DD picks and bites the skin around her nails and on her fingers until it pours with blood...

[ElizabethWakefield]

It looks so bad and it must be so sore (although she claims it isn't) and one of her fingers is out in a lump too. Every finger on every hand is a mess. One is currently bleeding.

I have tried to stop her, distracting her, telling her to take her hand out of her mouth, stop and grow to make her fingers taste bad, nothing works.

It is just pure habit, not because she is upset or anything and a lot of the time she doesn't know she is doing it.

Any tips that we might not have tried or thought of?

Please help save my DD's fingers, please!

I do this too Worse when I'm anxious, but it also does feel nice. It is just a nasty habit. I think distraction would be the way forward, activities such as watching TV with the hands free is just an open invitation to pick!

Sorry, I am 37 and still do this [shocked]

How old is she? Try viel tasting 'Stop and Gro' - helped a bit when I was weeny. Might help break the habit?

DH does it too. No advice, but sympathy. Drives me mad.

I was too embarrassed to post, but seeing as we're all opening up - My name is MarionCole, I'm 38 and still I chew/pick my fingers. Stop and Grow stops the chewing but nothing can stop the picking.

i do it too, i like it it's nice

I've done this all my life. Plasters on my fingers is the only thing that stops me. And also sometimes when I look at them and feel thoroughly disgusted at the state of them

Actually, I tell you what does help me, making sure my hands are well moisurised. It's worse if my hands are dry, there's more to pick at!

Thanks all for sharing! Even tho you haven't really filled me with much hope!

She isn't worried or nervous or anything, I genuinely think it is just a habit. We were on holiday with friends this summer for 2 weeks and one of my friends has a total nail obsession, he likes nails to look nice and be clean and everything, and he was totally horrified at DD and could honestly spot her hand going to her mouth before she even knew she was doing it, so now every time we see him she gets her nails inspected and a talking to...she just rolls her eyes!!

She uses stop and grow most days, but she seems to have become quite fond of the taste now

The thing is she does actually like nice nails and does paint them and stuff, but she just can't seem to stop.

I could never get her to wear a plaster around every finger they would be off the minute she was out of sight.

She has asked me to take her to the dr, but i don't think they would be able to do anything.

I've tried chewing gum, she then wraps the gum around her fingers when they bleed to stop it [sigh] and I have banned all putty type stuff after she ruined my sofa with it, but thanks for the suggestions.

I will buy her a hand moisturiser of her own tomorrow and tell her to use it often, see it that helps.

She is nearly 10, btw.

Monthly manicure? She might be so embarrassed at technician seeing her fingers she'll stop. I am constantly mortified by mine!

me too!

I do think it's a subconscious thing in that it happens more at times when I have a lot to deal with. I am a bit prone to anxiety - I realise at the age of 35 - and my hands look better when i'm on holiday/off work etc.

Looking back, I didn't know how anxious I was, or that what I was feeling even was anxiety, so at the age of 10, I wouldn't expect her to be able to articulate why she does it.

And yes, picking, poking and peeling skin is quite, er, satisfying

Listen to her, if she asked you to go to the doctor, do it, it means she wants to do something against that habit.
Search nasty looking hands on the internet, and then lovely ones, and tell her she has to work for it, it is difficult like quitting smoking but it can be done.

How old is your DD?

Like missmoopy, I think that a manicure treat is a great idea and motivation.
Book one and say that you'll cancel if her nails/fingers aren't looking too good and give her another couple of weeks.

I do it myself and have to buy expensive hand cream to help motivate me

I did have to go to hospital aged about 7 with an infected finger from picking. It went yellow then black and had to be drained.
That didn't stop me though.

The only thing that did for about twenty years was that I developed a crush on a young man on holiday whose wife had beautiful fingernails (I was 9, he was about 30!).
The mind is a strange thing indeed.

Forgot to say, I have reverted back to this habit and try to go one day (at a time)without doing it.

Within a week it's amazing the difference it makes.After a week they're almost back to normal so it doesn't take long to heal.

If its a bad habit like smoking, then perhaps hypnotherapy might help her

No advice, I do this too, well I don't chew or put my fingers in my mouth but constantly pick with my nails. It's strangely comforting and feels nice . If I could afford manicures it might make me stop because I wouldn't want to mess up the good work. May look into this as it's a weird habit.

Thanks all for the replies (and sharing more of your picking habits )

I might use the manicure as a bribe, to see if that will help. It is her 10th birthday next month, so I might suggest if she can try to leave her fingers alone until then and there is a bit of an improvement, that she can get her nails done for her party.

Morag, that is what I am worried about, her fingers becoming infected, I am sure sometimes she can't be far away from it. Especially this week, she had bleeding fingers, then was digging up carrots in the school garden, she was coming home with her cut bits still caked in dirt, but still biting them...aaaarrrggghh!!

Re asking to go to the Dr, this is not a serious request from her, she just thinks saying this will keep me quiet and stop me going on at her.

I bought a product yesterday called called nail the habit which seems to be a bit like stop n grow, but you just dip your finger in, rather than paint on the nail, so it is covering the whole area she bites, so will try that too. It seems to taste a bit worse (I stupidly spilt some on my hands ) so maybe that combined with the promise of nice nails for her birthday party will help.

It does help to put nice cuticle cream on 3 times a day, lush do a lovely lemony balm. It is far less satisfying picking soft moisturised skin.