DS, ASD constantly interrupts when I read to him

[User3735]

My DS is 7 in January. Generally, at bedtime we read him a short picture book and then he listens to an audio book or podcast. Some nights he doesn't even have the picture book. I feel really guilty about this as his sisters all had chapter books from age 5, and had listened to all sorts of classics by his age and we're well established what genre was their favourite etc

His sisters were less academically able than he is, he has been off reading scheme books for a long time now but not really reading independently at home because I haven't managed to establish a love of reading like his sister's had. But being read to really helped them make up the gap.

The reason for DS still being on short occasional picture books is because he constantly interrupts when we try to read to him. I mean every....single....sentence. It is highly likely he has ASD and he has a lot to say! I have realised that he much prefers non fiction, but then he has even more he needs to say! He wants to tell me every fact he knows about every picture. At the moment I am reading the Usborne Beginner books with him, and trying to teach him to wait until the end of each page and then he can ask any questions or make any comments. There are only 3 sentences/facts on each page, and he is trying but still really struggling with this, especially when he is excited about what he can see on the next page, but I hope we make progress doing this. Has anyone been through this and have any ideas on how we can move on?

Perhaps let him read, stopping him may impact his sleep if he has to process what comes to his mind.

Can you try reframing it? I have one autistic child and one with ADHD. For us it’s our ADHD child who interrupts every sentence, but if that’s how he enjoys the story and learns from it and shares his ideas and thoughts with me then does that have to be an issue? I started out trying to get him to just listen but it was very hard for him: he enjoys story time a lot more and is much calmer now he knows we can chat about it as we go.

Tell me about this page and then I will read the words (and cover the next page with cardboard so he can't get ahead)

Shared reading. He can read, he doesn’t need you to read. He needs you to share books with him. To listen and help him understand any details he’s missing.

He has audio books for passive listening. You are there for mutual sharing and enjoyment.

And look at the double spread as a whole. He may well be able to process the whole lot in one go, instead of in a boring linear fashion.

My DS(17) has ASD, I learnt during his GCSE that he learns best by discussion. I tried all the standard ways to get him to revise but he struggled with them all.

Your DS is learning by this way too. He’s telling you what he knows about a subject as he’s listening to you read. Ask him a question or two to think about and if he’s not sure then google and read what it says to him.

He’s not neurotypical and his learning method is not typical and that’s absolutely ok. There’s not one way to learn so adapt how you read to him to support him and he’ll flourish.

The key thing is his interest in the topic. Get books out of the library on his topic of interest. I’d get a range of reading levels as you may find he connects to the “harder” to read books.

Echoing others suggestions, but it sounds like you need to change the record, so to speak, with your DS. When my son was a similar age (and also ASD) we entered the phase of "story time" which was less about structured reading-he already was an established reader-and more about creative stories and collaboration of what happens next. He loved the creative input of storytime, and while it wasn't a traditional bedtime reading routine, it served his needs and still gave us a chance to spend time together before bed.

I'd let him read to me or open the book and make it a conversation. You reading and him listening doesn't work for him, so why force it? I would just flex with his learning style. He won't be interrupting if he is leading the conversation - you will be!

Agree with above stop looking at it as I read u listen.

The talking is his processing. Accept that how you read together and enjoy the experience

I found fact books worked well particularly in favourite subjects

You seem focused on "he has to be read to, he must pick a favourite genre, he must sit silently and listen" rather than "this is bedtime wind down and important time together".

Pick a fact book. Pick one picture. Let him tell you all about it. If there's time, do it again.

He's academically advanced compared to his good sisters who say silently during story time. He's off the reading scale compared to his cooperative sisters who liked passively listening to you. You know he's likely ND. Stop comparing him. It's not fair.

Forget reading stories and get fact books. The DK books are great because they are educational, full of facts and full of pictures he can talk about.

Thanks all! Lots of great suggestions and food for thought.

@SleepingStandingUp you've jumped to some conclusions there! What I didn't mention is that his sister's are ND too, they have ADHD. They did not sit passively and listen! But they did listen while doing laps of their bedroom or standing on their heads, and they did interrupt a lot, but perhaps once a paragraph or once a page rather than literally every sentence! My son has tics and stereotypies that are very impulsive, and I suspect this is why he can't help but interrupt, it's certainly not that I'm just used to passive well behaved children. The reason I so badly wanted advice on how we can move to me reading chapter books to him, is because I feel guilty that he won't have childhood memories of the books I read to both his sister's. The first chapter books I read my daughter's I remember my dad reading to me and my brother before I lost him in childhood, but I recognise that I'm deflecting and putting more focus on wanting specific shared moments than I need to.

The benefits of being read to research says, is developing more complex vocabulary, ability to read with a good flow, tackling themes and topics that they don't have the attention span or inclination to read about themselves, writing skills and empathy. All things ND children can struggle with. My son does struggle in particular with empathy, and advice is that reading a range of books, in particular fiction, is the best thing to help develop this. That is why I've been narrow minded about it.

But I will take the advice given and see how we go. I know I need to be open to different memories with him that don't mean I need to keep asking him to be quiet!

@MrsMariaReynolds I think a choose your own adventure type story that puts him in control would be a great thing to try! If anyone has any suggestions for those that would be great.

Could you read at another time of day and find a different way to spend time at bedtime?

My asd son (12) really struggles with fiction.
He doesn’t get it, he can’t imagine stories so he doesn’t get what his older brother gets from reading. He much prefers factual books. I have done some work on his imagination by doing some guided meditation before bed - which also helps him wind down and relax. I go between a relaxing story and something more imaginative that I know he will like. He listens to Audio versions too. If he’s not really getting anything out of reading fiction could you swap to some factual picture books.

it’s a learning curve getting used to what your children enjoy and what works for them, can be a bit frustrating when you have to read 2 bedtime stories etc but when they don’t want them/read themselves you’ll miss it even if it’s just time lying in dim light chatting about something before bed.