International Incident at the Chalet School

[RueDeWakening]

Hear ye, hear ye! Gather ye hence, all angels (be-costumed with slightly tacky silver halos and suchlike) with your lark-like notes and prepare to dazzle us all with your charm.

No, not you Joan. Shop bought cake and cheap looks for you, my dear. See Matron for some milk on your way out.

Why would this news even be announced, never mind garnered cheers?

I know, right?
"Simone has had a baby" belongs properly in Joey's personal correspondence. Similarly, "detailed family history of problem new girl" belongs in Hilda's.
But instead, we've got May Carthew writing to Joey who she has never had an adult relationship with to tell her all about Ted Grantley's difficulties, and Miss Annersley announcing Simone's procreations in assembly.

And why, in Coming of Age, does it seem a novel idea to make those nice albums with all the details of Old Girls? It would be a nice idea, but it definitely requires no research because every bloody girl in the school knows it all already!

The cheering of Simone was surely entirely due to giving them an extra holiday. We'd have cheered for anyone who did that.

And the realisation that Joey would have to beat her in a wholesale way so they're probably get a whole term off next time she produced.

The extra holiday was announced after the cheering. By the way, can you imagine anyone ringing their old school and requesting that the girls all be given a day off because they've had a baby? There's be more days off than on (and a lot of pissed of parents!)

I say, I've just got back from the Splashery - Fallingovercliffs is trying to scrub a huge stain out of the front of her Sylphides dress. Looks like some sort of apple brandy. Does anyone know what could have happened?

Anyway, has anyone seen EmilyAlice recently?

Why are they never supposed to clap after the Nativity play? I never managed to work this out.

On my lambs how I have missed you.

Some of you have put on a little weight I see and Simone looks like a scarecrow but no matter.

I hated Joey in Island. Quite right she didn't give a toss about Annis which was strange really as any new girl,slightly out of kilter, was sorted out by Joey using chicken plucking analogies or telling them exactly how they really felt because 'Joey knows girls'

Dewee what a lovely story about your aunty. It's a bit like Jack and Reg!

So agree also with the cringing boast to Phil graves that she's beaten Hilary.

The competitive birth stories is akin to the nazis giving out medals to women for having lots of children. Just wierd.

Oh I forgot to say how brilliant DeWee's great aunt sounded!

Yes I hate the competitive childbirth stuff. And I am always annoyed by the cheerleading of it that Bill provides - all very well when it's not your displaced organs, isn't it.

I am on Ruey. I love the earnest discussions about new uniforms! So ridiculous, so detailed, so well-thought-out...

Yes, I'm here Princess. Have been absent in England because of GD's RL ballet show (and she, DD and I all went to ballet class together so my pirouettes are on form).
Back now and preparations for Thursday are well underway.
The cows have gone so no problem for parachute landing in the field, the cider, pommeau and calva are ready along with some local rice pudding for ballast.

I must read your earlier posts Emily unless I Am to assume you have been smoking some hallucinogenic drug with Vic Coles!

Nell were those the special dresses both chik and practical?

Yes! Chic and practical and jeune-fille, with thought given to those folk who cannot stand an unrelieved blue... And then in the background there's Nancy sturdily defending "gymmers"... On top of EBD's careful descriptions of the watercolour pictures showing front and rear elevations (v much in the tone of dainty gentian-spattered cretonnes or whatever), she's then equally carefully thought about who would think what - the art mistress talks about colours, the science/geographers discuss materials, the gym mistress only pays attention when it's pointed out that girls don't even wear gymslips for gym any more... It's all charmingly mad.

Speaking of charmingly mad, you need to catch up on all the hanes: on Thurs it will be Emily and Joey's birthday and we are all parachuting in to hump the kapok and sing below her window. I think we've been promised Calva, though perhaps not if its all been wasted on falling's Angle dress...

Of course Joeys birthday it's just before the trips isn't it. Jolly D. And Emily may I tag along?

I promise not to forget the lemonade but if I do I will treck to a farm and persuade a dumpy but worthy farmers wife to give us wood smoked goats milk.

Myself I only drink a light country wine. No spirits please Emily I have a bitter and deadly hatred of it.

Who will look after our babies though? Do you all have spare teens or wards to leave them with?

I am thinking about rear elevations

I thought that too, but I was promptly ashamed of myself and blamed it on the recent memory of Roger Richardson's exiguous swimming trunks.

I'm sending DS to Winnie Embury's, of course. He needs to be with boys now anyway. Maybe I'll adopt some new kids while we're in France instead.

Spat out my light country wine there Nell

Good idea to send your ds to be amongst boys my lamb you don't want him thinking about sales of work or feminine things like that.

Oh and it's ok I have 4 wards and a sister by marriage and they are all 15 now and have all been brought up useful so can take hold with my faithful handmaiden in the background.

Have just finished Joey and Co in Tirol and she really is at her best when writing about Tiernsee which she so obviously knows and loves. Her heart really isn't in any other the other locations - I couldn't tell you much about them at all, but back at Tiernsee the villages dotted around the shore, the ferry, journeys down the mountain, up to Sonnalpe. I think it's what distinguishes them from many other school stories.

I also found Joey to be far less annoying in this one - even (whisper it) fairly plausible as a fun mum to be around. Ruey and brothers obviously do need help and it seemed nice of Joey to take them under her wing - sort out clothes for Ruey, mother them all a bit. A change to her usual butting in. I could even forgive the 'fat Madge' prank as think is the kind of thing one might do to a sister as tease (although I probably wouldn't have involved kids, just joked that she brought the ceiling down).

Infact (on a roll now) think Joey in Tirol made me think of how disappointing the series becomes. I'm not sure I can be bothered to read the Swiss books. My feeling is that she has understandable difficulties with the war - the foreign setting is so key. But also she doesn't ever properly work out what to do with the second generation of Bettany offspring.

They are often weirdly overlooked and books focus on random girls who we hear about for 1 book only and then rarely again. Bride is nicely drawn, but I really don't have a clear picture of Peggy and can think of nothing much to say about Josette, Maeve etc. Instead she also introduces all the extra Guernsey families. What is the point of all the Chesters and Lucy's not to mention the Ozannes. They just seem to be there to muddle you up and budge Peggy and Sybil who are similar ages from view.

Both of whom we as readers have seen grow up from Die Rosen days. Sybil I think is the most mistreated character in the series. She has a strong personality which could have been interesting to see what happens to her, but instead after THAT incident she is basically written out. And don't get me started on the craziness that judges a 10 year old Sybil who is thoughtless and clumsy and must repent forever, more severely than 16 year old Margot who loses her temper and nearly kills another girl. Let off with a little chat and advised the other girl was also at fault and don't worry have fun on your jolly holiday to see Emerence in Oz.

If only I could travel back 50 years and persuade EBD to cut down the competitive childbearing, lose the star schoolgirls who eclipse all others (would we really miss Mary Lou?) and concentrate on developing the characters of Bettany cousins. There's enough of them and it's done brilliantly in the Cazalets over long period of time.

Funny that some of us are Cazalet fans too - same complicated families, beautifully drawn over time in the case of the Cazalets, detailed descriptions of fabrics, frocks and food. I re-read the last one on the journey home and realised how good some of it is, now I have got over being annoyed about inconsistencies and the silly Neville / Juliet story. If any Cazalet fan hasn't read EJH's autobiography, Slipstream, then I would thoroughly recommend it.
Anyway mes agneaux, all is ready. There will be cider for those who don't like Calva or even poiré which I think is nicer. Humping the Kapok on the lawn at dawn (I think Walzing Matilda works best as music). Humping the kapok, humping the kapok, you'll go a humping dear Joey with me etc....
followed by flaky croissants, delicious coffee (not French then), home-made cherry jam and creamy butter. Then we can start on the apple-based beverages.
What can possibly go wrong?

Oh yes and no orphans to adopt, but there is a terrifically sad donkey over the road. My GDs call him Don Quixote which I luffs.

Sniff - I'm to far away to join the fun I will drown my sorrows with emerence , Sybil and josette . But just a thought how would the cazalet girls get on at chalet school ? Polly would love after initial homesickness cos she's polly. Might be the making of Louise - joey would get through to her and she would end up head girl. Clary would be a disaster I fear. Can just imagine joey winding her up up with lots of unwanted writing advice . Also ( warming to theme) isn't miss annersley bit like lovely miss millament. D

It is only a virtual party foodfairy, (looks round nervously), of course you can come.
Hmm Miss Milliment as Miss Annersley. I agree with the love of literature etc, but all that gross stuff about egg on chin, stained clothes and smelly underwear would upset EBD.
I think the Cazalet cousins would do quite well; I suppose it would be the Armishire school time, so wartime deprivations would apply, though the rations seem pretty elastic at the Chalet School. I suppose Juliet could be sent to the Oberland to get over her inappropriate pash on her half-brother, though money would be a problem. Maybe Polly could sell a small Turner?

It is only a virtual party foodfairy

Whoa!!!!! Who said anything about Emily's party being virtual? Next thing some of you will be hinting that the Chalet School isn't real. Tra-la-la-la, fingers in ears, I'm not listening, I'm not listening, I'm not listening to you any more (sung to the tune of Humping the Kapok which is now firmly lodged in my head and will no doubt be there all morning).

I'm already gazing out at the skies with a weather-wise eye (much more reliable than watching the international weather forecast on the Beeb). It's cloudless at the moment, but you never know when a sudden storm might spring up. One minute we'll be girlishly tripping our way through our fancy twists, the next we won't be able to see a thing through the whirling dervish of snowflakes which unaccountably make us want to lie down and sleep. (Ponders on whether EBD had read too much Wizard of Oz.) Best make sure you have some doctors on hand to revive us with special apple juice milk, Emily.

I never understood the Chesters, Lucys and Ozannes thing until I read the La Rochelle series which was fairly recently. It made a lot more sense then - but I wish EBD had either developed them properly as characters in their own right in the CS or left them out. I think when I was first reading the books it made me feel a bit of an outsider - that someone who'd read all the books in order and was therefore part of the 'gang' would know about these mysterious girls, and it was my fault that I didn't.

Laughing at poor Emily hoping we all don't actually turn up.

However you are not as hospitable as Joey my lamb. She has many house parties and Anna and assorted chaiet school Karens always comes up trumps.

Food my love we hear your pain about poor Sybil. She starts off all fiesty and fiery and then turns into a meek and mild travesty of her old self.

Always annoys me that the other prefects have to beg Sybil a prefect role,after a fairly blameless hard working school career,while Margot gets to be games prefect after being one of the most difficult girls the school had ever had. Behaving badly even at 16!.

Emily is the jam black cherry and scrummy? Goody goody.

I am looking for Bills weather signs too. Apparently if the moon is tipping and the hills look like they are cut from cardboard we have had it.

Just think if Bill Giles had actually been our Bill that hurricane would have been predicted.

Actually that stain on my dress is elderflower juice .

I'm another Cazalet fan. I've read the books tons of times and got my mum hooked on them as well. I think Polly would have been very like Vi Lucy - pretty and creative and friendly but not too in your face. Louise, I agree, would have been sorted out by a few chats with Joey and a 'conversation whose contents she would never repeat' with Miss Annersley. I think Clary would have run away and been found on the edge of a cliff somewhere.

And then after the joy about the new dresses, the picture on the front of the Armada Chalet School Triplets they look like they're wearing pretty shapeless frumpy sacks.

The begging Sybil to be a prefect seemed so wrong on so many levels. And I never got why Margot was games' prefect. She'd never shown particular aptitude at sports, and there were ones like Ruey around who had. And it meant that Con (again) was pushed aside with Len being head girl.

I'm coming to sing. If I have some special milk first I shall sing much better. Anyone want to join me in the shed for a warm-you-up on these cold mornings? I'll bring the milk.