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Children's health

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Original poster

dd aged 4 needs glasses, she is a bit sad...i am really upset

18 replies

littleducks · 28/03/2011 18:47

DD is learning to read in english (in reception) and arabic (outside school). Her arabic teacher said she was squinting and suggested an eye test when she moved up to smaller text.

School said she was fine in English so i booked a test not expecting her to have any problems.

She had eye test today, with drops which was horrid they really stung and she was really good but hated it. She is longsighted and needs glasses, which she is worried about

I feel crap for not noticing before. In fact for not noticing. I really didnt like her having the drops because it was horrid to watch and she is complaining that she cant see properly now (apparently her vision will be blurry in places till tomorrow)

DH has glasses (i think he is shortsighted though) and his eyesight is really bad. He hates his glasses so much, but cant have surgery like he had hoped.

So I know it isnt a big deal really and logically cant see why I am upset but I really am.

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grumpypants · 28/03/2011 18:52

ds wears glasses (has done since 3?) - there are loads of cute ones and he is so keen to wear them that there are no issues at all. He knows they help him see so he likes them. I let him choose the frames and he is perfectly happy - no teasing at school, no worries from him, it will be fine. Surprised the drops still having an effect -ds must be immune to them by now! He no longer sees anyone at the hospital, just normal optician.

lostlady · 28/03/2011 18:52

This happened with me and dd too. All I can say is that she is now a few years older and glasses are pretty trendy: I (& she) feel better about it now). Tho she is starting to ask when she can get contact lenses....

I don't know why either, but was gutted when we got the news, but it has helped her enormously with work and generally, and at least glasses can be fashionable nowadays.

Am hypocrite tho, as am wearing contact lenses as I type.

Original poster

littleducks · 28/03/2011 18:57

She doesnt want to wear the glasses though

(Neither dh or I have let on that we are sad btw, I am just venting on here)

I dont know why she is worried, am going to have a chat later as ds has been a bit of a pain and I want to have a one to one chat, she wont have to wear them all the time...so it might be a loosing them/not knowing where to put them in school problem rather than the glasses themselves

OP posts:

TigerFeet · 28/03/2011 19:00

Same thing happened to dd1, only she was a bit younger. We only noticed that she had any problems when one of her eyes turned in, turns out she was long sighted and had a lazy eye. You do feel bad for not noticing, but if the child has never known any different they think it's normal and they have no way of knowing that they need to let you know there's a problem. THey do learn to compensate to a degree. So please don't feel bad, there's no need.

As for glasses, dd1 was the envy of all her friends when she first got hers. There are loads of lovely frames out there that are free or very low cost with the NHS voucher. DD1 has never had any problems with hers, loads of children in her school wear them.

It can be a shock but it will be fine :)

dikkertjedap · 28/03/2011 20:13

Quite a few of the boys and girls in dds class do have really nice glasses (colourful, nice shapes). She was actually disappointed not to need them as it is apparently really fashionable at the moment in reception (at least at her school). So, try not to feel upset, select some nice glasses and she may be the trendsetter!

SpringchickenGoldBrass · 28/03/2011 20:20

DC who squint a bit and are longsighted at this age quite often grow out of it later as long as they wear their glasses/eyepatches. My DS had glasses from about 3 till just turned 6 and doesn't need them now. But ignoring a squint and hoping it will go away on it's own is a bad idea.

Mind you I know what you mean, I felt a bit sad that my PFB had something wrong with him, IYKWIM.

yodelayheehoo · 28/03/2011 20:28

Maybe you could get her a nice 'Build a Bear' with glasses as a treat before she goes to get her glasses?

Original poster

littleducks · 28/03/2011 20:30

SGB- thats exactly it, she is my PFB and I stupidly feel bad that she grew in me and her eyes are a bit out of line..must be my fault

yodelayheehoo- will consider that, might help

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DeWe · 28/03/2011 20:32

My cousin needed glasses and she was a bit off about wearing them, so my aunt got "nice" cases (Barbie I think) to put them in and a couple of accessories. The result was her friends went home asking if they could have glasses like her.
I think there's a Charlie and Lola episode where Lola wants glasses like a friend and is upset when she's told she doesn't need them.

detoxdiva · 28/03/2011 20:43

Dd was just 5 when she got her glasses this year.

I felt exactly the same as you, although I would never have let on to dd. I have appalling eye sight so was devastated that I had passed this on to her.

In the car on the way from the hospital to the opticians we talked about why all the best people wear glasses . This really seemed to help 'normalise' wearing them for dd, as she had come up with a list of around 20 friends and family who all wear them

At the opticians I let her choose which ones she wanted [brave emoticon!], and she went for a pink pair with Little Miss Sunshine on the arms. I really think that this was crucial in winning her round to wearing them.

We had a little battle for the first few days to get her to wear them. She thought she looked 'silly' but with gentle persuasion she was wearing them brilliantly by the end of the week. They are now just a normal part of her getting dressed routine that I really think she barely notices them anymore.

SpringchickenGoldBrass · 30/03/2011 10:38

You can get perfectly nice NHS specs for DC these days - we are skint so DS always had the free ones but they are a long way from the plastic horrors I remember from my own childhood. Though if you have any spare cash I would recommend getting a spare pair as DC are always trashing their specs, or at least DS was (faceplants, sitting on them, fiddling with them and bending the earpieces....).

Bucharest · 30/03/2011 10:40

Dd has had them for 2 yrs,another long-sighted will probably grow out of it case.
I agree that they are so much prettier now than when I first got my jam-jar bottom monstrosities. Dd's current ones are Garfield!

onesandwichshort · 30/03/2011 10:43

DD has had glasses since she was 3 (final stage of squint correction). We spent a bit of money on some interesting frames, and it was really worth it. So many times we are told 'Oh what lovely glasses!) by shop assistants or librarians, or random old ladies in the street, and it has made such a difference to how she feels about them.

Also, there are very positive episodes of both peppa pig and Charlie and Lola about wearing glasses, so if you can get hold of those, that might also help.

EustaciaVye · 30/03/2011 17:41

You may be surprised. My DD (now 4) has worn glasses for 8 months. She has never once refused to wear them because they do actually help her see better.

She is now wearing patches and they have lovely pictures on - as long as she can choose which picture she is happy.

Your DD is probably well aware that your DH hates wearing his own glasses, whether you have tried to hide your disappointment about her needing them or not. You need to just make a big fuss of how cool she looks let her choose the specs (even if they do have a crap character on the side - spongebob anyone?) ...

nowwearefour · 30/03/2011 17:48

exactly eustacia- my dd was also 4 when she was told she needed to wear them. she did not want them until she put them on and realised how much better she can see with them. now she literally takes them off as her head is on the pillow and puts them off before taking the duvet off her each morning. my dd has mr tickle and just soooo loves them- little sister is v waiting for her 'turn' for glasses!

Lucylu5 · 30/03/2011 18:06

My Dd was the same at 3! Threw herself on the floor in the opt refused to have them and was very upset! Took her away and said we could go back the next day to see again! When sge actually tried them on the next day she decided she loved them!
Now she is 10 she has all the staff line up to help her choose the funkiest pair and really loves getting new ones. Told her she can get lenses like her brother in a couple of years but she (at the moment!) says she is too happy in glasses.
Just take it slowly with your Dd and don't push let her explore them and be incontrol and I'm sure she will end up liking them.
Good luck x

caffinequeen · 31/03/2011 20:28

Detoxdiva is so right, all the best people do wear glasses!

Was coming on to suggest the Charlie & Lola story but see I have been beaten to it. It is called something like 'I absolutely must have glasses' it is also on one of the C & L dvds. Good luck, I hope your DD comes round to the idea of glasses.

DBennett · 31/03/2011 23:06

If anyone is looking for a list of children books featuring glasses wear there is a good list at this website:

littlefoureyes.com/books-for-kids/

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