Did you know there was something wrong?

[User415373]

I have convinced myself that my 15 month old has cancer. I just cannot shift the feeling that there is something wrong. He's my second child and I'm very, relaxed probably isn't the right word but I follow NHS guidance and am not one to take the kids to the Dr very often. Like when he had hand foot and mouth or when my DD has chickenpox - I could see that's what it was so treat at home unless really worried. My mum has huge medical anxiety and is always convinced she's dying so I make a conscious effort to be calm about illness.
He was induced early due to slowed growth and smaller than expected but but healthy. At 3 months old he developed the most awful cough, doc said croup or bronchiolitis. I've just written it all down and since then he's has a cold, run down and spiking fever in the night at least once a month. He often wakes in the night crying and upset (in pain?) but I just thought that was normal baby behaviour and am now thinking I should have done something earlier.
At 4 months he was admitted to hospital overnight for temp and cough but they didn't find anything wrong.
He had antibiotics once for an ear infection but all others seem to have been viral.
I've been reading so many stories on here of poor poor children being diagnosed with cancer as babies or toddlers and my question is... how? Did parents just notice they seemed poorly or was it picked up in a routine appointment? I've got an appointment with a GP next week and don't know how to explain my feelings and am worried they'll just tell me it's because he's at nursery etc. What do I need to push for?

Your DC, who goes to nursery, has had a few viruses that have caused temps and completely normal childhood illnesses and from that you think he has cancer? Gently OP, unless you have specific concerns that aren't easily explained, it sounds like maybe you've also got health anxiety.

My DD had cancer diagnosed when she was 6. She developed a swelling which gradually increased until she went through an MRI and a biopsy which told us the diagnosis.

Nothing in your description is making me think cancer. I think what you should do is go to the GP, describe your worries and listen with an open mind to what they think is going on. None of us here can see or assess your DC obviously but I’m not sure it’s helpful to go determined to push for something specific.

good luck and I hope all is well.

My DC was diagnosed with cancer at 5 months old. Yes, I did know that there was something wrong - but as the previous posters have said, that was because of very specific symptoms that pointed strongly towards cancer. He wasn't actually poorly at all, not with the kind of normal childhood illnesses that you're describing in your post. But there were some very specific signs that indicated cancer (even though I was really hoping that he would be in the majority of children who had a false alarm).

The illnesses you mention happened quite a long time ago, given that your DS is now 15 months old. Has anything happened recently to make you feel uneasy?

My nephew who was diagnosed with cancer when he was six - constant bruises on his legs and during his birthday party he asked his mum to put him to bed as he was so tired, refused birthday cake etc. major alarm bell for my siblings. Little kids pick up a lot of bugs and viruses OP, it’s v normal.

I'm so sorry about your daughter's diagnosis @Mannikin and hope she and your family are ok.
Of course I'm not expecting anyone to diagnose or assess my son here (there are lots more 'symptoms' I haven't talked about for this reason) but I guess I'm just wondering how it happens, especially in terms of leukemia or other non- tumor cancers. So many symptoms are also normal for kids so how do you know when it could be cancer?
I'm feeling incredibly guilty about not taking him sooner as am afraid they'll say to wait and see how he goes, when I probably should have raised it months ago and now be at the point where they might check bloods etc. People are always commenting on how he's ill all the time, he's pale (I'm pale) etc but I just figured most kids are ill that often.
There is a history of childhood cancer on my husband's side of the family which I think is why I am feeling this sudden panic and concern.

Sorry I didn't really want to go into it all. My other child gets regularly ill but my DS is rarely well. Always ill. He has a few nights of spiking a temp at least once a month and has done since 3 months old. He gets lots of viral rashes. He wakes in the night seemingly in pain. His growth is slow though developmental milestones fine.
Is ill again at the moment and that makes 15 instances of being poorly for a week or sometimes much more in the last 14 months. And these are just the ones that I've recorded a high temp, not including where he's generally snotty and got a cold.
I'm sure it's all normal but I'm feeling terrible for not doing anything sooner.

I'm so sorry @mackerella that must have been awful.
The 2 I mentioned are just the 2 times he's had medical intervention and seen a Dr. I have called 111 about a rash once as I couldn't identify it and he was absolutely miserable but they didn't need to see him.
My DD is only 2.5 but she isn't ill half the times he is and also attended nursery from a young age. She also seems to bounce back whereas he gets so tired, so miserables and every illness lasts ages then a week later we're onto the next one.

@Longwhiskers I'm so sorry about your nephew and hope he's doing ok.
So much of what I have observed is just normal baby/toddler behaviour. Sometimes he hardly eats, sometimes he's really tired, sometimes he's really upset for no apparent reason. All normal. I just don't know why I have a weird feeling about it all. I'm not medically anxious usually in the slightest. People joke about my lack of concern about medical things or my own illnesses. I'm very much of the belief that if something was wrong, it'd be really wrong and you'd know about it. The last few months this worry about him has crept up on me from nowhere.

Hi OP, my 3 month old has been ill since birth and also quite pale and has constant swollen glands as noticed by GP.

Thank you for posting as am trying to figure out how parents warrant this to be checked. In hopes someone may actually not say “stop worrying” and really give some advice.

Hi @Cmuxx I took him to an out of hours gp a few weeks ago as he has an ear infection. She said the amount of instances of illness and a fever was unusual. He's also dropped from the 25th centile to the bottom line. She asked me to give it 3 months to see if he gets better in the warmer weather and to see what happens to his growth. Since then he's also started having nose bleeds which is another worry.
She did say that the main red flag would be failure to thrive. Are you seeing a health visitor regularly? They will be able to keep and eye on height and weight, development and any 'red flags'.

Hi@User415373 so sorry! I don’t know how I missed this. Little one has an ear infection now too. She’s been put on antibiotics to clear it and fortunately the fever has subsided so they’re not concerned anymore. We were told the exact same in regards to sit and wait to see how she gets on as “babies get lots of sicknesses”.

I am having a low threshold with this; however, so if DD does have another instance soon after again — I am going to speak with a private consultant.

Slow growth could be coeliac
Ask for a test

Hey. Did you ever find out what was wrong? How's your little one doing now?