Help! DS 9 overweight!

[Solo2]

DS - one of twins - aged 9 falls within the overweight category on the NHS BMI calculator. This comes as a surprise/shock to me .

He looks a little plump but in April, the last time he was weighed and height measured as part of a NHS appointment about something else, he was, as usual, exactly in the middle of the average weight and height category.

So he must have rapidly put on weight in recent months. He's 4ft 4.5ins and weighs 5st 5lbs. This puts him well into the centre of the overweight category. But he doesn't really look fat - just slightly plump.

I fall within the very slightly overwiehgt category myself but according to these results, I'm not as overweight as my DS. His twin brother is in the lower end of normal and is taller and a lot slimmer (more like the father's side of the family - who is not in our lives).

What should I do about this? Should I cut down his food immediately? Should I take him to the GP? Should I enforce daily exercise - as he's sedentary in nature but does 4 to 5 periods of sport at school and does a riding lesson each week at home?

My shock is really because he doesn't look that fat - but carries lots of the weight, as I do - around his hips/ bottom and thighs - and also, none of the nieces and nephews are at all overweight and most are actually slim. I've only ever been slightly overweight and the battle has become harder, after having twins at 38 and probably being perimenopausal now at 47. I never expected to let one of my children become fat.

Who else is facing something similar and what did you do??? - bearing in mind that DS2 has v fixed ideas about what he eats (mild Asperger's traits make him rather obsessional) and a change in diet will be a colossal thing for him - albeit necessary, I think?

Meh, DS came out as 84th %tile according to school weighing program, but I calculated his BMI as 94th %tile -- I think they are hedging their best as part of school program to only pick up the indisputably too fat. Are you sure about your numbers? Doesn't he look pudgy in a swimming costume, at least?

I was kind of shocked, neverthless, my other 3 DC are skinny minnies and DH & are both pretty slender, too.

Good news is: In last 2 months DS slimmed down (to very "normal" body size, now just over 6yo).
I think at this age you try to enforce all the good habits that you want them to have for life. Meanwhile, on the side you offer reduced portion sizes, especially fatty foods, and otherwise reduce fat and calories in small ways... like making porridge with half water instead of all milk, getting him to drink water rather than juice, watching out for hidden sugars and fats. Some crisps are lower fat than others, too. And otherwise increase his activity levels a bit.

My cousin was always a fat kid and became a super fit and handsome trim adult, you'd never have expected it.
hth.

Yes, he looks a little pudgy but there are about 3 or 4 children at school in his year of 72 altogether who are clearly fat and he's not one of them. So I assumed he was just plump and growing.

He's got my shape - ie he goes in a bit at the waist and out at the hips and he also has ox-like strong shoulders - bit like a body builder in shape really - but softer all round. I assumed it would just eventually turn into muscle as he got older.

They haven't been weighed at school recently but he's always been Mr Average in weight and height all his life. I was reading another MN thread here and saw the BMI NHS calculator and thought it'd be fun to give it a go - So I weighed and measured the twins and this was the result!

I checked the BMI thing and it looks like if he were 5 stone instead of 5 st 5lbs, he'd be well in the OK average range. Maybe I should re-weigh him tomorrow morning too, as I tend to put on about 3 pounds during the day....

Maybe he and I should go on a fitness drive and lose a bit of weight and get fitter physically too? I range between slightly overweight and absolutely fine if I restrict my eating rigorously to only the healthiest things.

His twin eats less naturally, as he's incredibly bean-pole shaped and moves around a lot more, even when sitting still and also prefers healthier foods since birth. All of this proves to me that genetics come into weight and shape so much...but i must do something. I'm just not sure if we should go to the GP first and foremost or just try to help him myself?

It might be too much pressure to take him to GP just yet, that's just how my DS would take it. And it's only 5 lbs in it. But maybe talk to GP on your own without him, about how to get you & him healthier.

I'd not make a big deal of comparing him to his twin, just make it sound like you want everybody in the family to adopt healthier living habits.

Honestly, I wouldn't get too worried. You are obviously very astute to his health and his eating habits, which is good, but please don't let it stress you out, because over time it would probably just give you and him a weight/food complex (much harder to tackle than carrying just a teeny bit of weight).

The advice generally for mildly overweight children - and it sounds as if your son is only borderline - is to focus on maintaining their weight and let them grow in to it so that their BMI gradually decreases to normal. To be honest I think that this is one of the most logical and sensible guidelines that has come from the NHS!

If you very subtly cut a few calories from his diet he won't notice, I'm sure. As ragged suggested, simple things like cutting juice intake are often enough. I'd suggest reducing the portions he eats of things like rice, potatoes etc, by no more than about 10% (a couple of cereal spoons worth?) so it's not obvious at all, and encourage him to drink water before eating a snack to see if he is really just thirsty. How would you feel about listing what he eats typically so we could see if there are any areas that might be improved. From what you've said though, it doesn't sound as if he overeats by much.

Massive reductions in calories and healthy fats (such as the ones from fish, cheese) are are mistake at his age as they still need them for proper growth and for brain development.
The small changes like above over the course of a day would take about 1-200 calories out so that stops gaining weight and just continues to get nice and tall. I bet he'll be strapping but healthy in no time

That's v reassuring Smash09 and sort of what I was thinking.

During the 9 week school hols, his diet has included more snacks/ chocolate and crisps plus the odd ice cream and lunches have been sandwiches (as he's been at a lot of children's clubs and activities or out on picnics with his twin and I). I don't think this has helped much.

Typically, he is obsessively rigid in what and how he eats. So his default for bkfast everyday is a pain au chocolat. He drinks Coppela Apple and Elderflower juice - lots of it. He's never accepted water to drink, unfortunately.

Then, during the hols, he'll typically have a M & S sandwich pack eg a Club sandwich or cheese and celery and a small bar of chocolate plus more juice - eg apple or fresh orange. Then at home he'll have something like breaded fish or chicken (won't eat unbreaded anything) with basmati rice (he loves rice) and some veg., usually with soya sauce on the rice and ketchup everywhere. Then he might end the day with a few grapes and an icecream...

Doesn't sound that good really....Both my twins are v v fussy eaters and I usually make two different meals for each of them and a different one again for me (I'm a vegetarian).

In term time, he'll have a cooked school meal during the day or bread and cheese, as he often doesn't like the cooked option. I also think he eats much larger portions at school and always has a pudding there too. Then he'll come home and have a supper similar to above.

He'll tolerate many fruit and veg, (his twin won't) but he has constant loose stools and poos about 5 times a day on a normal daily basis (I imagine he might have some mild food intolerance but it's never been deemed worth investigating by the GP). So I try not to give him too much fruit or veg.

Generally, he'll eat what his mind tells him to eat rather than listens to his tummy - whereas his twin is the exact opposite and will often not finish a choc. bar in the middle of eating it, if his tummy says he's full.

I can fairly easily cut down his portions and reduce the daily intake of less healthy foods to every few days/ once a week - although he'll complain and say he's hungry, I'm sure.

He often has a distended tummy and wind - poor thing - and I wonder if he regularly overeats because he doesn't 'get' the messages his body gives him about being full. He's a bit unaware of physical things, as are some people with Asperger's.

Probably, like me, he should cut down on carbs especially bread/pastries etc. and also the sweet, sugary foods and snacks.

Thanks Solo, that's actually very insightful and you're very aware of what the main issues seem to be. Hope it's ok if I just outline what I see (and all of which I think you have mentioned because you see it too), helps sometimes to have an outside perspective too...

1. The calorific drinks - unfortunately it really needs to be cut down as they are so sugary - not good for teeth either. Sugary foods cause swings in blood glucose which leads to further sweet cravings and also don't hydrate as effectively as plainer drinks. I think the solution is to water down his apple juice a little bit, or limit it to just one apple juice a day - whichever he'll tolerate best.
   The squash can be replaced with sugar free. I know it's still not a healthfood but the sugary one is a big problem really. I think that the large intake of sweetened fruit drinks is causing his loose poo, it is really common in children. The sugar and acids draw water into the bowel, and overload of fructose causes mild malabsorption, resulting in diarrheoa. It also bloats out the stomach and causes gas. If you cut down his intake of the juices, he will almost certainly have normal bowels which means you can give him as much fruit and veg as he likes

2. The basmati rice is great food, and lower GI than most white rice, but it is very full of calories in large amounts so it's best to limit a portion to about 75g dryweight for him.

3. The sweets and crisps do come with the holidays and I'm sure they have much less in termtime, but maybe stop him from having more than 1-2 treat things a day - such as keeping the icecream at night but not having a choc bar in the day too. Fruit or yoghurt instead.

4. The sandwich packs are often a bit higher in calories than a homemade sandwich as they butter the bread and use mayo etc. Myabe imitate the sandwich with only a tiny bit of spread and low fat mayo.

5. Is there any way you could get him to eat half a pain au chocolate (or get mini ones) and then give him a boiled egg or a banana instead to fill him - I'd feel starved all day if all I ate was a croissant for breaky!

6. Maybe insist that you all go for a 20-30 minute walk after school or after dinner - this will burn off a little bit more, and also be a definate end signal for the meal time.

Hope that helps a little bit, and I haven't made any assumptions I shouldn't have - obviously only you know your son so I bet you'll figure out lots of sneaky ways to help him out