Autumn Term at the Chalet School

[Vintagejazz]

Just starting a new thread here as I can't spot a new one.

So my lambs feel free to keep spreading the hanes, but watch the slang!

After an early morning up A&E with my DS (double pleuro pneumonia bronchitis blah blah, otherwise known as asthma) that was just what I needed, thank you.

Hope your DS is ok...

Thanks hels. He's totally fine now has only just stopped bouncing off the walls from salbutamol - I am seriously so grateful for the modern wonder of (judiciously administered) steroids. I know we (I) do laugh at the CS 'oh my god you looked out of the window for ten seconds, spend a week in bed as a precautionary measure', but I am always reminded how scary it must have been to have a child with breathing difficulties and know that there's no magic bullet.

He has now conked out in the buggy and I am lazily eyeing the Gillian fill-in. :)

Glad he's feeling better, Nell. Would you like us to come round and give a rousing chorus of Red Sarafan to complete the cure?

AIBU? I teach in a girls' boarding school, and they're about to up sticks and move to Switzerland. The place where they're going sounds like no end of a hole - and on top of that, no-one really values my subject, which is Maths. I've got the chance of a really good post as head of department in one of the bigger UK independent schools and I'd like to take it. My colleagues, not to mention the founder's younger sister (don't ask!) think I'm letting the side down, and they can't understand why I don't want to go to Switzerland with them. WIBU to hand in my notice and accept the new post?

Oh nell hope he's soon better and yes very worrying xx

morning definatly break away now before you turn into a foundation stone.

Aibu?

I have a new job in a school in Switzerland and it's a bit wierd.

First I keep being invited to English tea with the next door neighbour who used to be an old girl and writes school stories that I apparently should love but as I am actually 27 I find them really boring.

There's a righ little bloody show off in my class too. She rules the roost and is cheeky but again I am supposed to love her too.

There's no pubs or clubs amd we are chased up to bed at 10pm!!! by the French bint who pours the coffee.

Apparently I need to knit some crep for the sale of work whatever that is!

Worse of all I have run out of contraceptive pills but when I went for more the doctor prayed with me, have me a rosary and a chest X-ray!

Wwyd.

Thanks mornington and thebody

Bloody loving these AIBUs.

I am the Senior Mistress in a girls' boarding school. The historic custom of this school has been that, if the Headmistress is absent for a period of time, the Senior Mistress takes her place. However, I have learned that my Headmistress is to be away for a term and another, more junior, member of the staff team has been appointed as her cover. Furthermore, I have heard rumours from the shockingly indiscreet mad earphones lady next door that my Head discussed my suitability (or lack thereof) with some of the sixth formers prior to confirming the appointment. AIBU to be royally fucked off and looking for another job, perhaps at Pam Slater's school?

I am a respected and very long-serving (some might say 'foundation stone') mistress of a boarding school. I once made the mistake of making a cup of coffee for one of my colleagues. Unfortunately the coffee was rather too satisfactory and somehow I have been unwittingly appointed staff coffee maker for the last twenty years. I am heartily sick of making endless coffee for my entitled colleagues. AIBU to tell them to fuck off and make their own coffee?

YANBU as long as you use the correct language for the day to do so...

And do you reckon staff had to speak the correct language too, when they were in the staffroom??

I've been friends with this girl since I was at school. I used to really look up to her - I wasn't very confident when I was young, probably due to bring sent off to my aunt's boarding school (she wasn't even chic!).

Anyway, now I'm married to a lovely DH. We've struggled a bit over the years, but we have dd and DH has just come into some money. Only problem is my friend. She just can't stop criticising me - everything from the kind of floors in my new house to the size of my family FFS!

I'm thinking of not sending her a Christmas card this year and just letting things slide, but DH thinks I should tell her where to get off. AIBU?

Oh those are good. hels funny as.

Aibu. I have been appointed head of a school while the head has been in an accident.

Well it's a mad place.

There are unqualified old girls teaching the pupils, they have their babies with them screaming and crying disturbing the school and other staff members have to babysit them.

The head of the school calls herself Madame! Odd as thought that was a whole different profession and she's totally unqualified as well.

There are doctors walking in and out drugging the girls and the staff at random,and telling me they need to be outside as much as possible.

The worst pita is a tall dark ex pupil who keeps telling me she's the spirit of the school and keeps abducting the girls for tea parties.

Wwyd?

I have just had a beautiful baby girl. I want to call her after a girl I met a couple of times who went to a school near my boarding school. By luck I know both her first name and middle name, and want to use both. Dh says I can do as I like on names, but he's less sure about me naming her as guardian. I know I haven't seen her for 20 years, and have no idea what's happened to her since, but I'm sure she would love to have her namesake to look after. AIBU?

Aibu?

I work for a fairly high profile couple, he's a doctor and she writes books. I have no contracted hours and no statutory holidays. Every time I think life is getting easier madam has her hands full and is busy and I am back to the night feeds and knee deep in bloody nappies again.

Last week I was so pissed off I sneaked to the shops and brought their lemon biscuits and coffee cake and them some head and shoulders shampoo and thought fuck you tisanes. I also slept until 7(bliss) but told her I had been up at 5 pulling lettuces out of devotion to her. As you do.

Now she's telling her old school friends that I didn't marry that English bloke as she knew I needed her! Not true I was using him for sex! and that I would lie down and let her walk on me! Er no.

Anyway tin lid today. She's only gone and invited hoards of these old friends to a reunion. Bloody great. More work and only that daft teenager to help me.

Aibu to tell her to stuff her job up her lime green arse and go work in a tea shop in Zurich?

YADNBU. But try to spend a fortnight at Penny Rest before you take up at the Zurich coffee (surely) shop.

As for DeWee, YANBU: we all know that the kidnapper motherly person in question will adopt any child she likes the look of anyway, so you may as well smooth her path by actually nominating her as guardian in the first instance.

Also muchas gracias Lonny for the Sarafans!

AIBU? I am supposed to be Head Girl but the increasingly-cantankerous and obsessive Matron keeps hauling me out of lessons to tidy my drawers. AIBU to be v annoyed at this public undermining of my authority, in addition to feeling somewhat bemused by the idea that my drawers are arranged in any fashion other than the One True Matey Way in the first place?

My boss has just been for a short walk in a cold-but-dry Welsh October, where she held the landlord's clothes while he had a little paddle (don't ask). AIBU to quietly give her a glass of whiskey laced with four aspirins and make her sit by the fire for half the day?

So funny ^^and yes of course a coffee shop.

Yes I can't understand anyone not adoring our so dear Jo. She will of course come to a bad end as do all who dislike our spirit of the school.

Yes make dear Nell rest and maybe some special milk. Those fine eyes that never yet needed glasses mustn't succumb to a cold or pleuro pneumonia from wet tights!

Aibu?

My exquisite dd is a picture child who has been very ill but thankfully recovering now.

We are all trying to avoid this tall dark lady who has recently moved to the island. She's very loud and bossy but my dh and step daughter think she's marvellous. She keeps telling me she knows all about delicate children, she sent hers to Canada! and I need to toughen up and send cherry to boarding school.

On another tack there's a creepy naturalist that keeps hanging around the house and wants to take cherry to his island.

Aibu to tell them both to fuck off?

Years ago, my little sister was in a terrible accident. It was touch and go for a while, and the worst thing is, I caused it. I was mucking about with a pan and the hot water scalded her. Thing is, while I know this was my fault, I was only very little myself. I didn't mean it, iyswim? But my family have never forgiven me. Straight after the accident no-one talked to me for weeks - my DF especially was very cold and cruel.

My sister and I are actually fine now, she seems to get that it was an accident, but the rest of my family - especially my crazy old aunt - just can't seem to let it go. WIBU to go NC for a while, for the sake of my sanity?

Thebody are you on glue? On no account allow a creepy naturalist to take Cherry to his island. Especially with a guy from the BBC - we all know where that will end. Have you thought about calling 101?

Can I have a glass of whisky laced with four aspirins please?

Whiskey lacked with aspirins will be no help to you, Lonny my lamb. Direct your efforts into embroidery instead. Maybe if you embroider a few lime green twin sets your sins will be forvigen. If that doesn't work, perhaps you can find a way to embroider someone back from the gates of death? Then all will be forgiven and forgotten, I'm sure.

Actually crying with laughter now.

I am working on an alter cloth right now. That should calm the nerves...

Good work, Lonny - after all, your lifelong burning ambition is to go to the Kensington School of Art Embroidery for Genteel Young Ladies. Why does Madge keep bemoaning the fact that she hasn't got a nice sweet daughter when hello, here is Sybil with her total character change after the age of 9 who is, in fact, a nice sweet girly girl who wants to do altar cloth embroidery, ffs?