My son refused his anaesthetic today[shock]

[maltesers]

You may have read on previous threads how my Ds (10yrs) was due to have a minor operation (Circumcision) today. (early morning basically)
We arrived at 7.30am, then were finally told that the anaesthetist was very busy so we had to wait till 2pm.
When we got to the anaesthetic room he got really scared and no matter what was said or done, he flatly refused to be put to sleep. He refused the gas mask, and the canulla in the back of his hand. . .20 mins later the doctors there siad they would have to leave it.
I was gutted , but son was relieved. I was just so upset that the operation had not gone ahead, and to have got that far.. . .
The build up to this day in my mind was great.
DS did say to the doctors "I'm really sorry" and they were very sweet about it. Then he said the same to me. . .ah, bless and i told him no one was to blame. I said I could understand he was scared. So here we are back home and nothing had been done.
Your thoughts and support mnetters, i would appreciate.
My nerves are still in shreds.. . .its was so stressful and just awful!

So sorry to hear this. It must have been so stressful for you, especially as you would have been anxious about it for a while on his behalf.
I hope he is not in too much pain

Hi
Your son obviously needs the circumcision, presumably for a tight foreskin...so he's going to have to have it somehow. As he is old enough to have a say in decisions made about such things and clearly understands why he needs the circumcision, then why can't he have the operation with just a local anaesthetic? A circumcision is a minor op and can be done with local anaesthetic. If he is worried about going under general anaesthetic then it seems like a sensible solution to me.

Sorry to read this maltesers. Pretty traumatic for you both. Personally I think they should put the cannula in before they go to the anaesthetic room - it's just too much stress to do it there. I did take this up with theatre staff some years ago when they couldn't get the cannual into my dd and we spent probably 30 minutes with hot cloths trying to sort it out whilst she got more stressed and periphally shutdown by the minute. And themask is horric so I don't blame him for refusing that one bit.

I suppose you have to go back and do it all again at some point?

Oh dear! What a horrible day for you both, in an unexpected way.

I expect they will offer valium or something similar when it's rebooked.

Sorry you had such a rubbish day did he not have a pre med ??? If you decide to try again ask them for a pre med where I work it's not given routinely but for anxious children it is a god send !! Also don't think any surgeon would perform a circ with a local it would be awfull to give the local and not many ten yr olds would lie still enough !

thank you for your responses.
I am stil so tearful today and really upset about the whole thing.
Yes, an oral premed on the ward next time to relax him and i am going to ask the consultant especially if he can make an exception and put the canulla into his hand on the ward where the atmosphere is more relaxed. He was so scared its made me very tearful. I took him into school today and every teacher I saw and spoke to to explain why he was in school I just ended up in tears again. . .so embarrassing. I did explain he has been through a lot of surgery when younger and had 9 anaesthetics . So hope they understand why he chickened out.

He has said today and last night "Mummy, I really want to have this operation". . .
I am glad he has this attitude and as its almost like we are half way there.. . . . .sob, sob,
Sorry to emotional. . . .I just cant stop crying as i write this. . .

Oh . It's so hard isn't it? I think that's a really difficult age to be having surgery maltesers. They know enough to know it's something to be nervous of. He's had other surgery hasn't he? (I'm an oldie in new clothes) Has he had bad experiences before?

Oh you poor things, both of you. This is making me well up.

He sounds like a great kid, btw, talking to you about it and having such a lovely attitude despite being shit scared.

Yes, he has, when he was put to sleep aged 4yrs he fought and kicked and screamed and we had to hold him down. . its was awful. . .i think he remembers that .
Even all the anesth . as a toddler in deep in his memory and have left a mark there.. . .he never never talks about it , but I guess its there.

i'm surprised they didn't give him a pre-med beforehand anyway tbh, it's bound to be really scary for a child being in that environment, and perhaps even more so when you know what they're about to do!

hope next time goes a bit smoother.

He probably does remember the feeling of it but not necessarily the specifics. dd has very vivid recollections of one of her hospital stays when she was 3. What she remembers didn't actually happen but it's obviously her 3 year-old interpretation of it. I think having the cannula in on the ward is a much better plan. More relaxing all round - even the smell of the anaesthetic room puts me on edge.

Dear Malteser. This is coming from an anaesthetist which I don' t often admit on here & will now have to change my username!

PUtting cannulas in on the ward is not really a solution for us as we have to leave and interrupt theatre lists.

The cannulas often don' t last very long when left to wee hands.

As for the suggestion of having it done under local: if this wee man does not want a cannula/ mask, do you think he will allow a surgeon to touch his nether regions with a needle while wide awake? Ask men who have had vasectomies under 'local' about their experience.

I think you are right that he probably remembers his previous experience and that influences matters- consciously/ otherwise.

I agree with a previous poster that a premed could do wonders. Some feel this is just 'pharmacological' restraint but it takes the edge of things and probably will do the trick.

Finally: the delay, having been there early & left waiting: not ideal at all. There probably was a valid clinical reason but it added to anxieties.

Best of luck for next time. Lots of cuddles in the meantime will have to do! Hope this helps.

Please don't take this the wrong way, but the next time it would probably be better if somebody else was there as well or possibly instead of you. Somebody who isn't quite as anxious and 'emotional'. I always take one of my sisters with me, as I can't do these things on my own.

Pugh - would the actual anaesthetist have to put the cannula in on the ward?

Thank you folk for your kind input.
There is not chance of me concidering a local for circumcision , at least not for a boy of 10yrs.
Also thanks PUGH for your correct spelling of Cannulas.
(ignoramous here !!)

I think the premed will be the route forward and plenty of magic cream on both hands.

I am pondering over whether i should let Dad come to hospital on the next 'Event". . . .we are separated and cant stand him around. . .but may have to for sake of DS.

Ds's foreskin is so tight , but with no scarring , no infections and no ballooning on urination. We can hang on, but I dont think we should wait till he is a teenager.

I am concidering a lady I spoke to today who does Hypnotherapy on adults, but also is wanting to branch out and do children too. She also does it on her own children, she says and for phoebias it very successful.

Absolutely not if you don't get on with his father. It would create more tension which would be passed onto your son - you need somebody who would lessen tension!

Yeah, you could be right earwicga. . .just trying to think of what might help. . I just felt as a single mum without my dp (not father of DS) there i was coping on my own, and when it all went tits up i felt i needed some support.
Ex prob not good idea then.. . .he has anger issues and a bit of a twit.

Maltesers - DS has had many, many operations. At our local hospital they put the cannula in on the ward - usually a junior doctor does them and they are not always very good. Because DS has awkward veins (and also because he knows what the magic ream is all about and gets anxious) we usually ask the anaesthetist to knock him out with the mask and put the cannula in afterwards; don't know if this would help?

Thanks for your response starfish.
I think the cannula on the ward might be our best option.
He hated the smell of the mask.

Maltesers
Really feel for you - DS has been through many surgeries and it's so stressful for everyone.
He says he doesn't want any more operations ever!
The premed has to be the way to go - and maybe have someone with you who is calmer with the whole thing - I fall apart so I really know where you're coming from.
Hope you're able to get it sorted soon.

I stayed so together the whole way through the day and was very reassuring telling Ds he had nothing to worry about. It was only after the upset of the anaesthetic roo, incident that i finally broke down and cried. I just told Ds i was sad because I didnt like to see him so upset.

Thanks for your input ajandjjmum....its nice to hear there are other people who have gone through similar.

Hi, agree that cannula on the ward is a better option. As long as you keep an eye on him that he doesn't pull it out that is. DD had a cannula for over a week, so it is not that they only stay in for a short time, but if they do pull it out it is possible that the next potential site is more difficult and therefore it maybe more traumatic to insert a cannula again. Hope you find a workable solution for both of you.

My dd had to have an op - snotty nurses advised me "no, we don't do pre ops" - I had gone to ask out of DD's hearing.....
After they saw how she freaked out about the bloody EMLA cream (will I ever feel my hand again? why does it need to be numb?" etc etc) - she was offered one. She wouldnt take it til i tried it ........ ick.
Still had to physically hold her down while she screamed hysterically....... but it meant we got there.
Pre med pre med pre med. Poor boy :(