much. This basically causes them to grow early, and they look reasonably proportioned, but tall. Then they hit a point where they stop growing upwards and, if they continue eating the same amount become overweight quickly.

If you're getting obese letters from school, then ask to speak to the school nurse. She can refer him on I think. I would get it sorted sooner rather than later.

I try to do smaller portions, but then he's in the kitchen trying to get more. He can out eat any adult I know, but I do try and stop him.
I think he does eat when he is out with friends, I don't know what more I can do, he knows about what he should be eating, but doesn't have much self control.
I am hoping he will shoot up, his dad is 6'3, I am 5'7, so he should be quite tall hopefully. His Dad says he was the same and then went all tall and skinny, so maybe the same will happen.