Can anyone explain why a GP would say to a 9 year old 'Having your tonsils out is up to you'

[piratecat]

I don't get it. Who 'wants' an operation at all What adult would choose to?

DD has been ill with this sort of throat thing coughing headaches for years, and tbh i wish it had been looked into before. I believe they think most kids will grow out of things when immunity increases but on the otherhand I am not a doctor and it seems that quite a few of the antibiotics have been 'probably' for tonsillitis'. Current doctor out of about 6 we have seen in the last 9 years has actualy had a look back at dd's record and just this year she is now on her 5th lot of penicillin.
This was at my insistence and the fact dd misses so much school it's getting crazy.

Anyway the gp more or less said that even if ENT suggest it it's up to dd.
I had mine out at 6 my mum had hers out at 15 and it's only by my bringing it up that the gp has said 'oh it could by genetic'.

I think at 9 a child should have a say in if they have an operation. Infact unless its life or death I don't see why they wouldn't get a say?

At 10 I made the choice I wanted to have an non urgent operation with guidance from my parents and drs.

I think it's great he said that to her. It's not about wanting an operation, that's a tiny part of it. It's about wanting to feel better and stop being pumped full of pills. She should have a say.

Actually I think this is not an unreasonable thing to say if someone is on the borderline whether they should do it or not. I was asked my opinion on ds's grommets, I was also asked whether I wanted dd1 to have a bloodtest for something. Ds had grommets, dd1 didn't have the bloodtest. I haven't regretted either decision.

Adults do choose surgery-think of cosmetic for a start off.

However I think he needs to have given advantages and disadvantages to her. He's also probably reckoning that if you have a strong opinion then you will "persuade her".

Coming from a different angle, I don't regard 5 lots of penicillin a lot-ds has had between 10 and 20 most years for ear infections, so I'd guess that she is borderline whether it is worth it not obviously so.

I can see what you are saying with it not being a life or death thing, but perhaps an explanation is what should have been given? Perhaps ENT will provide that to her. My concern is it was 'up to her at the end of the day' ! If the ENT says, actually she should have them out, then i resent the gp saying that. If the ENT says the same, then we will have to discuss it.
This goes way back, with the amount of penicillin per year, and al for the same thing. So much missed school, and headaches. I havent even taken her to the gp lots of times, because you just think, oh that's her she just gets things/it, and it often goes away by itself. Then she gets it recurring or seems to come down with other things. She spent her first 4 years coughing at night, which was pput down to asthma, but the inhalers never helped. I have always thought, she's just got low immunity. She looks pretty awful, sunken eyed and pale when she gets it.

the decision most certainly should NOT be up to a 9 year old!

what a ridiculous thing for a GP to say.
so if she decides she doesn't want her tonsils out that's that? she just goes on being really ill forever?

The GP probably thinks that it is a marginal thing, and that your DDs wishes are the most significant factor in this. If she is finding the episodes of tonsillitis very unpleasant then she will probably want the op, if she isnt that bothered she might not.

Looking at it from the other side, if ENT say that she could have them out, and she says, 'actually, it really isnt that much of a problem for me, and I would rather wait and see how things go' what would you do?

i have no idea what i would do! It makes her miserable, she is ill alot and misses school. If i say those things to her, then she may well shrug and say I suppose so mum. She may not. How much do I say, am i not allowed to coerce her, even tho i think it will prob be best.
How does one deal with is if the child is 6, do they have a say.

if the ENT says see how she goes, then i will. I don't want her to have it done, but it's been getting worse.

The amount of say they get has to depend on maturity of the child. At 6 they wouldn't have the same maturity as a 9 year old. Some 9 year olds are more mature than others.

Have you spoken to her about it? What does she think? Ultimately it is you who will have to sign the consent form anyway but she should get some say in what happens with her own body.

My gp asked me when I was 11 if I would like my tonsils out. I was a bit taken aback, as was my mum. I had similar problems to your dd Piratecat. Constant throat infections and bronchitis, lots of antibiotics, missing school and getting behind at school work.

To be honest I wish I'd had them out then. After another 10 years of problems culminating in a full year of constant tonsilitis I had them out aged 21. Bloody painful operation at that age. I had to stay at home quarantined for three weeks. I bled a lot in those three weeks, huge clots of black blood kept coming up. I could barely eat, it took me about an hour and half to eat a piece of toast (and of course now it's not jelly and ice cream after a tonsilectomy, it's scratchy things, toast, crisps, crispbreads - ouchy!)

I hope you are able to make a decision with your dd. It is daunting at that age to try and think about operations. I was massively needlephobic and that was one of the reasons why i decided against it at age 11. But I would happily swap a small needle jab for the three weeks of pain and misery I had to face 10 years later.

headfairy, my god that sounds grim.

sorry you had all that misery. see that's what its becoming now, miserable. I'm fretting, she's run down. Of course it may not be just tonsillitis, and i suspect thats why that opt for the wait and see if they grow out of it scenario.

Yet if it's borderline what decision would one make for a six year old? How is it different, if it means the child might suffer without the op, for more yrs.

It's a tough one, because I was warned that instead of my tonsils bearing the brunt of repeated infections I could end up getting more laryngitis or chest infections. I believe tonsils are designed to catch all the viruses to stop them going down in to our all together more important lungs. I might be wrong, it was quite a long time ago. But after years of terrible sore throats, to the extent I couldn't swallow saliva on some days, I noticed the difference instantly. I didn't have another sore throat for a looong time afterwards.

A lot of my problems might have been complicated further by a nasty bout of glandular fever which left me under the weather for about 2 years, plus a late teenaged fling with vegetarianism which I think left me a bit malnourished (my first two years at uni I think I ate only toast, baked beans and jacket potatoes - I was seriously lacking in protein!)

That said, i haven't looked back. Even when I get a nasty cold it doesn't go to my chest or my throat in the way it used to. My tonsils were apparently really large and riddled with infected tissue

so what you were warned about, with the infection going to the more important lungs, hasn't happened.

this is the problem then, i'd be feeling pretty crap if she started to get infections further down, yet I've also read that at least she would start to build up resistance.

Research results and evidence shows that involving children in their treatment decisions is better for the child, they report better quality of life results, they are less likely to have adverse feelings to further treatments and in some cases it can directly impact the success of the intervention.

i can see that katz, totally. I always try to involve dd is decision making, and she is a pretty grounded and erudite kid.

It was the 'ultimately its up to you' which today she has said, 'well even if the hospital say I have to, the doctor said it's up to me'

it's something she can't forget. so she's not making imo a rounded deciosion now. iyswim.

i guess i can just say, the gp was wrong if it comes to that.

the problem is that at 9 she might think "i don't want an operation, i'm happy to put up with the tonsilitis"

she is not mature enough to be able to think of the long-term effects. of the tonsillitis AND taking lots of AB's and what that entails.
she doesn't realise that if she doesn't have it now she may have to have it done as an adult when it's far riskier and more unpleasant,

this isn't the kind of decision a 9 year old child should be making and it's pretty fucking irresponsible of the GP to suggest it is IMO.

I had mine out when I was 8 and was told "you need your tonsils out" end of. It just was a non-issue. Iwent in, had it done, got my special present (my little pony with a growing tail) and all was well and good.

I think we give children these days far too much input in things like this, which they just don't need.

yes i did know about the weight gain.

If she refuses, they will not take her up for surgery, so it is up to her at the end of the day. I think it's a good approach if enough information on pros and cons is given to you both

really? so a child that needs an operation will not get it if they decide they don't want it?
at 9:?

ffs

If it is a non-essential/marginal benefit procedure then realistically even if the child is taken to the hospital a struggling and distressed 9 year old will not be restrained, and forced through the pre assessment and then the procedure.

I had mine out at 31. It is a horrible operation to have as an adult, children bounce back much much quicker. IMO they don't recommend the op unless they think it is necessary.

I can understand a little why the doctor told your dd that it was her choice however I think she could have worded it much better.

Well - I had mine out age 5 and adenoids as was typical back then. My Mum said I never ate a thong before and afterwards I never looked back

Whenever I have had sore throats as an adult, where my tonsils would have been goes very red, but over the last 4 years - I have had tonsillitis!!! I am currently sat here typing this to you with my throat on fire, spreading up my tongue after a whole night of being awake, feeling like a blow torch is constantly being held to my throat.

I usually try to hang off going to the docs as not keen on AB really - plus my doctor will only give them out if very necc. But i realise now that once it hits this stage I just feel lousy and know i need something - doc will poss say he's not sure AB will do anything as could be viral, but offers me a prescription to take in a few days time - I feel I now know my own body, I gargle with soluble tablets, take honey and salt mouth washes and nothing helps at all, so off to docs tomorrow I prob get it this bad about once a year (since having DS funnily enough ) so have got appt for tomorrow in the hope I get AB now as feel horrific at this moment and no sleep not helping either.

I feel it's a hard decision to make - I have been problem free for years (am 35 now) and like I say, when I had a sore throat, that part would always be the reddest - it is only since I had DS I have had these problems again. I understand why my parents went ahead with it - I was ill a lot and couldn't eat, but right now, I just want to cry I feel so lousy - still at least it is only about once a year rather than 5/6 times plus a year!

Having said all that I wouldn't want to have the op as an adult either, but whatever you decide, make sure you are very happy with it and no regrets as you make the decision that seems right at the time.

Good luck - sorry for moaning, just wanted to share it from my perspective