Tantrums at 1 ?! Is this what it is and how do I deal with it?

[reastie]

Not sure this is quite children's health...not sure where else to put it though

DD is 13 months. She's recently been unwell for nearly 2 weeks. Suspected reaction to all her one year injections and involved lots of yucky sick and general illness.

Since DD has been improving the past few days she has suddenly developed an attitude . If I don't give her all of my full attention ALL THE TIME and do exactly what she wants even if I have no idea what that is the throws herself to the floor and screams blue murder either until I distract her with something or she pulls herself out of it. She won't let me hold her or do anything, just rolls around screaming.

I'm not sure if this is a new phase or that she is dying or boredom at home alone with me after 2 weeks of it (we've been out a bit but not anything exciting for her) or that she has got so used to having my attention and care all the time when she was ill she doesn't want to go back to god forbid the likes of letting me go to the loo or look in the wrong direction . DD is in general really placid and this is quite a shock. She has also been very difficult with napping too (she was bad before!) and was having 6 or so bfs a day when ill and is still insisting on at least 4 a day in addition to her usual meals and snacks (she was on one in the morning and one at night) which I'm finding physically very draining and will have t cut out soon as I'll be back to work.

So, is this a tantrum and how should I deal with it? At the minute I've been trying my best to look like I'm all calm and relaxed and just ignore her as much as possible and try to encourage her to look at something to distract her and then when I do give her lots of praise. FIrst timer here in a bit of shock at dealing with this!

Yes this is definitely tantrums and it sounds like your diagnosis about why it is happening is correct. It's not that unusual for tantrums to start this early (I remember being shocked that the "terrible twos" were starting a year early but most of my acquaintances experienced similar)

I think you are mainly dealing with it right too. My only advice would be not to do too much "coaxing" - you don't want to make her think bad behaviour will be rewarded with lots of attention.

When my DS (now 2.8ish) has a tantrum I sit with my back to him, and get one of his favourite books and start looking at it (not reading it aloud) and making noises like "ooooh" and "wow" as if I'm really intrigued. No, it doesn't always work, but sometimes does.

Also, if she shows the slightest bit of good behaviour give her lots of praise and attention for it, however trivial ("wow! well done, you got your book all by yourself!!!) so she knows she doesn't have to behave badly in order to get your attention.

opps, just read back it should say dying oF boredom not or

Thanks xkc - cripes, can't believe this is starting a year earlier than I expected. Today has been exhausting - we've had about 6 hissy fits already. I tried the ignoring thing and it just sent her more mad

I think that it does sound like a tantrum. My DD is 12 months and has started screaming if she is irritated by her brother. If he (4.9) is to in her face she will slap him away! The adoration she had for him has diminished within the last fees weeks. She is asserting her individuality. I think it is totally normal as DS was doing the same about 15 months!

I think you can just distract at this age as they are too young for anything else. Perhaps you can also demonstrate how to behave. If she chucks a toy in tantrum, pick it up and play with it nicely and say, 'nicely, look this is what we do with this DD'.

good idea golden . I was reading the mn toddler book at the week end but tbh alot of the advice on tantrums was more for older toddlers who understand a bit more not a 1 year old. Our current issue is she hurtles herself around her cot bashing her head everywhere when she wakes up at night until dh or I pick her up and soothe her. We've tried leaving her/sitting with her next to cot/cc but she is very determined so we have given in to her not knowing what else to do wonder where she gets he stubbornness from