Am v worried about dd

[Somenameorother]

She has a problem with her leg, which is being investigated (for about 6m now) and we are no further on. She has had x-ray, physio, MRI and nothing to be seen. Now they want an ultrasound or MRI of her knee.

I am so worried that she has ms. It behaves so similarly to the way my legs were when I was her age (12) and nothing was found at the time, but years and years later I was dx.

Some time after I was dx dd was told (she won't say by whom) that she would have it. She was about 7 at the time and of course I told her that was utter nonsense. I have steered clear of talking about the possible genetic factor to her, not least because dh doesn't want to, but also because we've had a lot - and I mean a lot - of difficulties in the last 5 years, and dd has been suicidal. I don't want to add to her worries as she is still very fragile.

I have name changed as dd knows my normal posting name and I seriously don't want her to see this atm.

I am so weary of everything going wrong, and I am almost at the point where I can't deal with anything else. I will, I know, but I think I need reassurance or something. Sorry.

Dont have much advice - sorry but try stay positive and keep ya chin up :) hopefully everything works out ok x

I really feel for you and your DD. My mum was diagnised with MS when I was about 4, so 24 years ago now and it is a horrible illness. I remember finding out about the genetic element as a young teen and literally crying myself to sleep for nights on end, never daring to mention it to my parents. I still think about it now, but am counting my blessings rather than dwelling on something which might never happen.

I didn't realise the symptoms could start so young though :(

You don't really say what sort of symptoms she has in her leg though. It could be something more minor, the only way to know is to do the MRI/ultrasound and take it from there. You WILL cope, just take all the support that is available out there and on here, and try not to worry too much...not easy I know.

Have my first ever MN (((hug)))

Thank you for your replies. I asked mn last night to remove the thread as it still comes up under I'm on, so dd could conceivably see it. It's still here, so I guess it's not going to go, and the least I can do is reply to you.

No, her mental state is mainly due to lots and lots of people dying in a short space of time, her grandmother being completely senile and my step-father in law refusing to pay for adequate care for her despite his being absolutely loaded, my BIL dying and SIL being taken for 6k by BIL's stepson and dh being unable to control any of it so is the grumpiest/angriest/most frustrated man you could imagine atm.

That's why I haven't asked any medical person about the possibility of ms as I have no idea whether dd will just give up and kill herself, last nail in the coffin type thing.

Oh well, there you go, I've outed myself. Told you everything was going wrong!

Alicia's, I have PMd you, hope you don't mind.

The youngest person dx was 3 I think

Is there any possibility that you could both have whatever the undiagnosed leg thing is, because you are related, but that the leg thing is something separate to the MS? It would be very unusual for you both to develop first symptoms of MS as children, and in your case at least a very long gap then before the events that led to your diagnosis.

The leg thing for me lasted for years, I just learnt to ignore it. It finally went when I was about 25. Then I had major attack when I was 32, two in fact within 6 weeks of each other. This went undx. Pretty well full recovery in about 3 years. Then another major attack at 44, dx in a few months (there had been many many symptoms for about 4 years before the attack).

Maybe you're right, it does seem a bit coincidental that dd has similar symptoms at a similar age. Though she has had things since she was 5 or 6 from time to time which have sent little jolts of worry through me.

I have had a chat with a very sensible relative about this an hour or so ago, and she has mooted the possibility that dd's leg prob could be psychosomatic in reaction to all the shit that seems to eclipse us just as we get anywhere near equilibrium. That sounds perfectly plausible too. No idea what to do about that either.

Sorry, catsareevil, didn't make it clear. My leg problem resurfaces from time to time and there is no doubt it is ms. It feels like ms, acts like ms and I am positive it is ms. Though if they find something else in dd and start talking genetics then I'll have whatever tests to make sure.

Sorry

Does your DD know about your leg problems?

No, she doesn't particularly. They are minor in comparison to other things!

I hope you don't mind my jumping on.
Sorry to read all your family are
Going through, you sound very strong and brave yourself.
I was just wondering if your daughter is seeing a mental health practitioner? I mean it in the kindest way possible but what you have described sounds incredibly difficult and stressful for you all, not least throw in your daughters possible worries knowing you have MS, and then all the stuff that goes with being a teenager (nearly)
She could just overwhelmed ( along with all of the physical stuff too)
What your SIL has suggested too is a possibility - however full physical investigations need to be outruled so nothing is missed.
Hope your dd improves

Theseventhdwarf, I certainly don't mind you jumping in! Thank you. Yes she has seen a counsellor, been referred to CAMHS, seen school nurses and school counsellors. She finds them unhelpful. They make her feel worse, inadequate. We had a big storm just after Xmas as the school got v worried about her, rang us, and we talked to her when she got home.

She needs us to trust her to deal with all this. The awful thing for her was that we had listened to the school's concerns and not trusted her, not believed in her.

It's so difficult, as she is only 12, albeit a very mature 12 (intellectually, that is), but our faith in her is giving her strength to cope, whereas if we didn't I think she might collapse. I had a thread on the Xmas incident at the time.

I want so badly to send her to a counsellor, but it's the worst thing I could do for her, certainly in the short term. Every time the phone rings, I think it's the school.

For the moment, re her general well-being in light of all the shit, I think I'm best placed just letting her talk when she wants to, cry when she wants to, cuddle when she wants to.

Obviously not bring up the possibility of ms until later, keep my fingers crossed, and be honest if the subject comes up.

Oh boy, having kids is not easy.

Ah it sounds incredibly difficult. Its good that you have an open relationship with her. But I think you must consider also that a child who is going through a situation like that may not be best placed to decide what's best for them - even if they are mature. Counciling etc us often a difficult
Step. But equally as her mum and (especially as the lines of communication are open ) you know better when to push it in that direction or not too.
Is your gp good? Have they been able to offer any help? Is there any paediatrician involved ?

Paediatric physio, paediatric ortho consultant. Also the x-rays are being sent to adolescent bone specialist. GP is helpful. When I am back home (away for another funeral!) I will make appt with the GP to discuss the whole thing. I have been walking about with her a lot of the afternoon, and her leg behaves v similarly to mine.