Children and bad teeth: bad mum?

[bennib]

How do you feel about yourself when you take your children to the dentist and they need work done on their teeth? fillings etc. my children brush their teeth everyday but I still feel embarrassed and like a bad mum when I take them to the dentist and they have cavities etc. Does anyone else agree? I just want my kids to have strong and healthy teeth!

You are a good mother for taking your children to the dentist and for ensuring they brush their teeth.

I know, and i know im not really a bad mum. but I cant help but feeling a bit embarrassed as the dentist clearly doesnt think I take this job seriously. I guess a lot of people dont realise that they kids still have bad teeth despite taking care of their teeth. does anyone feel the same?

I was lucky, in that the dentist (paediatric dentist, v experienced), who saw my dd1 aged 6 with such bad decay between her teeth that she needed 3 crowns , told me quite clearly that it wasn't my fault.

She explained that dd has weak tooth enamel, which is genetic, and that her well-brushed teeth had needed flossing as the decay was in between teeth, not on them. I had never thought of flossing a 5 year old's teeth, and no, that doens't make me a bad mother!

And nor are you

My dd aged 8 she only drinks milk and water, careful with what she eats and shespends alot of time doing her teeth but has had a problem with four teeth, yet her older brothers have had no trouble at all.
Our dentist said she has weak enamel and not to beat myself up about it as he can see we are doing all that we can to help her.
Carry on as you are and don't feel bad about it.

Weak enamel means no fizzy (not ever) , no fruit juice and no crisps (my mum is a hygienist and dictating this over my shoulder!!) as well as limiting sweets and brushing before breakfast and before bed. Don't over brush either.... twice a day for 2 minutes maximum.

What does your dentist say? Does he/she think it is your fault?

Although DD has been identified as having weak enamel,I find it hard to make myself believed that she never drinks fizzy or squash.
I feel like I've done something wrong,but I didn't know rules such as eating cheese neutralizes the acid that attacks the teeth,until I researched it.
I really feel I could have been better educated.

A good dentist will be able to distinguish between parents at their wits' end who have a child with weak enamel, and those who don't give a shit (presumably they don't see the latter very often anyway). We have one child with weak enamel who has needed all sorts of intervention (one second tooth came through so weak that it needed a filling a few months later), and another who has never needed any sort of treatment. Yet the DC whose teeth are a mess is more conscientious about brushing and DC with great teeth is a bit of a sweetaholic (who we have to keep a very strict watch over).