International Incident at the Chalet School

[RueDeWakening]

Hear ye, hear ye! Gather ye hence, all angels (be-costumed with slightly tacky silver halos and suchlike) with your lark-like notes and prepare to dazzle us all with your charm.

No, not you Joan. Shop bought cake and cheap looks for you, my dear. See Matron for some milk on your way out.

More likely Shop Cake - sorry.

So if you were a chalet girl who would you be?

When I was at school?
Bride Bettany: clever but nothing special to look at; one of the crowd without being anything of a leader.
Or maybe Rosalie Dene - quietly and inoffensively capable, easily and contentedly overlooked; nobody really dislikes her, but plenty of people probably forget she was ever there.

Betty isn't expelled for shop cake my lamb! Betty is expelled for treason, remember. Shop cake is not an expellable crime.

Oh, I'm a Highland Twin. Come from the Highlands, family roots in Shetland, twin... Sadly lacking in second sight, alas.

If I was anyone else it would be Janet from Adrienne who'd always been top of the class and resented Adrienne popping up and tying for first place.

Clare Balding's dad allegedly got into Oxbridge by catching a book his tutor threw at him. That was his interview (probably late 1950s) and he couldn't understand what Clare's exam results had to do with it.

I'm Hilda Jukes. Never could leapfrog to save my life. I'm very impressed that Nell has laid claim to Bettany DNA. A star role for you, my lamb, next time we hump the kapok.

Hmmm, not sure I believe that story about Clare Balding's dad. It sounds like one of those tall tales he told his kids when they were little, and somehow it got believed and became the 'truth'. We'll never know.

Is it nearly time to start rehearsing the nativity play? Or does someone else have a birthday or other celebratory occasion requiring ceremonial performance? I'm feeling anti-climactic after EmilyAlice's birthday.

Oh so a highland twin aye? You do realise you might live with Joey in the holidays!

I love Hilda jukes and thought she was harshly treated after that leap frog gate. Not happy with the fat =lazy thinking either.

Nell my lamb are you very sure here. Aunty Jo throughout your life? However you were once described as being almost as pretty as your sisters by auntie Madge so that's nice.

My Sloc has a birthday next week. He obviously has a pipe and a clock golf set. Thought about a special knife to open letters?

I am not sure who I am? No good at games, no good at science. In fact I was a timid, snivelling wimp of a child at school. I was only good at ballet and nobody was interested in that at my school (or at the CS for that matter). Who can I be?
I think the Nativity play should be soon really. My pirouettes are tip-top and my tutu is positively smothered in sequins.

I have never been to a boarding school but have taught in International Schools. Friendships are far more intense particularly with the young single teachers, even more so when all the staff live in the same building.

I have a student applying to Oxford at the moment, he had to do an exam and then he will have a Skype interview. We have been asked if he can do the interview at school so we can legitimise it.

Emily could you be simone ?

We know she's not sporty and not sure about the science but she's a water spout. Or maybe is it Odette the weepy homesick French girl?

Only Russian girls with Russian names are good at Ballet in the CS.

I could be the back end of the donkey?

Didn't Mrs Maynard have a baby especially for the nativity play? What a trooper.

I knew Clare Balding in those days and her exam results weren't that big a factor tbh - being Young Sportsperson at 18 and knowing the Queen sort of helped .

I was always more of a Ros Lilley.

EmilyAlice could you be Lavender? Or Rosalie - the luffing Tom one, rather than Miss Dene.

Yes bonne idée I will be Simone. Like her I did grow up to be a teacher (and an inspector but we won't mention that) and I have the day-to-day running of my ancient French farmhouse chateau to consider.

It did cross my mind that it wasn't very humble of me to declare myself MBR. But thebody's reminder that Bride is Less Pretty Than Her Sisters has reassured me that I am in fact Bride Bettany. I like this game! More, more! This should keep us going until nativity rehearsals kick in - do we still have that donkey safely tethered in an airing cupboard somewhere?

Just finished Leader. It is pretty rubbish BUT it features my new favourite fainting scene, where Joan Bertram collapses because she's seen a toy snake, and Wanda von Eschenau throws a vase of flowers all over her.

Early thoughts on Jack Lambert: I think she's a kind of confused character - coincidentally, in much the same way as Tom Gay - because she's created and motivated to tell a certain plot, rather than to be a certain character, if that makes any sense. Just as Tom is a sort of cipher for the message about girls being equal-in-a-samey-way to boys, Jack is basically written in to adore and harass Len in a way that demonstrates Len's natural leadership and 'butting in'. Perhaps this is why EBD later gets so tangled up in insisting that its not a GP - because she doesn't really conceptualise any of it from Jack's direction; it only happens to elicit a particular response from Len. Which is a bit odd, cos Len has surely been sheepdogging in earnest for years by this point.

EBD seems to portray Jack's trick-playing "nice naughtiness" as somehow boyish, but I don't recall her making the same point when very similar pranks were played eg in Tyrol (isn't even the bubble-bath a variant on something which freaks out a Tyrolean peasant in one of the early books?).

I think I was a Verity Ann. Away with the fairies half the time.

There's a notice on the board saying rehearsals are starting tomorrow afternoon at 4.

Tooextra the getting into Oxford by catching is an old story that's been told for many years. Usually Keble College (as a sporty one) and usually a rugby ball, but the book does appear from time to time.
It's a total made up story as far as anyone can tell, but it still comes up regularly.

I think I was probably a Ros Lilly character. Desperate to fit in and be liked, quietly getting on and being generally okay with most people but with a couple of closer friends of whom were more dominant than me.
Alternatively I was one of those characters that appears in most books to say one or two fairly thoughful lines and doesn't appear again until the next book, except perhaps mentioned in passing that they were partnering someone.

Emily, I think you're forgetting that Felicity Maynard is our resident ballerina, not to mention displaying a certain amount of ambiguity towards the school as a child. Do you dare declare yourself a Maynard?

Gosh, is it, DeWee? I have just been reading Clare Balding's autobiography and it never occurred to me that that story was apocryphal. Elisaveta, am impressed that you moved in those circles!

Cheddar, Felicity Maynard is the same age as me and I can tell you that nobody would consider her to be a ballerina when I am on stage. Her turn-out is rubbish, she wobbles in her arabesque and her pirouettes are off centre. Her only advantage is a pushy mother.
So as far as I can see, we have a dancing star (moi and nobody else), half a donkey, a sheep and a baby.
Have I missed anything?
Falling if you are Verity-Ann can you wrap your lark-like notes round "How Far Is It to Bethlehem" in the opening scene?

Well I am a Princess, TooExtra .

Well actually Emily I'm an Angel. Mummy's just sent over my ballet dress and I've 'borrowed' one of Matey's starched aprons to make wings. I'm sure she won't mind as it's for something religious.

Well I think an angel costume is perfect for the lark-like notes, golden curls etc etc
Now I must go and scold faithful Anna. I have just found pantry moths in the flour and mouse droppings in the kitchen cupboard.

Ohhhhh rehearsals tomorrow. I shall play a herdsman, which is like being a Shepherd but in charge of the baby bullock. I have a brown dressing gown and a tea towel on standby.

I fear I might be a pale imitation of jack Lambert. I'd quite like to be Tom but don't have the balls.

I was promised a narrator part......and have been practising my bell like tones...

When I namechanged it was to honour my favourite character, but I suspect I would have been a bit more Eustacia than Rosalie. Piss off Joey, I'm reading.

If I was a character I expect I would be one who gets a fleeting mention and is then forgotten all about. I would have liked to be Vi Lucy though...I always liked her!