dd first period aged 11 advice!!!

[JETS]

My poor little twin dd has started her period today aged 11 but still at primary - she is being really brave but was crying and is really worried about school etc i feel this wouldnt be so noticeable at secondary - also we go on hol at the end of the term and i am now worried about whether she will be able to use tampons - which best for starters etc cos of swimming and will probably only b her second p. we have told her sister as twin worried she could start some time soon too. Feel a bit resigned but low - any advice on how to handle would be great!

Cuddles, chocolate. Lots of towels available in the bathroom and a couple in her school bag. There are probably a few girls in her class who have already started their periods and she won't have noticed, no-one at school needs to know :) Just remind her to pop to the loo at break and lunch to change her pad.

I think you can get 'mini' tampons - so they're little and ideal for very light flow. In the beginning periods aren't necessarily regular anyway so she might not have a period at all when you go away.

Thanks F bathroom is hopelessly small so have put some in cupboard for now. Feel so sorry for her being young plus she is a little girl so although we have chatted about this she is still sad!

By little I mean not trying to be all teenage like some others on her year!

I'd say don't go over the top with feeling sorry for the poor little thing: 11 is not really that early to have periods these days; I know plenty of girls that started at 10, and no doubt there will be some at her school.

Obviously you want to support her is she is feeling upset, but it does sound a bit like your whole family feels this is a dreadful thing to happen. Don't remember any reaction like this when dd started hers at 10- or even when I started mine at 11 40 years ago. It is probably more reassuring if you are sympathetic but matter of fact.

I was 9 when I started mines. At first I was a bit shaken and worried about how I would cope in school, but after a couple of months it was easy.

I'm sure she will be fine, just don't be overly sympathetic, it isn't a bad thing remember.

Also, I started using tampons after a few months as I felt like I was wearing a nappy and it made me quite reserved and depressed. Once I started using them my confidence was way higher.

Thanks for your comments dont worry though I havent been sitting in a bed of despair or anything! we have been very matter of fact etc but she was upset - in tbe end had great fun buying up all of superdrug so she could decide which toweks etc she liked bedt - she seems fine but still bit worried about hol as tampons not gone great she will persevere though! Thx for the comments though and sorry if my first feed sounded so negative - no big deal yes but a big deal for her!

Get mini non-applicator tampons. The non-applicator ones are smaller and easier to get in the right position.

I second strawberry, I started when I was 10, and used mini tampons (non applicator) almost immediately (I think from second or third) and it was fine. She's unlikely to be regular so holiday may well not be an issue but I can see you want to be prepared.

If you feel the need to tell school please do it sensitively. 22 years ago my school invited parents to meeting to decided if they were happy about a facts of life talk. My mum told others there I'd already started ("I wasn't going to lie"). I was devastated and mortified the following day when they'd told their daughters and by break the whole class knew. There was no need for this and thinking about it now for the first time in a LONG time I am still upset with my mum about it. Take care

Girls seem to be starting their periods earlier these days my daughter was in juniors when she started. I know a couple of the girls were only nine. I know it was quite a while before she was regular so she might be alright for your holiday

I was devastated when I started mine and I was nearly 14 so I think it's quite reasonable to be upset by the whole thing! I'm still devastated when they start every month too

There's no rush to use tampons, surely. I'm sure I used pads for a while before attempting that.

Please do tell the school so they can be understanding if she feels the need to be excused to go to the loo, or is self conscious about getting changed for PE, or just feeling tired and low etc etc

also get her a pretty little cosmetics bag for carrying her san pro in her schoolbag - she is likely to be irregular/unpredictable so she should have some in her bag all the time now.

The other issue about contacting the school, especially as she is still at primary school, is that there usually isn't any sanitary disposal bins in the bathrooms. It may be that the teacher can let her use the staff loo at breaktimes. I'm a nurse and specialise in early puberties and this is an issue that crops up regularly (although I must agree with someone earlier and 11 really isn't that early, so please don't worry about that issue!) Also think about swimming at school, changing rooms etc. Also, again agreeing with others, its doubtful she will be regular straightaway, so you'll probably be ok for your holiday. I remember I started on my summer holiday in July (grr) and then didn't have my next one until on the school ski trip (December - double grr!) Hth..

Poor thing. I was 12 when I started but a county swimmer so it was essential I started using tampons quickly, but i couldn't get one in! My brother was confused, we on holiday too and dad was taking us to a water park that day but i told my brother i wasn't going to swim but didnt tell him why, he was so confused and kept pestering me to come swimming. I didn't know what to do and I just couldn't get the thing in however much I tried. Eventually I put some moisturiser on it! Probably stupid because I'm probably lucky I didn't get thrush or something bacterial but it did the job and I think I was ok after the first time. The days of using a pad were so grim but admittedly they are much thinner and nicer now. Just like nappies are.... Anyway do warn her she might find it hard to get it and yes if there are mini mini ones then do get them for her

Would Vaseline be ok for that purpose? A more normal thing to put in the bathroom cabinet than lube, which i wouldn't want to buy for a 12yo.

Guess it would work but only at the tip or the thing would become waterproof

A few years ago Lil Lets did non-applicator tampons which came in a little pouch with a tiny sachet of lube - you had to kind of push the tampon into the sachet, and then unwrap it. I don't think they do them any more but I'm sure any water-based lubricant would do the job. I don't think it's an inappropriate thing at all, there are lots of medical uses for lube, it's not just a sex aid.

Tampax Pearl are also probably the easiest applicator tampons to use, the applicator is a solid piece of plastic (rather than faffing around with the compact ones, or bits of cardboard that fall apart) and go in easily. They do a Lite size, but not a mini.

Poor thing. I was 12 when mine started and I felt very exposed and anxious. Although there were already about 6 or so girls in my class whose periods had already started. We used to talk about it and it felt like belonging to a private little club. Just a couple of words of caution about using tampons this early. Firstly, she may find it tricky to insert them correctly - the last thing she needs is to bruise herself. It took me a long time to get the hang of them. And she may also need reminding to change them regularly - don't want to run the risk of toxic shock syndrome. And I wouldn't use Vaseline or anything else that is oil or petroleum based. If she does go down the tampon route get her some water based lube - it's designed for vaginas.