Borrowing/ lending children's books

[Alexandra2888]

Hi mums,

I have one boy and one girl of 4 and 7 with very different tastes in books.

They are both avid readers so I see myself having to spend £50-60 every month on books for them. Now I'm stuck with a pile of read books too.

How are you dealing with this? Is anyone borrowing/lending books with other parents to save money and maintain diversity?

And how much do you spend on books on average? Am I trying too hard?

Thoughts appreciated :)

Have you tried the library?

Library and charity shops? 🤷‍♀️

FallenSky yes, I tried the library but it doesn't always have the latest books and they have a limited collection.

Buying from charity shops means we expand our own collection, so we'd have to donate them again.

Do any parents borrow from each other? Any websites like that?

I take it they don’t reread? We spend a lot of money on books for DD but she does reread a lot of them. I wouldn’t be buying lots of brand new books if they only get read once.

Libraries should be able to order you books for a small fee (50p in our library).

I don’t get your problem with charity shops though? You buy a book for a fraction of the price and then take it back when they’ve read it. Win win, surely.

I share books with adult friends because I know I will get them back and in the same condition I lent them. I’m not about to do that with DD’s books, though.

Try using your library more effectively or visit a bigger branch. You can place a hold on new books etc, plus try to manage your childs expectations and explain that they can't always have the new best seller etc. That's an awful lot to spend each month when there are so many free resources about.

readitswapit.co.uk

I've never used that site ^ but used to use an English language book swapper site in a non English speaking country. It makes more sense to me living in a country where outside cities libraries and bookshops have only a couple of shelves of English books and often the only English children's books are intended for learners of English as an additional language. I'm not sure how well a book swapper site swapping majority language books works, but it's worth looking.

I'm not sure having the latest books immediately is essential though, there are billions of books to read while you wait...

Thank you so much everyone!

For us, it's not as much about having the latest bestseller as it is about having well-written books that teach the children new things.

Skills like emotional intelligence, adaptability, critical thinking...

We noticed that we need to buy specific books for that and unfortunately the charity shops/libraries have few of this type of '21st century' skills discussed...

Normandy144, do you know any free resources that talk about this type of skills?

Errr, what? Are you children not simply allowed to browse the shelves and choose what takes their interest?

But then a kindle?

*buy

Surely the things you want the books to teach your children should be done by yourself through example and discussion.
And give your children the freedom to choose the books they want to read.

Is this some kind of baiting the hook thread - are you trying to create the perception of a non existent need and then advertise something to us?

Libraries have lots of good children's books. Children read about the skills you mention as a byproduct of reading at random, but although they might read about "role models" life skills are better taught by lived example (i.e. by watching you). Those aren't 21st century skills/ qualities either, lots of older children's books are far more "moralistic/teaching" heavy...

Yes you're trying too hard

This is hilarious.

My two DC are 3 and 6. The library is their happy place. They grab piles of books to be read and the ones we like best come home with us. They can pick what they like though. Some.of it is rubbish but they don't care. They just want the cuddles, the pictures, the stories. I'm not relying on them to teach them emotional intelligence. I'm hoping it'll instil a love of reading, stories and imagination though. They also rediscover books we've had before all the time.

We buy books too which we really want to keep - new or from charity shops - but I could never keep up with their love of stories without the library.

Library is definitely your answer. Just order in the books you want. It's generally free for children. You might have to wait a bit for brand new titles but not that long. If they don't have them in stock you can ask them to buy them in, to add to their catalogue (they might not).

If the books you no longer want are in good condition then take those to the library as donations. Surely though you want to keep the 7 yr old's books for the 4 yr old?

You say that the library doesn’t always have the latest books, but then later say that it’s not about having the latest books?

I once read a really good book by the children's author Michael Rosen, talking about how kids learn and one of the things he wrote about was how vitally important it was that children were given the opportunity to develop "browsing" skills - the ability to look at a bookshelf (at home, in a library, in a shop) and choose for themselves what they want to read, what they want to learn about, even if it doesn't match what we as adults would think of as "good" books.

Libraries and charity shops are brilliant for kids books, just treat the charity shop as a library for which you pay a small fee if you don't want to amass loads of books. There is no need to spend £50-60 a month on books.

Thanks NannyR and everyone else, very helpful advice :)

Without wishing to be obtuse, i do Alexandra2888 and it is a library. I do think you are over thinking this. I have a 3 and 6 year old and and we visit every 3 weeks and take a massive pile home to last until the next visit. They can get up to 15 books each. We pretty much wing it each visit and they get to pick what they like but i will throw in a few i know or think they will like. Especially for the eldest who likes to get books out on the topic she is doing at school.
I'd be interested to hear what titles your children are reading that delivers on the areas of development you are concentrating on. Mine have pretty standard tastes e.g. Julia Donaldson, roald dahl, jill Murphy (worst witch). Sounds like all you would need to do is a bit more prep in advance of a library visit and research the titles you want to check stock levels in advance but i would encourage you to let the children have some freedom to select something they like the look of.

As with many aspects of parenting, it’s easy to overthink this. Children need access to books they enjoy reading, at least a few of which should be their own.
I’m confused about how the skills you mentioned are ‘21st century’ and about why you’re treating this as some kind of emotional curriculum rather than reading for pleasure.
I’d also suggest that if your children never re-read a book then they’re possibly not enjoying the books they have access to.
Got to the library. Let them borrow as many books as you can carry. Let them read whatever they enjoy from that selection. Consider buying a copy of one if they absolutely love it and you can afford to do so. Repeat until they are old enough to get themselves to the library.

Normandy144 that sounds fun!

Of course my children are allowed to choose their own books! People just jumped to the conclusion that I am some sort of an ogre haha..

We love Peppa Pig, Jim Tomlinson, Usborne, the Lego Activities etc. A mix of classics and new books.

We will try going to the library to request books and also I am thinking to buy them a Kindle / Fire tablet from Amazon.

Any experiences with the online books/ activities? Were they well received by the little ones?

We go to several libraries and use the libraries reserve system as well as downloading e-books for their kindles. (If your DC are serious bookworms I would get a proper kindle as the kindle fire will strain their eyes if they are using it to read for long periods of time.)

I also use the charity shops (for them and me) as a way to buy books and read them and re-donate.

I've tried lending them out but people tend to be too precious with the books. I've had two different people buy a new copy of a book I had lent them as they thought their child was too rough with the copy I had leant. I wouldn't dream of lending a child a book if I was precious about it...