My DS only has one testicle (would appreciate reassuring advice)

[HilaryMum]

At just a few months old my DS was opperated on due to an undesended testicle that was a risk to his health. The testicle was removed and for a further 15 years my DS has lived through what are just the first stages of puberty (as i mentioned he is currently 15) with only one testicle. I never speak to my son about this topic as I feel embarrassed, however I did used to occasionally when he was much younger. I worry a huge amount as I fear that when he gets a bit older he will feel too embarrassed to become sexually active even though he is a fairly popular, good-looking boy. I worry that shallow girls may not wish to go out with a boy with only one testicle and even worse, they may gossip about him and tell all of his friends. I am aware of cosmetic surgery such as prosthetic testicle implants however I have to admit it is a bit of a grey area. Can a boy of my DS's age have an implant? What are the implications? (i.e. will the size needed to be changed in the future) I am looking for reassuring advice and stories of anyone who is in a similar situation to me would be much appreciated. Thank you xx

I haven't got any specific experience of being a parent of a boy but I was intimate with one in my youth who told me eventually and I have to confess I'd never noticed. So I suspect you have no need to worry unduly on that count.

Hopefully someone will be along soon who can give you some more useful input.

Sorry - parent of a boy with one testicle

Thank you that's very reassuring :)

"man up" and talk to him.

It's not some big shameful secret. Practically and hormonally it is a non issue, as you have no doubt been told he will mature sexually as normal and have a full fertile sex life ahead of him (with a slight chance that he may not produce such high quality sperm but that isn't a great problem as a rule).

He needs to know that all will be well even though he only has 1 testicle- if you don't tell him no one will and if there is an atmosphere of "we don't talk about that" he may well stew quietly and get really worried.

IMHO talking about "embarrassing stuff" is best done in the car when you and he are alone- no eye contact, no interruptions LOL .

Make sure he knows that actually he his none the worse for having 1 testicle, and particularly, from a practical POV he knows he needs to take contraceptive precautions as seriously as anyone else or there WILL be unexpected surprises.

If he were my son I'd say that's how you are- a one testicle wonder or similar, and yes you could have a "falsie" if it bothers you (I would think that would be done at the end of puberty) and that is your choice. However why don't you wait and find out if actually you just say to your GF "I'm a one testicle wonder due to an op as a baby but I see no problem with that" an umm "carry on regardless".

Let's face it he wont be bullied at school for having one testicle- they all shower in swimming trunks if at all, and if his sexual confidence and self esteem depends on the testicle count then maybe he's got more to worry about than putting that cosmetic issue right?

I might also point out the current breast implant worries as cosmetic enhancement isn't without risk.

Like Christine, I had a boyfriend with only one testicle - in fact, perhaps it was the same boy? - and I would never have noticed if he hadn't mentioned it.

I doubt it would be noticable, and really if a gf is bothered about it then they're a shallow person and not worth bothering about are they?

I also had a partner with only one testicle and I never even noticed for several months until he told me! It was always more of an issue for him (embarrassed) than it was for me. In fact, it wasn't an issue for me at all, why would it be? I understand your concerns about being teased or gossiped about as young people can be cruel sometimes about things like that. My advice would be to advise him to choose his sexual partners wisely and to look for qualities in a partner like friendship and mutual respect before sleeping with them - however I would advise that anyway, regardless of only having one testicle :)

Thank you very much for your help :)

My ds had a testicle removed at the age of 10 ( because of torsion) i think i can honestly say it never bothered him at school or now as an adult ( he has always been open with me and confident to speak about more private things).

When he had the operation we were told that he could have a silicone implant when he reached 16, he has never bothered to have it done. He has been in a long term relationship for 4 years now, so his partner is obviously not troubled by the lack of one testicle! it also will not effect your sons ability to be a father in the future.

Hope that helps.

Yes, it does thank you

I've no experience of it apart from the fact that my dad only has one testicle. He's been married to mum for 38 years and they had me and two other DDs.

I also know of at least one female friend whose gone out with a guy with one testicle and only mentioned it in the context of a conversation along the lines of 'my BF has a hairy back', 'mine has a fleck of orange in his left iris', 'mine has a birth mark like a strawberry'. It was mentioned, but not in a derogatory sense IYSWIM.