DD Overweight? 3yr 8mths too young to worry?

[mumofmoomoo]

Hello. My daughter is 3yrs 8mhts old, she is a hungry girl and always seems to be talking about food. I had her height and weight taken today and put it into NHS child BMI calculator and she comes up as obese. Health visitor didn't seem to worry, just said, you are a good eater, better to be larger than too small.

She is noticably larger than her other friends of the same age. She eats healthily, lots of fruit or rice crackers as snacks. Has healthy cereals for breakfast, wholegrain bread, pasta and rice. Yoghurt or ice lolly or more fruit for dessert. If at a party or BBQ or anywhere where she has a choice of food she will just gorge herself on food, really seems to binge. If anyone else is caring for her other than me (grandparents, father, childminder) she pesters for food, always asking for biscuits or ice cream etc. She is active, and has not been pushed around in a buggy since before she was 3. Walks to and from pre-school, goes to play at the park very regularly, has a garden to run about in.

Am I worrying about this too early? She has been classified as obese by the NHS BMI calculator though? I am also worried about her attitude to food.

Thanks

BMI should not be used as a measure for shildren under the age of... something (I can't remember what!) I think it's 16ish - I seem to remember there were all sorts of issues with WiiFit when it first came along because it was telling children that they were overweight/obese when they were fine. However, that said, I think the attitude to food does need to be kept an eye on. I have a very unhealthy attitude towards food and so I am now an obese adult.

I suggest you make sure the activity levels remain in place, but try to work on the attitude towards food (Not sure how, sorry!)

I don't mean to sound judgey but does she gorge on stuff cos she's not allowed it elsewhere?

Does she look overweight or are you just going on the bmi?

If the kind of foods she's eating are healthy, maybe portion size is a problem? It's easy to fall into giving children almost adult sized portions, and a child who is a "good eater" will clear their plate regardless. Maybe smaller portions on small plates could help.

My DD is just the same and we try to keep her diet the same as you are describing - I looked up and she falls under "overweight" too, bless her. I honestly think that while you can do your best with diet, some of it is down to genetics. My DD was born on the 9th centile but at 10 weeks was 98th - exclusively breastfed. She has a similar build to me - her weight matched mine almost ounce for ounce as a baby, and I was also a chunky child but am now a size 8-10 and a healthy weight as an adult.It sounds like you are doing the right things - now DD is a little older I encourage her by talking about what is healthy (eg she drinks water instead of juice or squash etc as she enjoys the praise for making healthy choices!) which has helped. Sometimes if she is likely to gorge I encourage her to drink alongside her meal and ask her if she is full yet. Genetics does play a role and given you are doing all the right things, I wouldn't worry too much.

Thanks for the replies.
Galena: ok instead of looking at BMI I will speak to a doctor (wihtout DD there as I don't want her to know i'm worried). I guess what I am really keen to do is change her attitude to food to a healthier one but don't know how. My parents did some really weird sh*t in our house about food and all three daughters had some form of eating disorder, I just don't want the same for my DD.
Chofleur: She looks bigger than her friends do, chubby face, really large thighs and buttocks, but looks OK in clothes, you just notice a chubby face. Perhaps she is gorging because I don't have 'treats' in the house, but what is the alternative? She does get the occasional treat, should I increase them?
MUA: Yes DP and I were talking last night and think portion sizes need to get smaller. It is only because she asks though. For example, muselei for breakfast, immediately she asks for toast, then says she is still hungry( surely she can't be!?) so I give fruit. And so the day continues, asking for food very regularly.
Vanity pear: I think I was a larger child, but was also larger until my late teens, and it caused me some misery. Not sure about DP. Weight came off me in my early twenties.

For the BMI calculator to come up in the obese range it is essentially saying that your child is unusually heavy for her height. The HV is isn't right in saying that large is good, being overweight has a variety of negative health outcomes, and HVs are supposed to be able to talk about them intelligently and help parents with concerns, not brush them off.

Given your comments on her chubbiness compared with her friends and her tendency to binge eat I think that getting some advice on managing this now is a really good idea. It's much easier to make small adjustments early on than when habits are more entrenched. You could also try something like keeping a food diary, just to give you an idea of what she is getting through in an average day, although you'd need to get her other carers to contribute. Some children do pester for food a lot - my ds could eat and eat and eat, but with him it was often really just a boredom thing, if you said no, or only offered water would plus a distraction would she accept that and lose interest? You could move to more of a grazing diet (ie several small meals rather than the standard three ones) some people do better on that. Ideally a dietitian would probably give you the advice you need.

I agree that pestering food can sometimes be a boredom thing too. Mine are constantly asking for something to eat, especially if we aer having a lazy day at home or I am busy trying to get stuff done and expecting them to occupy themselves. Could you try to distract with activities like a bike ride or go out or whatever when she asks? (not always practical I know) or have really boring food options if shes asking for something?

speaking honestly, my DD is a bit overweight at 3.3.

She was a large baby, and has always eaten very well indeed. We have a balanced diet at home, but DD has a huge appetite and would probably eat adult portions if left to her own devices. We do keep an eye on portions, and I am starting to notice that she looks less different from her more slender peers with every passing month. Her portions are no more than 1/3 to 1/2 an adult portion.

It's hard though, as the message she gets from nursery is to eat up all your dinner to grow big and strong, whereas we try and encourage her to leave food on her plate if she's full.

Like vanity, I was an overweight child, and now have a normal BMI, so I am hoping that with the right support DD will be the same.

It's hard isn't it. Some people are genetically inclined to a) be very interested in food (that's how chefs are born I guess!) and b) gain weight readily in spite of relatively healthy food choices. Part of nature is that we all come in different shape and sizes so she probably does have a larger build than her slimmer friends.
I think keeping a close but loving eye on the occasional overeating is a very good idea like you have mentioned - and reducing her portion sizes a bit. Perhaps coming up with a few good distractions for her for immediately after meals.
One trick I've heard often is to have a plate of prepared raw veggies in the fridge and if she complains of hunger after a meal, then offer these. She might only be 'hungry' for sweet things or highly tasty foods so by limiting the options after a meal, she might decide she isn't that hungry after all
I think the tricky thing is with toddlers though, is that you're never quite sure if it's a growth spurt approching, so do make sure that she has enough to support growth based on caloric guidelines - I think in the range of 1000-1200 would be about right. Obviously it's a good idea to discuss all this with a Dr first and make sure everythings ok.
x

Some good suggestions here, distraction when she pesters for food (if i know she shouldn't be hungry of course) by going out for a scooter ride or park trip.
Offering a plate of veggies if she says she is still hungry after a meal is a good one too! Also offering more water. Traditionally I would give fruit in this instance but veggies would be even better. Me and DP are 'foodies' so there may also be some genetic inclination there. I just feel so guilty like i've done something wrong. Looking at what I've done wrong I think I do bribe with food, ("stop whinging about walking home and just walk nicely and I will give you an ice lolly when we get home" etc) this can't help things. Also I don't want to deny her food (as my parents did this severely with me as a child so I probably have a propensity to over-compensate with DD) even if it is only healthy food that I give, clearly there has been too much.
Thanks for all the suggestions. I will also speak to a professional.

Could she be bored? I know its the first thing I think about when Im bored. Its hard when they say they're hungry as your instinct is to feed them, maybe try to cut down on snacks and say lunch/dinner wont be long, lets do some drawing or whatever.

I agree though dont let it be an issue, lots of kids have puppy fat, thats what they used to call it, now they label kids with 'overweight' and 'obese'. In the paper the other day there were 2 children who had been called this and their parents were outraged as they were both average weight.

DS is a grazer and will often not eat his whole plateful at lunch/dinner but has a snack again an hour or so later. My friend (whose 2 children are on the large size) is always astonished that I allow him a snack if he doesn't finish his plate. But I don't want him to think that he has to eat everything when he is full and would rather allow him a yoghurt/piece of fruit/toast/breadstick as a snack as well if he is then hungry a bit later.

Could you try stickers or something as bribes for walking home instead of a lolly.

What does she drink?

What cereal? Do you put sugar on the cereal?

I have excatly the same problem. I posted a few months ago. DD is 3.5 and she is overweight.
She's been over the 95% centile since her first month.
She eats the same as her brother who is 2 and he's normal.
I hunt all sugar in her diet. I make her yoghurts, the desserts, compotes etc...
She does love food and never has enough either.
So we try to distract her at the end of the meal.
I really don't want her to have a weird attitude towards food though.
I really don't understand how her friends can eat tons of biscuits and sweets, drink juice all day and be all skinny. It's so unfair :-(

Brigitte, is she having no sugar added juice? Or Canderel on cereal for instance?

I'm really suspicious of aspartame, I've stopped feeling hungry all the time since I stopped having aspartame, and it was when I started having diet pop and sweeteners that I went from being a chubby child to a fat child.

No juice. She's never had soda in her life. Juice is just for special day and I get 100% fruit juice. No aspartam as I don't consider it safe as there are some worries about it being carcinogenic, as I understand.
I pick the cereals that are the lowest in sugar. I make my own yoghurt and sweeten it with apple compote etc...

Is she in proportion? I mean does she look fat?

Another thing I read is that fatter people tend to fidget less, so need to do more exercise than they otherwise would.

She looks "well-fed" and wears clothes size 4 y/o (she's 3.5). Some clothes are a bit tight around the arms or a bit short at the waist, but on average fits well.
She doesn't move as much as her brother and tends to prefer indoors to outdoors, although today we went for a walk and she ran for about 1 hour. So my new target is to get her to move more.

I know this is probably obvious to you OP, but I would say do try not to make your daughter too aware that food and her weight are an 'issue'. My mum sort of made it define my character IYSWIM that I liked food and eating, and that I was 'chunky' as a child (which I think she was celebrating really as I have a very skinny older brother who she struggled to get to eat anything). Looking back at photos I wasn't ever actually chubby, and my mum now says 'oh no, you were never fat!', but all the commenting on it at the time gave me a complex which I've never really got over, and all over nothing, it turns out. I think our children rely a lot on how they perceive our perceptions of them to be, and it would be good to not build an idea of a food issue so early for her. I hope it works out well.

Quite honestly I think that oosa's advice is some of the best here. As I said below I was a chunky child and teenager (I was only 12-14 but am not tall and just never carried it well). I got grief for my weight at school but my parents never, ever made it an issue. They just encouraged healthy choices. So while at points I was unhappy with my weight I always had a healthy attitude and eventually it all evened out in my early 20s.
Given you are doing all the right things (you make your own yoghurt... good for you !) and have it in mind I think the best approach is the one you are taking, which will help to engender a good attitude to food and eating. As I said below I believe a lot in genetics and I would so much rather my DD be few pounds overweight than inadvertently laying the ground for eating disorders later on - poor little things have enough external pressures these days in that regard.

mumofmoomoo I think you are on the right lines - watch portion sizes (most parents hugely overestimate how much food children need) and stop rewarding desirable behaviour with food.

Also bear in mind that muesli is hugely calorific (tons of sugar!) and squash/juice can add many extra empty calories. Some children really do have larger appetites than others, but if they have always been given large portions or are grazing constantly then they get used to feeling full and want to feel full constantly.

As a parent to a young child I think it's fairly easy to manage their intake without making a big deal of it or making them aware of their weight - distract, divert, only have healthier options in the house and then food loses a lot of it's mystery and appeal and becomes just something we have 3 times a day to give us energy.

Hello all. Wasting away: cereal is either muselei, porride, weetabix or mini shreddies. I don't add sugar to anything. She drinks between one to two semi skimmed milks per day, and otherwise just water. On occassion she will get a watered down fruit juice. Though after her cereal she often asks for toast (wholemeal, with marmite or jam) and then still may want more so I give fruit. Reading this I understand portion sizes should be reduced!
Brigitte - it doesn't seem fair does it!? when DD is at picnics with friends etc she is always loitering around other people as they have crips, biscuits chocs etc. I never have that stuff and she is so much larger than them.
Oosa: I agree with you. I am desperate for DD not to have any 'issues' around food. So although I am worried, I won't let her know that!

I think moving forward I will sign her up to some sort of sporting thing once a week additionally to maintainging our current exercise levels. Bribe with things other than food. Distract from boredom eating. And I think reducing portion sizes is crucial. Oh and sometimes swapping fruit with veggies!

Protein is supposed to be more filling, perhaps egg for breakfast?

Portion sizes are key I think.

Best of luck.