12mo screems when he poos - sorry a bit long but please read.

[JuliaGulia]

Hi,

I'm really hoping someone can help me - I just don't know what to do.

Since my son was weaned he started having a bit of trouble pooing - nothing serious but it just took alot of effort. sometimes he would only go with his nappy off and someone holding his legs up but we just accepted he was most comfortable that way.

However things have got considerably worse over the last few months. He can be happily playing away and then he gets a 'wave' of wind or cramp and he literally falls to the floor, lays on his back with his back arched and his legs and arms all scrunched up (think birth). And he goes red as a beetroot and screams the house down. You'd think with all the distress, he'd filled his nappy but sometimes it's just a nugget and other times there's nothing there at all. It'll happen on and off for hours or days on end.

What makes it worse is that it frequently wakes him up from his nap and then he's ratty for the rest of the day because he's so tired. Things are a bit trickier because he has a twin sister and I try and make them nap at the same time so when he wakes up screaming after just 10 minutes of nap time, he can't last longer then 2 hours before he's tired again.

So - we've been to the doctors 3 times - the first time they gave him laxatives which he's still on today, the second time they said it's conditional ie. he's taught himself that having a poo hurts so he screams, and at the most recent visit I finally got a referral to see a consultant and we're still waiting for the appointment.

The trouble is I can only describe it to the doctors because it doesn't happen when we're sitting infront of them.

The laxatives are probably helping abit but his poos aren't that hard at all. Certainly his sister produces firmer ones and she just huffs and puffs a bit. It's not like there's a blockage because when we was teething he produced a really loose poo - so we all thought he cleared the back log but within days he was screaming again. It's just so constant - all he can produce is little nuggets all the time so we're having to keep changing his nappy and now his bums starting to get sore.

I feel awful because we can be out shopping and he'll scrunch up and start screaming and everyone looks at me as if I've just done something terrible to him but there is just no way to console him.

My nursery have said they've never seen anything like it and people keep saying 'there's definitely something wrong with him' and looking at me but I just don't know what to say/do. He's putting on the right amount of weight for this age, he eats lots of healthy things - but it just makes him so unhappy because he's either screaming in what appears to be pain or he's crying because he's tired.

Please please can someone help me - I feel like an awful mother watching her child in pain but nothing seems to make it any better :(

JuliaGulia

Firstly you're not a terrible mum, but I know how you feel. I've been there with the nuggets and the screaming and the sore bum. It is very upsetting.

Have you tried prunes? I tried all sorts. Things work for a couple of days and then everything goes back go how it was. I'm still struggling to some extent but it has kind if been manageable since she stopped having Ready Brek for breakfast.

My niece ended up going to a homeopath and that did the trick. I know they're expensive, but if you have the budget it may be worth a try. I'm typing this on my phone so I hope it makes sense.

*kind of

if he's only producing nuggets then he IS constipated, and it isn't just conditional, i'd have said (though i am no expert!)

loose poos could merely be seepage around a blockage further up.
or like you say, maybe it all clears and then he gets bunged up again

tbh i would maybe think about food allergies if this started when he was weaned.
was/is he formula fed or breastfed?

milk is a common allergen and could cause these symptoms, as is egg.

or, he could just be prone to constipation, my first son was, although not this bad
we found that weetabix made him really, really bad. in fact, any really high fibre cereal does it. also bananas.
it might be worth keeping a food diary to see if anything seems to make it worse

dd (13mo) had pretty much exactly the same thing when I tried to switch her to cows milk, been fine since I switched her back to formula. Could it be something like a change of milk type/brand?

Weetabix is terrible for my DD too

Thank you all for your responses. I'm really grateful.

As he's a twin he was pretty much formula fed from birth. We didn't start weaning til 24 weeks and that felt like the right time. He does have oats so simple or baby porridge for breakfast and the nursery add stewed prunes to this to help ease things out.

He's stayed on aptimil first milk since birth and in the last couple of days we've started to do half and half formula/cows milk but the screaming been going on much longer than that so I'm sure that's not the main problem.

I will try and keep a food diary. It could well be an allergy - or someone else suggested IBS to me. My husband has it and they said it can be hereditary :(

I do wonder if he's constipated but about once a week he produces something about as long as his leg(!) - with a whole lot os screaming to go with it so it does come out eventually. It just seems to take everyone once of his strength to produce anything at all.

I feel so sorry for him, he must be totally knackered from constantly pushing and crying. I'm prepared to give anything a go.

JG

Hello

You are definitely not a bad mum ! My daughter had the exact same problems . I thought I was the only one whose child suffered whilst doing a poo until I came across a few mums at my work place and now yourself on here !
My daughter was about 4 months when she started screaming whilst pooing. She would tense her body up, go bright purple in the face,stretch her legs out in front of her but keep her legs firmly together and even after what I thought was a lot of straining and pushing , either a pebble or two came out or like you said sometimes nothing !
I was puzzled , so I did everything you have done. I made sure she was eating fruit and veg , drinking loads of fluids. I went to the dr and she was put on lactolose, which made helped a bit but she wasn't constipated so just made her poos really runny and her bum red. After lots of people seeing how my daughter screamed and reacted when having a poo, I got the comments of " there's something not right !" "maybe something I'd not right with her insides ? ". Of course then I had the same thoughts as you, I'm a bad mum !

I visited the drs again when my daughter was 1year old. I got a referral for a bowel biopsy to rule out anything serious.everything came back fine? So still a mystery as to what it was.

My lo is now nearly 2. The screaming episodes have reduced some what. I believe this is due to the fact that My lo has a better understanding of what's happening to her body when having a poo .I constantly encourage her whilst she is trying to go and try and make it a happy experience for her and it's beginning to work !
I dont know if maybe one day when she was young she was constipated and she remembers the pain when pooing and didn't want to repeat it or maybe it was a horrible memory in her head of Pain when pooing ? I'm not sure but every mum I've spoke to who has a child who has experienced this says it gradually in time gets better .
Stick with it and just take each day as it comes ,remember your not a bad mum cos if you was you wouldn't be on this website asking for help !

Good luck
Xx

We had something very similar with DS at that age some years ago

Has he been checked for any minor tears that are sore - may bd even internal?

Our DS had months of lactulose and dr insisted problem was v

Sorry posted too early...

Dr insisted was constipation so we gave DS lots of fresh orange juice plus lactulose to resolve that and used anusol to deal with any soreness and it did improve pretty quickly - no lasting issues either

Suggest you go back to gp and see if there is a tear or fissure and ask for more help re possible constipation too....

Interestingly, DS was ff from 8 weeks on aptamil.... And also had eczema which improved when dairy etc were reduced as part of strategy for constipation..... Not sure if that is also relevant

Try videoing him when he does it so the doctors can see.

Yes, I'm thinking of filming him but when he's crying so badly my first thought it always to comfort him. Given that he cries even before anything comes out I'm wondering if it's a tear or something higher up that just wont heal. Poor thing : (

Thank you all very much for your responses. You've definitely given me some reassurance.

is he hanging on to the poo, because its so painful?

is he screaming , but passing normal poo?

was he ok just on formula milk?

milk intolerence can be in the bowel. often doctors describe it as red face , red bum, in a baby.

if its milk intolerence, the protein irritates the inner lining of the anus, as the poo passes through.
the screaming is due to extreme pain, as there are more nerve endings in the bowel than the brain.

you could try a partially changed or fully protein changed formula instead of normal milk, for at least 6 weeks to see if that changes things.

go to gp and ask if this is possible.
good luck.