4yr old with a broken leg, add in a 3yr old with SN & a newborn; any tips for the next few weeks?

[JustKeepSwimming]

DS1 (who's 5 in 2 weeks) broke his leg at school - first day back, was only there 2hrs!) falling over a ball. He's broken his tibia and has a cast from toes to groin.
This cast I think will be on for 4 weeks, then a shorter cast for 2 weeks if all goes well.

I've just had DD (10 days old now) and had a bad tear with lots of stitches so advised not to do any heavy lifting (not sure for how long though).

DH can be at home next week thankfully then will really have to go back to work (and often works away Mon-Thurs).

DS2 has SN and has no clue about the baby or DS1's broken leg but will be at his SN sch most mornings, collected by bus in the morning & our p-t nanny/his carer will be picking him up at lunchtimes (can see current circs will increase his hours much earlier than planned, hey ho).

We can increase the Nanny's hours temporarily and she is a star but she can't be here first thing or overnight.

DS1 is refusing to try his crutches - though tbh I'm a bit about a 4/5yr old managing crutches (incl stairs!) so we have borrowed a wheelchair so he can get some fresh air. Though the physios at hosp seemed keen for him to manage the crutches before discharge, DH was fed up & DS1 was screaming so they gave up.
Oh and so far we've had 2 disturbed nights with DS1 sobbing, me crying & feeling awful, now DH has reread the instructions on the calpol & neurofen we've started a more rigid pain relief routine

employ a nanny and leave the country

Sorry that was very flippant and totally unhelpfull.

I have no experience but you do have my total sympathy. It must be a bloody nightmare.

How big/heavy is DS1 - could he ride in a buggy? And have DD in sling whilst DS2 is at school? Then you could go out?

I would have a pram for DD in the house if space permits so that you can move around easily. When my DD was born, my autistic DS had only just turned 2 and I took DD round the house in a pram with me. Also, had DD's playmat inside a playpen so that DS could not fall on her.

LOL Mamazon - i would willingly hand over DD to a FF Nanny and run to the Maldives at this point!!!
Nightmare about sums it up.I'm trying not to think about when DH goes back to work, it's the only way I can function right now.

Have no idea if DS1 will go back to sch/how he'll go back to sch. How would i even get him from car to classroom - when his classroom is upstairs, steep & narrow stairs too. With DD in tow as well.
DH has ideas about going in with him next week, but then what?

And DH has a bad back anyway so this is not helping, having to lift DS1 to the loo, kitchen, bed, etc.

Thanks Greencaveman - i have a pram for DD yes, she gets plonked in there/sleeps in there during the day.

DS1's cast sticks straight out so can't just go in a normal buggy as needs support for his leg. With the wheelchair we added a plank of wood which seemed to work.
Could do wheelchair to stairs with DD in sling for sch runs...

I think that kids are pretty resiliant. I reckon that given a couple of days he will be charging about same as before.

DH's bad back may be helped by giving DS1 a potty to use rather than carrying him to the toilet.

I hope so Mamazon - in a way, i will probably freak about it!

Green - yes i have suggested that to DH but he thinks DS1 needs to get more confident balancing himself with his good leg. We don't seem to be agreeing on much atm :(
Also DS1 gets very upset when anything goes wrong, esp re toilet stuff atm (has had some accidents in bed which never happened when he came out of pullups) and he may get upset about the idea of a potty. It's all a minefield!

He's quite heavy by the way, not sure how heavy but i would normally be able to carry him a bit, not sure i would upstairs but if I had too i would.

DO you have a bathroom downstairs? If not then put a potty on a low stool so he doesn't have to lower himself but can still sit iyswim. Potty on stool is not potty, so might help.

Other than that, wait until you have spoeknt to the school as they may have procedures in place, I know in schools I have been in there are children who have broken legs and they move classes or let them sit in the library or something so they can still be involved.

but massive sympathies, any friends who can come over for 'playdates' toddlerwrangling?

We have a loo downstairs thankfully so it's not a trip upstairs every time.

We will speak to the school next week, they have provisionally said someone will carry him upstairs and down at sch - though I can see this being fraught with all sorts of H&S nonsense.

Obv most of his friends will be at sch most of the time, but we can arrange for some to come round. It's just that they'll have to come round and not run around/be happy to sit with DS1. We will try, i think a friend with a DS wants to meet DD tomorrow some time, and see how that goes.

My ds1 (5.10) had a broken leg last tErm (spiral fracture of the lower leg). He was in a full leg cast for 4 weeks. A few things come to mind...

1. Ask the hospital for a walking frame rather than crutches. Much easier to manage.

1. We put ds1 in ds2's old buggy with ds2 on the buggy board. Much less cumbersome than a wheelchair. He seemed to manage the leg sticking out thing fine

1. Most important... It wasn't that bad! And we don't even have a downstairs loo. Within about a week ds1 was fully mobile including on stairs (on his bum). A week later he had ditched the frame and was running around on the cast. We put one of dh's walking socks on his bad foot to protect his toes. By the end he was even riding his balance bike at full speed Ds1 is not particularly physical or well coordinated by the way.

Good luck . Feel free to ask me any more questions. I will try to dig out a snap of ds1 riding his bike with his cast on

By the way ds1 went back to school a week after his fracture (when he was ready) as did all the other children at the fracture clinic. He went into year 2 at times when the class were doing something he couldn't manage. He got himself up and down stairs, and the staff (or boys!) pushed him round in the buggy.

Sorry, I missed your comment on the buggy and why you need the wheelchair btw

Acebaby - thanks so much :)

We have a frame as well as crutches and yesterday DS1 finally seemed to realise he could move himself around a bit - having his friend here definitely helped. He can now have a good go with the frame - with one of us behind him as he's a bit wobbly & slow-going. But I reckon he could get from the car to the stairs for his classroom, esp if i park in the staff car park as it's closest. Will have to either have DD in a sling or leave her in the car (not as bad as it sounds, an enclosed car park i think it would be quite safe).

Am a bit at your DS riding his bike!!
DS1 never liked his balance bike so we've leant it to friends, he does have a normal one with stabilisers that i might hide from him for a while, lol! Not sure my nerves can take him rushing around.

So, i think he might be up for spending some time at school tomorrow, maybe arrive late/leave early & establish who is happy to carry him if/when needed.

Meanwhile...DS2 has been sick twice....deep joy. Am hoping it was a passing thing and he'll be able to go to pre-sch tomorrow (need to check if they are 24hrs or 48hrs post-puke). And breathe....

Oh no! Puke is all you need! I must admit that my nerves were pretty shredded by the end by ds1's antics. His teacher asked me not to bring in his frame because he was climbing on it rather than using it to walk. I struggled with ds1 and ds2 (2yo bolter) at the school, but loads of other mums offered to help with ds2 and ds1's book bag etc. I'm sure that dd would be fine in the car though. You could always dash back for her once you've got ds1 into the classroom and then take a few minutes to settle him in

I hope ds1 has a good day at school. Keep me posted

Capitulate & get hold of a Nintendo DS for DS1. He can always play on it in the garden

Thanks! DH recently got an iPad through work and DS1 has been making the most of that :) Though he can't help me with the Angry Birds level i'm stuck on as he's stuck on it too

Think he will be fine, DS2 however has crashed out on the sofa with no lunch. Guessing we may have to cancel pre-sch tomorrow At least no more puke...yet.

Update:

DS1 went to school today & had a good day :)
They looked after him, carried him, etc. so that's sorted for the next few weeks, phew!

DS2 was sick again so no pre-sch for him today, no more puking today so maybe over the worst though he's still not 100%.

DD being a star :)

Oh and special bag for the cast arrived so DS1 can try and have a bath tonight!

fantastic that your DS1 managed so well. Great to hear the school are being supportive. Most schools are I think - after all, it isn't particularly uncommon for a child to be in a cast for one reason or another. It would have been a shame if DS1 had been stuck at home for weeks when he is basically perfectly well. My DS1 was really self-conscious on his first day back, but quickly got into the swing of things.

I hope DS2 picks up soon. I'm glad to hear that little DD is behaving herself. How are you doing? You sound remarkably upbeat all things considered .

How much money do you have to throw at this?

Firstly, regarding the break. He will be in a great deal of pain now, but it WILL very quickly subside into a slight ichy ache as it heals. He will sleep better soon.

Secondly, I'm assuming (sorry if wrong) that you have some disposable income to throw at this.... get a large dog gate for your 3 year old's bedroom. You can shut yourself and your baby in there to feed the baby. There isn't much you immobile 4 year old can get up to, so put a DVD on for him or...

Thirdly, you can buy gameboys very cheap on GAME.com. They are about £15, and the games are about a fiver. Not ideal entertainment, but he must have something to do, and you simply do not have the time and resources to sit with him all the time.

Fourthly, assuming he's an average weight, is there any reason why you cannot get a cheap second hand double buggy, and put him and Ds2 in it, and baby in a sling if you need to leave the house?

Fifthly, wrt the stairs. Teach him to go up the stairs backwards, by sitting on the bottom step and pushing up with his arms and his good leg. Schedule toilet breaks unless he is VERY good at knowing he needs to go, as this may take him 10/15 minutes at first.

Crikey poor you!

My ds1 broke his femur 6 weeks ago so just want to say I know how you feel!

Wallace - thanks! How is your DS getting 6 weeks in?

Colditz - thanks for all those tips, he's got the hang of the stairs on his bottom now thankfully, and can even get himself up onto the loo, took himself for a wee first thing this morning, we were impressed :)

Next x-ray check on Monday so hopefully they won't see anything worrying and he can just carry on as he is.

Oh my goodness, no advice, but many sympathise and lots of and cake and everything that colditz said!

He is doing well now. He is 11 so it was hard at first before he could use crutches (has broken wrist too) He doesn't have a cast on his leg which prob makes it easier. Also an 11 year old is easier to sit in front of the playstation entertain

good luck for mon :)

Thanks Bumper & Wallace.

Wallace - what on earth did your DS do to break 2 bones at once?
And lol at playstation, 'luckily' DS1 is a telly-addict and is quite happy to sit in front of the box for hours on end

Plus he plays games on my phone or computer too.

It's all feeling mostly manageable at the moment, though the sch drop-off & collection is still a logistical challenge, due to be truly tested later when i have to collect him on my own with all 3 DC

He was riding a motorbike - he races and was training in Spain when it happened.

It does make everything just that bit harder, doesn't it...

Do you know that game Dog,Duck,Corn where you have to get them all across the river but can't leave the duck with the corn, etc? I feel that my life is like that at the moment!