Had a home birth — did I do ok?

[Daddyblog]

A few weeks ago my DW gave birth to our DD at home. We had planned to have her at home but things happened rather quickly at she came in such a hurry that I ended up as 'midwife' with a paramedic via 999 talking me through things.

Everyone's been very kind and I've had lots of praise/banter about being a midwife but I'm consumed by worry that I did ok ? for baby and wife.

DD came out with the umbilical cord around her neck. I managed to unloop this pretty quickly but she was quiet on arrival before giving the traditional wail within around a minute of being born.

My wife also ended up with a 2nd degree tear.

What I'd like to know from any medical types (or parents that have had similar/related situations is):

• If DD was damaged (my imagination screams 'brain damage' and 'oxygen depravation' at me constantly) when would these symptoms show? She seems fine and well now and community midwife is happy ? but how do you assess a 2-week-old for brain damage?

• Could I have done something differently to prevent/lessen my wife's tear? I tried to support the baby's head on delivery - but should I have been supporting the perineum or something else instead/as well?

Hope that I'm being a classic paranoid parent but can't shake these questions rattling around inside my head.

if she shouted after a minute she'd be fine, sounds about normal. , also loads of babies come out tangled in their cord so if you unlooped it and it kept pulsing then she was still getting oxygen via her placenta.

nothing you could do about the tear. some perineums tear sometimes and there is bugger all you can do about it, particularly if the baby is coming really quickly.

and congratulations.

Am sure you'll get some professional advice here soon but just wanted to say very well done! What an incredibly difficult situation and think you and your DW are both amazing for coping.

Enjoy your DD

Hi, firstly wow, well done. It does sound like you had a hell of a time and did really well. I'm not an expert but I think the tear is par for the course as they say. Had she been with a midwife she may have had to have a 'cut' anyway. I think you did as well as anyone would have. Re the cord round the neck, you should really speak to the GP about this and ask for regular assessments but as you got the cord off really quickly, you did the best thing possible. Stop stressing and be proud of yourself.

Well Done to you both!! Sounds amazing, what a thing to go through together. I'm sure its natural to re-live it and worry, but really, wow!! I hope that with time when you relive it, it is with pride and strength in a powerful shared experience rather than any worry about anything at all. What a lovely story for your dd one day. Enjoy it all!