Link Between Infant Feeding Difficulties and Those of My 7 Year Old

[JohFlow]

Think I am looking for support from others in a similar situation or for some advice from others of a more medical nature..

Is it possible that problems with infant weaning can leave memories that haunt older children?

My son is 7 now. He has always had problems with eating. He was a superbly sicky child and eventually after 18 months (of sleep deprivation and dissatisfaction) a senior health visitor (HV) stepped in and pushed a referral to the hospital dietetics department. Diagnosis - multiple food allergies. Treatment - specialised milk and food substitutes. Weaning could then start properly. The intervention was a relief but I have to say that it was not before time and I had been into the GPs a number of times before and sent away with advice on burping etc. (as if!) I am a little loathed to approach the GP again; but will do for my son if needed.

We try to give him a balanced diet and have tried as many creative ways to get him to eat as we can muster - e.g. reward, punishment, play, being involved in cooking/preparing etc. Mealtimes are stressful (internally) although we try to make it light-hearted.

A typical meal will take 2 hours and he will not have eaten a minimal amount that I would want him to in that time. We have a raft of toilet visits, drink requests, pushing food around the plate, complaining, excuses - some are quite interesting (hehe). But at the end of the day- if he won't eat; he won't eat.

I am unsure whether his problems are behavioural, emotional or physical around eating. In all other aspects he appears a well-rounded, well-behaved child. My thoughts are that he is in some way fearful that food will make him sick. Hence my question at the beginning.

My next step will be the GP. But support would be appreciated. As every parent who has a kid that does not eat knows - this can be heart-breaking.

Take care all - Joh

Not medical - just support! I have 3 DS. All have intolerances - 2 dairy, 1 fructose and sucrose. DS1 weaned like a dream at 4 mths (the advice then!). He loves his food big time. DS2 seemed to wean ok - 6 mths, but had really obvious likes and dislikes. He eats in a similar way now - really obvious likes and dislikes, with excuses as well! DS3 is a different case. He has swallowing issues - lots of vomiting - often sent away from GP/HV - nobody was particularly interested. DS is now 3. Still on puree, with a few dissolvable finger foods. He is now not growing. Dropped from off the height chart to just below the 50th centile in the last year. Now interest has started to pick up. I am now in a position of not knowing how much of his not swallowing is in his mind, and how much is actually physical. How can we 'unlearn' this behaviour.
Like you - i would like to know what the NHS inertia at the time when issues were pointed out has affected future behaviours.
Unfortunately, if the GP has changed little since his excellent advice on burping - a 7 year old should appreciate that now! - i do not know how much help they will be. If your DS is healthy in all other aspects and has an acceptable height weight ratio i would imagine the GP's hands will be tied - particularly in this economic climate. The dietician that DS3 sees told me that there is such stringent criteria for referral now, that only those that are failing to thrive or in imminent danger can be seen.
That sounded all really unsupportive - it was not meant to be. It was meant to be that there are many people in your situation and we do understand how frustrating it is when all you want to do is the best for your DC with little or no professional support.

Hi Auntevil,

Many thanks for your reply. I did find your words supportive and I empathise with many aspects of your situation. Sometimes it can be very isolating struggling with these issues singularly. Keep up the good work! Your story shows how similar dietary problems can create a range of reactions from different children. Your efforts have ensured that two of your children are eating. Are you satisfied with the intervention for DS3? We have had the difficulty swallowing thing too. I am not a doctor; but swallowing is a voluntary action and so in a way I hope that any problems can be 'unlearnt'. Will you let me know if you find any advice that helps in this area?

I struggle with the gap between what we want as mothers (to prevent ill health in our children) and the threshold that only intervenes in near-emergency situations. What about supporting parents to deal with problems early - surely that makes medical and financial sense!!

In answer to your question; the same HV that ensured our hospital referral; raised a concern about my son's height and weight and asked us to re-visit our GP in 6 months. I am not sure what an acceptable height and weight for this age would be - maybe something for me to research beforehand.

I am not sure how old your other two are; but something also to bear in mind... children receive 'extra' ideas about food when they get to school. We were doing ok until talks about healthy eating/lifestyle started at school. I am sure this was delivered in a supportive/pastoral way; in line with the curriculum. But it introduced extra 'fussynesses' when he was already on a restricted diet. He also has concerns about if he is going to 'get fat' which is something that has never been on the agenda at home. Due to his age and genetics; I am pretty sure that he could eat like a horse and put on very little extra weight.

Yes I am sure there are many others in a similar situation to ours and I await further comment. Please stay in touch.

Take care

Hi JohFlow
"
I struggle with the gap between what we want as mothers (to prevent ill health in our children) and the threshold that only intervenes in near-emergency situations. What about supporting parents to deal with problems early - surely that makes medical and financial sense!!"

I could have written that myself!

DSs are 7, 5 and 3 and yes, school and peer pressure have both helped and hindered with foods!

Did you get a book at birth with your DS's height and weight in it? it has different centiles for height, weight and head circumference? I know they are updating it, but it gives a rough idea of whether height and weight are in the same ball park. There is an NHS website that does BMI for children as well. It is very exact. I put in the details for each of mine from their last hospital visit. The first time i rounded up/down in cm and kg. I got a surprisingly altered BMI % when i did the exact figures. It might give you an idea as to whether there is anything that the GP is probably now allowed to do. If your DS appears - even if skinny - to be a healthy weight, their hands are becoming more and more tied as to who they can refer you to. It might be worth discussing the emotional/psychological aspects with GP as he can't have a 'fixed' notion of whether your DS meets the criteria.
As for DS3, i think your statement about intervention and cost effectiveness says it all. If the NHS had of taken the non swallowing issues seriously at age 1 - another of their cut off points for eating - and got to the root of the problem, we might not have the same situation more than 2 years later. Strangely, this morning he chose rice crisps for breakfast. As they are quite large lumps i thought he wouldn't go for it. I gave him a bowl of them, then carried on with what i was doing so as not to stare. Several moments of gagging and vomiting later, he pushed the bowl away and asked for porridge! As i always explain to the medical profession - it's not for want of trying.

Good luck to you too [hsmile]

we had lots of weight issues and problems with our allergic child. (ofr e.g eating tablespoons of food at 4 yrs.)

he is still, as a teen , underweight, but does grow up.iyswm

my other children have no food allergies at all, and do not have any problems with food, other than being a little on the porky side...

so we have lots of problems at both ends of the scale.

my son eats a lot of food now, but doesnt put weight on. no signs of intolerance, is healthy, and still avoids his food allergies.

Hi Auntevil,

Hope you are well.

Yes I remember 'the red book' and the centile charts - was not sure whether they went up to 7 years. Definitely worth a check; as is the NHS website - so many thanks for those suggestions.

Bless DS3. I think the moments when they voluntarily decide to 'be brave' and try something new are truly golden!! Persistance is everything but it is always a bonus when they help us out too!

If you celebrate halloween; enjoy!

Take care,
Joh

Hi Eragon,

Thank you for your reply.

Its always nice to hear from people that have supported children throughout the growth process - and with a measure of success. So what tips can you share that really worked along the way?

I try to be optimistic and tell myself that maybe my son is not meant to eat like other children; but he will still get to the same place eventually. I think your story also demonstrates this 'light at the end of the tunnel'.

What you say about him being underweight as an young adult is interesting. Everyone that I know that has long-term food allergies is generally slighter that average. Does he have very little muscle tissue too?

Hope to here from you again soon.
Take care,
JohFlow