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Children's health

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Original poster

How to clean Ds willy??

22 replies

whethergirl · 16/12/2011 22:26

Sorry, I should probably know this but I don't! Should I or DS (age 6) be doing anything to clean his willy? I always thought you had to pull the foreskin back and clean there, but there isn't much to pull back tbh.

Also, while I'm here, interested to know at what age did you let your ds (I imagine the dd's would have started sooner) wash himself and/or dry himself? He is 6.5 and would not consider letting him wash himself as he seems too young but thinking I should start letting him dry himself.

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FannyFifer · 16/12/2011 22:30

At 6 and a half he should be well able to wash himself including his willie and get dried and dressed.

Original poster

whethergirl · 16/12/2011 22:36

Really? Totally unsupervised?
Surely not washing his hair?

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pinkmagic1 · 16/12/2011 22:38

He should really be washing and drying himself at 6.5. My DS is 7 and does it himself although I normally give his back a scrub for him! No willy advice I'm afraid as DS is circumsised, I'm sure someone will be along shortly though!

Popbiscuit · 16/12/2011 22:52

My 6.5 year old washes, dries and dresses himself. I do have to make sure that he's rinsed all the suds out of his hair but other than that he can do everything himself. My DSs are circumcised too so no willy cleaning necessary here either. I would think it's fairly important to teach them that fairly early on, though, as you probably don't want to be doing that for an almost 7 year old!

kickingking · 16/12/2011 22:59

My nearly five year old washes and dries himself. He needs help to rinse his hair though. DH talked to him about keeping his willy clean as soon as we realised he could pull his foreskin back. We've never done that for him - apparently the only person doing that should be the boy himself, someone else could hurt him.

tbh I think your son should have more responsibility for his own hygiene by now.

liverLadyLass · 16/12/2011 23:11

My son has just turned eight and I bath him,well I make a bath and he washes his bits but I wash his hair.. I normally have my three year old daughter there also, I still even do his teeth..

Original poster

whethergirl · 16/12/2011 23:13

Yes, I need to get on to it. I've been having a look elsewhere on internet and it does seem that most 6 year olds are expected to wash themselves. I don't know why I've carried on doing it, I think DS still seems so young. How does anyone ever know these things? (Or how comes everyone else seems to know apart from me!)

And tomorrow will be a great time to start as I've done my back in and can't wash him anyway!

Still not sure what to tell him about cleaning his willy though. Just pull foreskin back and make sure you clean it, I suppose?

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Original poster

whethergirl · 16/12/2011 23:14

I wonder if it's different in different cultures?

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kickingking · 16/12/2011 23:19

Well, when I say he washes himself - he does, but DH or I are in the bathroom. To make sure he does actually wash, not just play in the bath!

I'm quite harsh into promoting independence. It was commented on the other day that DS was the only Reception child who carries his own bag and lunchbox to school.

LivingDead · 16/12/2011 23:24

I didn't even know you had to do anything special to willies , oh well ds1 is 5 and it hasn't fallen off yet, will ask Dp tomorrow (lucky him ).

usualsuspect · 16/12/2011 23:27

bit odd to post about this at this time off night

Original poster

whethergirl · 16/12/2011 23:45

usualsuspect Is it? When would be a less odd time?

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Original poster

whethergirl · 16/12/2011 23:47

LivingDead - I know there is, but not sure when you are supposed to start. Can you let me know what your dh says please!

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kickingking · 17/12/2011 08:33

You are supposed to start cleaning behind the foreskin when the child can retract it himself. No need before that. The foreskin retracting can happen any tine between 2 and 7 - nobody but the child should be trying to do it, as it is natural process abd trying to 'force' it could hurt and cause problems.

We had to Google this as DH couldn't remember when this happened for him DS was only 3 when we noticed him pulling his foreskin back in the bath, and DH thought thus seemed early.

BertieBotts · 17/12/2011 08:41

Are you in the US? They seem a bit overly cautious about foreskins over there. You don't need to do anything to it. If he can retract it then he can always do that in the bath and just swish it about in the water a bit, but nobody else needs to touch it and you should never force it to retract.

HTH

Cinders22 · 17/12/2011 08:51

Whethergirl I would start your DS now with washing his willy. It took our DS (5) a little while to get the foreskin all the way back, he did it a little bit at a time until now he quite confidently pull it back, swishes it around in the bath water then pulls the foreskin back. The bath is the best place to do this apparently. I asked my DH to discuss with him why his willy needs to be cleaned as like you I did not have a clue and to be honest we only started it because he had a problem with his willy itching and his GP said it was because he needed to clean it.

Original poster

whethergirl · 17/12/2011 10:41

Ok well, I don't think ds' willy is retracting yet. I'm just not sure anymore and it's been a while since I've seen another one! kickingking will also try googling it.

BertieBotts I'm not in the US but I come from a culture where DS is expected to be circumcised. My mum mentioned it the other day, and I'm opposed to it. So there's this whole thing in my family about it being more hygienic and that not having it done is simply unhygienic.

Cinders22 that sounds like it's a skill! I'm hoping pulling the foreskin back will just naturally happen. If it hasn't happened already.

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BertieBotts · 17/12/2011 11:03

Ah okay - yes the foreskin "fear" seems to be related to high circumcision levels. Really they aren't very problematic at all, willies don't really need much care. When they are little just wipe it like you would his finger and when he's older he just needs to pull back and swish, no soap or even wiping needed really. If it's not retracted yet then there is no need to clean under it at all, and it's very normal for them to retract slowly, not suddenly all in one go. It's fairly likely that this will all happen naturally anyway, as he explores/plays around with it by himself, it's a natural progression for him to think "Hmm I wonder how this would feel in the water?" and by then he'll probably be bathing alone anyway.

Like female genitalia, it's mostly self cleaning and doesn't require massive amounts of maintenance. As long as he's bathing or showering regularly it will be getting washed in the natural course of things.

Original poster

whethergirl · 17/12/2011 11:32

Thanks for that BertieBotts that's very helpful.

Well I just announced to ds, all excited "Guess what you're going to start learning to do by yourself today" thinking he'd love the grown up element. But when I told him, he burst into tears, said he didn't want wash himself until he was about 9 or 10 and got quite disproportionately upset (sigh). Obviously if I knew I was going to get that response, I wouldn't have even mentioned it, just introduced it gradually!

His is crying his eyes out at the moment in his bedroom, saying it's too hard even though I have tried to explain that I will be there to help and I'm only going to START showing him how to do it. The thing is, he really does need a bath/shower today but I've done my back in and very restricted in movement.

Now it seems to have turned into an issue. How annoying.

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BertieBotts · 17/12/2011 11:38

Oh also to mention - I don't know if you're in the UK, but if not and the country you live in does have high circumcision rates it's important not to let a doctor try to retract his foreskin during a checkup etc. This would never happen here because uncircumcised penises are the norm, but apparently happens quite often in the US (and ironically is most likely the cause of many infections etc which circumcision is supposed to prevent!)

Original poster

whethergirl · 17/12/2011 11:44

Ooh no BertieBotts I am in the UK thankfully!

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Suzannesee · 17/12/2011 16:16

All males are not born equal. Foreskins can be very much a problem for some and no problem at all for others. Parents with the latter experience can't understand how awful it can be for those boys who have a naturally tight foreskin which can cause pain and infection right into adulthood. If the foreskin can't be retracted then the penis can't be cleaned properly. Deciding at what age your son can and should do this for himself is a big variable and the older he is the less you will want to be involved in supervising it beyond telling him what to do.

Tight foreskins can also be hereditary too. As DH was circumcised and we are both happy that he is, we had no hesitation in circumcising our boys as babies. We are not religious but doing this early takes all the worry and guesswork out of this situation and it is reassuring to read here that others have done this.

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