Small baby, lots of worry

[whattoexpect]

I am new to this site but I am not feeling very good in myself and thought someone may be able to offer support. Please bear with me. A longish post.

I gave birth to my first son 9 weeks ago. He was 5lb 7oz - just under the 2500grm low baby weight threshold. Birth was great, he is beautiful. No health issues at all for him. Midwife said everything was fine, then wrote 'undiagnosed IUGR' on the release form. I questioned this with other midwives at the hospital who said ignore it, they would never have written that; it was because she had to.

In the 9 weeks since we've been home, no one has ever bought it up. Not paeds in hospital, not health visitors etc, not GP who said she could see nothing which gave her concern for his health.

However. He was sick. He had pyloric stenosis. It meant he didn't thrive and is only now catching up. He's put on 30oz in three weeks (!!!) which is wonderful and everyone is happy. But his height is still on the lowest percentile.

I think I have a touch of post natal depression, because all of this combined makes me incredibly anxious about his health. I've become mildly obsessed with the idea that he's not going to grow, that he did have IUGR, and is not just a small baby, and that he's going to have developmental issues.
I know it's irrational. He's developing well - very alert, smiley, great eye contact, very chilled, sleeping so well and feeding brilliantly. Lovely, lovely man. And neither me nor my husband are big - I'm 5ft 1' and my husband is 5ft 8' and we were tiny babies as were our families.

But the head doesn't always work rationally and I fear that I'm ruining this time for myself and baby with all this worry. I've been to see doctor about it and she said she'll keep an eye. She said seeing my baby have an operation very young after intense illness is very traumatic and bound to lead to this.

Anyway, I don't know what I want to hear, just that it will all be okay I suppose.

Meh, if anecdotes are any reassurance...a friend (Vietnamese origins) has 3 DC, one was preterm at 4.5 lbs, but the biggest of the full-termers was 5lbs.
They are all lovely nice "normal" kids now (age 3-12), no "issues". Mom is small, Dad isn't big, the kids are just not meant to be very big.

I had 2 babies nearly 9lbs at birth who they had speech delay. Numbers aren't everything.

Pyloric stenosis, friend's DS had that, needed operating to fix it. No wonder you're stressed, it's quite a nasty condition, isn't it?

Her DS is now almost 19yo and over 6' tall; eats for England (and no particular other developmental "issues").

Hello Whatto

Pixie is right, if you are on the 1st centile - that means the first centile of NORMAL weight or height range. That doesn't include all of those that hover above and below the top and bottom lines, who i think make up about 1% of the population. My DS1 was born 13 yrs ago weighing 4lb 10oz and they said he was IUGR afterwards. He failed to thrive and if he had put on 30 oz in weight I would have been cock a hoop. But the feelings you are experiencing are exactly how I felt. He dropped below (a long way below )the 0.4th centile and stayed there for years - but that is a whole different story). But your son sounds as if he is solidly within the normal range to me - esoecially for a chap who has had to have surgery and recover, and given his parental height. Little babies are just lovely, try to get over your worries and enjoy him. I went on to have 2 other sons - neither huge, but both 6lb ish and they grew so quickly. I would love to have those first 6 months back with DS1 - because I just worried them away.

DS1 was 5lb 9 when born (I was told a wee/poo would have made all the difference as to whether he was classed as low birthweight). He was born at 42 weeks and no one could explain why he was tiny. Apart from intial feeding/weight gain issues (I tried to BF but he jut didn't gain enough so ended up FF - we were re-admitted to hospital as we went to 4lb 130z)which were stressful he's thrived - he's now 4.8 and started school - he's average height but a skinny little thing even though he eats well. No one could explain why he was small as big babies run in both sides of the family- DH was a ten pounder!! The only thing is that all the men on DH's side are on the lean and skinny side. Be kind to yourself I found it very stressful and I didn't have the additional worry of the stenosis. The little ones turn into little power packs of energy!!!

Thank you all. Such supportive replies. I know that I need to enjoy him - that's my biggest concern is that I fret away these months when he's a gorgeous newborn. He's going to be my own child, too, so even more so.

I have told my GP about my feelings and she said she'll see me whenever I need, so I feel I have that support if I need it.

Thank you.

I'm not sure how to help, but send big hugs. Things will get easier for you.

I have been there and know what you are going through. My daughter was IUGR, 4lbs 6 at term. She did hit developmental milestones late. - walked at 17 months, talked at 3.5 years old, but now is spot on where she should be.

Her growth did not catch up until she was about 2-3 years and is now on 50th percentile for height and weight.

I would say try not to worry but it is hard due to shock of birth.

hi there, it is horrible seeing them ill and having to go in for an operation isn't it? My DS was in hospital for 6 weeks as a little baby and also needed a major operation. He was also a long awaited (possible..) only. It is very difficult not to worry but it does get better and better x.