Dd is overweight - how do I tackle it?

[CeliaFate]

My dd is 10. She's very tall and big boned. She's about 5'3 and weighs about 9 stone. She has a big tummy and has stretch marks. She's always had a big appetite and is always hungry. I encourage her to eat healthy options but I don't want to go down the route of dieting or giving her a complex about her weight.

How do I get her to eat less without making her feel bad?

Stop buying crisps, biccies, processed food etc to keep in the house and blame it on the credit crunch?

SIL did this for dneice when she started to get a bit bigger than she should be.

Also could she try a sport?

Celia - I sympathise, my dd was the same and I really angsted about it but never let her know, just like you I would be giving her healthy options etc but without her realising what I was up to. I have never known what she weighed, ever. I asked her once when she weighed herself and she wouldn't tell me and I never asked her again.

When dd was about 12, the weight started coming off all by itself and with the onset of puberty her body shape formed beautifully and she is now 17, 5.10 and a size 10.

My older sister always tried to tell me it was 'puppy fat' but I wouldn't buy it. She was right though.

So hang on in there, and I know you're doing the right thing by not taking issue about it.

Pile on healthy food - veg, lean meat, complex carbs, so she feels full? Would she like to swim/ horsehide/ dance? Swap from school dinner to packed lunch ( but put a small treat in so she doesn't feel deprived)?

Does she drink lots of fluids? You can try to make her drink more liquid, preferably water, because sometimes our bods get a little confused between thirst and hunger - so we feel hungry when actually dehydrated and in need of a drink. If you get her to drink something* before she eats, it might reduce the amount she needs to feel full.

*- a whole glass of something, not just a sip. Volume also helps to reduce the space for food.

Great that you are trying to be sensitive to her and her relationship with food. To that aim I think you should make sure whatever changes you make are implemented for the whole family, meaning it will be the same for any other children, your dh and you - regardless of what the rest of you weigh. You can increase liquid content and healthy foods, stop stocking bad foods and swap basics with healthier options (whole milk for skimmed milk, butter for light margerine, mayo for light mayo etc). But it's got to be a family thing otherwise she'll feel singled out. Include her in food preparation, that might make her more willing to try healthy food.

Try to do something active on the weekend as a family too if your not already doing that. Go for walks, go for swimming etc etc. She may be on the cusp of puberty which has lead to a quick weight gain and if that's the case she'll most likely loose most of it. It can never be a bad thing to instil good habits though.

I agree with all of the above. My dd has similar problems so we are quietly careful. Her best friend was like this last year and then puberty began and she had a massive growth spurt - she is now a total bean pole. We just try to instill healthy eating habits for everyone and I hide my Maltesers at the back of a high shelf for evenings when she is in bed. She still gets treats but with an element of caution.
It is also an easier time of year to get her out scooting, cycling, trampolining, walking etc without her realising it is a drive to burn off as far as she is concerned. It also fills up time so she can't snack then.

BTW 9 stone is not overweight for 5 ft 3 last time I looked. like here
Encourage her to do exercise she enjoys. Keep lots of healthy (easy) food around, apples etc. Forget to buy the unhealthy stuff.

for the last few yrs I've been on high-dose steroids which have done awful things to my appetite. And in desperation had no idea if it would work or not I've recently started cutting back on carbs, esp processed carbs, in the hope of keeping blood sugar level, eliminating the awful surges of cravings. And it's totally working. More protein (at every meal), no bread, lots of nice vegetables, good fats (no 'diet' products, as they're apparently very processed. Butter better than lowfat spread for eg). And to my atonishment my hunger pangs went, pretty much, overnight. (Plus seem to be shifting the weight.)

So, looking at this from a hungry person's POV I'd say just see if you can't trim quite quietly without telling her her diet of all the food that makes you crave more food. Sugar, sweets, pasta, pots, processed guff, starchy stuff. More meat, eggs, fish, cheese etc.

Celia - I just had a look on the childrens bmi calculator for you and 5ft 3 and 9 stone is bang in the middle of the healthy range for her age.

Not saying you shouldn't follow the excellent advice given on here if you feel 'visually' she looks a little overweight but just wanted to share with you the bmi thing (I know people say its not wholly accurate) in case it made you feel a bit better

ignore me think I entered the wrong year of birth

She won't need to lose weight, but should plateau for a while to grow into the weight she already has.

Can only echo the above the cut out the crap, loads of healthy fruit in the house to snack on, dried fruits, nuts, seeds etc. Healthy cereal (porridge?) for breakfast and up the activites.

What sport or dance is she interested in?

That's just it, she's not interested in sport really. If she does any activiity she gets bored before she's done enough to burn calories. She'll never be a skinny minny, but I'd hate for her to be unhealthy, unfit and a potential bully's victim.

Street dance? Swimming or diving? Trampoline? Martial arts? Judo or summat looks v cool.

will she cycle to and from places?

Not really, as we live rurally it's all country lanes. Great for walking, but I don't cycle as I've got vertigo so I'd have to run/walk behind her!

why do you think she has become overweight celia - because she isn
t very physically active, because she eats big portions, or because she likes to indulge - sweets, crisps or something?

A combination of all 3! I will cut out the goodies from the weekly shop and make it a treat on the weekend. I'm going to reduce her portion sizes and encourage her to go to Zumba. It's all a bit of a battle though as she doesn't want to do any of this herself - that's the hard part.

would she do something together with her best friend? I can understand that not everyone gets excited about sport but some sort of physical activity is a good habit to get into - beyond walking to school. A friend of mine had a dd who was a bit chubby - aged 9 and she signed her up for gymnasics 2x week and the girl is slim now and looks taut as in a bit muscular. My dd wouldn't be any good at gymnastics I don't think so I never tried it, ballet she couldn't stand, can take a bit of trial and error to find something. Depends what is available too.

Some kind of more up to date dance (if it isn't too finicky, they just need to move really, not keep falling over their feet), climbing, don't know ZUmba. Try and get a friend to go along then it is a sociable thing

found out about Zumba, sounds good. Hope she likes it.

1. Less junk food

1. Smaller portions of food

1. Greater physical activity

Could you both sign up for Race for Life and start walking / jogging / running together? Good cause and all that.

I love love love Zumba!

How about serving her meal on a smaller plate, this a great mind trick as you see the plate still being full. Make the biggest serving veges or salad, lesser portions for carbs and protein.

Frozen fruit smoothies for pudding? Do not have ice-cream in the house! It's a shocker.

Great suggestions, thanks all!

don't go too heavy on the dried fruit - it's a lot less healthy than it's made out to be as the sugar is more concentrated and sometimes extra is added. Fresh fruit = much better, although it still has fruit sugar in it, there are other benefits (fruit enzymes, water content etc.)