Please help me I think I'm going mad with worry

[twolittlekings]

My ds is 31 months and is tiny. He is 87 cms. He falls over quite a bit especially when running. His nursery and 2 docs I have seen say he is fine and normal. But I read an article about ataxia that I just can't get out of my mind. I have been obsessed about it despite both drs saying they think he is fine. I'm always watching him now to see if he falls over. Dh beginning to think I'm going mad and I don't know what to do but I'm getting very down about it. How often is normal for falling over and am I worrying unnecessarily. Some forms of Ataxia are degenerative and there's one called A-T that starts off with mild symptoms and progresses. I keep thinking DS fits some of the criteria in so far that he walked late (17 months) but seems better now but did fall over a lot. I just thought he was a late developer. Am I going mad? I keep feeling anxious because I have read that drs are not that familiar with ataxia. What should I do?

Have you looked for specific support groups on google? Might be too small an audience on mumsnet.

Could you get a referral to a paediatrician? Would that put your mind at rest?

Is 17 months very late for walking? Mine were 15 months and definitely not the latest of all the kids I know.

I know how awful feeling anxious is, try not to let it take over. (Difficult advice to follow, admittedly!)

twolittlekings - i think you should listen to your doctors, afaik ataxia would present as a very specific and wobbly gait. Doctors would be very familiar with it as well and would probalby recognise it. (sorry but i am basing this on ataxia in dogs and what you say just doesn't ring true, ataxia is usually more pronounced at a slower pace so for you to say that he is falling when running doesn't sound like ataxia to me).

Maybe a peadiatrician referral would put your mind at rest (i had awful worries about DD losing skills at similar age and seeing the peadiatrician reassured me that she was a normal little girl). My DD didn't walk until she was nearly 2, i wasn;t worried about this at all actually.

Are you usually anxious? I ask because i suffer from anxiety and i know how I can convince myself that something is wrong and just obsess over it. Maybe talk to your HV about your concerns?

Has he had his reflexes checked? Could he have hypotonia?

I think it's very unlikely that you have anything to worry about. Children all develop at different rates and 17 months is not particularly late to walk. It is reassuring that the nursery don't have any concerns as they have the experience of children of this age and are often the ones to pick things up. My ds's 2 & 3 were quite dinky and I doubt they were more than 87cm at 2.6 yrs although I was not a great one for weighing or measuring.

That said, you are worried. I think you should see your GP and discuss your specific concerns and hopefully they will be able to put your mind at rest.

dont google. best advice I ever had (my older kids were born before the internet)

I agree with kalskirata - google is not your friend!

I think the average for three is 94 cm so he isn't all that tiny btw.

Thanks for all your replies. Yes I am a worrier and particularly anxious at the moment - lots of worries and things to deal with. My mum died last year after a long illness and Dad about to move in to our family home (I'm the only child) so lots of anxieties. I am a bit obsessive but never to this extent and DH says I am making myself ill. I suppose my life feels quite fragile at the moment and the thought of losing anything else makes me feel sick inside:(

A referral (to a paediatrician) might help the anxiety - DS says I should be the one being referred. Perhaps he's right! It's just that my older DS was so much bigger and sturdier at the same age. I was really hot on measuring but with the youngest DS I have just gone with the flow and now I am panicking that I've missed something. We used to laugh that he'd fallen over again but now I'm wondering if I have missed something. Damn the papers - Daily mail online actually. I read a heartbreaking story about a girl with Ataxia telangiectaisa who was "normal" except for being a bit wobbly and a late walker but has this awful disease that's terminal. Of course then proceeded to spend hours looking for signs and symptoms and that's probably why I'm now in a right pickle.

Oh honey - you know, in the kindest possible way, i agree with your DH. I've been there and its horrible, the worry grinds you down. I lost my darling dad when DD was 8 weeks old and the grief pretty much manifested itself as my paranoia over my own health and my DD's. I really don't think there is any harm in talking to your doctor about your feelings, it maybe that a short course of counselling would help you rationalise your thoughts.

Please try and avoid all the true life stories, they are a hiding to nothing and will have you worrying over the slightest thing.

Don't let your anxiety spoil what should be a lovely time for you, talk to your doctor, get back on track and enjoy being a mummy.

It is perfectly natural to worry as a parent, but i think you are looking for things that are not there.

Google = bad, seriously, if you google your cold symptoms you could be forgiven for thinking you have beubonic plague!

So, he's 2 1/2 and falls when running? That, in it's own right, is normal.
Lots of skinned knees and bruised shins are a sign of a happy, active child and part of exploring the world. And 17 months is not particularly late for walking.

I really don't want to sound unkind, but reading your posts, I do agree with your DH: what your describing here does not sound worrying as far as your DS goes, but your own anxiety levels seem really quite high which must be just exhausting.
Part of life is to find a way to live with uncertainty and that can be heard. Of course none of us here can say with any kind of certainty whether or not your DS will be fine; nobody can. Not even specialists who also don't have a crystal ball. Sadly, neurodegenerative disorders are often don't detectable with tests and simply have to declare themselves with time.

My advice would be be to see your GP, hopefully a dr you like and trust, discuss your concerns frankly and in full. Do get DS referred to see a paediatrician and then accept their reassurance (I presume they will be able to reassure you). THEN address your own anxiety issues and how you are dealing with the loss of your mother, your father moving in etc - these are huge lifechanges and you might just be focussing how unsettling you are finding things on to your DS.
I really hope (and think) that he is alright and will soon stop falling as much.
FWIW, my DS4 has just turned 2, does not walk as he only runs and falls all the bloody time - I can hardly keep up with buying new trousers as the knees are always torn through.

Has he had his eyes tested? My DD falls over a lot because she is longsighted...

Thanks everyone. I must admit I think I am just very anxious at the moment. I do also think that a referral for DS might make me feel better - yes if a specialist tells me he thinks DS is fine I WILL believe him! Of course what manifests itself in later life I have no control over but at least I'll be able to stop worrying about it for now. DH (who disagrees with me anyway) even says if he has it he has it and what can we do about it anyway so let's not worry and see what happens but I'm not like that. It's silly really as both my GPs that I have seen (in the space of 4 days - oh dear I sound like a mad woman) I like and trust. The second one I saw actually mentioned my anxiety levels and suggested talking to someone but of course I got cross because I wanted to make sure she took me seriously about DS - which is why I suppose I have subconsciously discounted her opinion as I think she thinks I'm a bit loopy. I'm also worried that if I do go for counselling ity will only open up a can of worms that will make me feel worse in the long run.

Goawaybob - I'm sorry for your loss. Grief can come out in many ways and what you say rings true. I suppose I have been obsessive about other health issues but only for a short while and I am wondering why I am SO obsessed this time.

Thanks again all - I am very grateful to you as it's made me feel better and not so alone!

Has he been checked for hypermobility? Ds has this and is still fairly wobbly, falls over a lot and he's nearly three. Could just be something as simple as that.

I also agree that you shouldn't google. I suffer from anxiety about health and have to force myself not to because it's never good news. A little knowledge can be a dangerous thing.

Because he is your little boy and it is only natural. As i say, i got my DD checked out by a peadiatrician because she seemed to lose some speech at about 2. My HV was confident that there was no problem but put the ball in my court as to whether i wanted the appointment. HAving the peadiatrician tell me that there was nothing to worry about stopped that worry in its tracks, so i would actually ask for a referral for your DS actually. There are lots of pretty innocuous reasons for toddlers to be falling over alot, one of them, as i am sure you know is being a normal toddler (the clue's in the name - toddle!) :) But it will do no harm whatsoever to get it checked out, if it gives you peace of mind. My HV was aware of my anxiety issues ( i was on medication) but still took my concerns seriously, even though she knew there was nothing wrong iyswim.

Goawaybob - thank you :)

I suffer from anxiety, health anxiety in particular and I can understand where you're coming from. FWIW, DS1 walked at 21mo and as he was already in the 'system' all sorts of scary stuff was mentioned and tested for. It turns out he has balance loss (vestibular hypofunction) that's probably connected to hearing loss, which he also suffers. So it's not nothing but it's nothing awful. And he will compensate more and more as time goes by.

Hi all, just a little update. I have managed through my husband's work - he does not get paid a lot but he is given BUPA as a company perk for which I'm soooo grateful - to get an appointment with a Paediatric Neuro consultant tonight. I'm nervous but glad that hopefully soon I will be clearer on things. I've googled her and she's also the lead neuro consultant at the Chelsea and westminster paedoatric dept so I figure if she says he is OK then he is!

Thanks all for your support

Thats good news, lets hope she can put your mind at rest. At least you don't have to wait too long. They can do all maner of neurological tests, very quickly which will rule loads of stuff out. Let us know how you get on, we are all here to hold your hand no matter what, but i suspect everything will be fine x

I think you sound anxious...I have anxiety and sometimes get fixated on things...I know how hard it is to get off the worry pony once you're on it!What has helped me is physical excersise....I was ery sedantry before but since I began cycling the DC to school 2 miles each way, we have all felt so much better and my worries have aleiviated.

I am sure your DS is fine....obviously you will feel able to let this go one you've seen a doctor but wath that something else doesn't come along and grab you....increase excersise...I can't begin to tell you how it has helped me with my anxiety.

yes i defeinately second the exercise recommendation, i feel much better for cycling, my bottom on the other hand, is not happy with me!

What's wrong with your bottom? Maybe you need some of the padded cycling shorts! I can't tell people enough how much biking has helped me....I feel about 10 again when I'm whizzing downhill!

We got a bunch of parents and kids together and we ride as a group because t's 2 miles...it's really helped me so much. I am planning for us to cycle as a family at the weekends too....my older DD (7) has gained confidence too...just being active is such a simple thing...(I am naturally lazy by the way) it is a wonderful help to me.

Yes I am a worrier but normally I am never this bad, which make me worry even more that there's a genuine reason for it. I am hoping that it will all be fine. I have not eaten for 2 days and every time I try to, I feel sick. Yes exercise would be good - I need to re-organise my life and find some time for me. There is so much going on and I work full time as well. I wish I did not worry as much as I do and once this is hopefully over I'm going to see if I can get some counselling advice.