Grandchild free, and thankful

[ThisWiseRobin]

So I have grown up kids but thought I could throw something in the mix here.
My kids DSD50, DS45, DD41 are all childless and for the most part the ship has sailed.
Dare I say I'm hugely grateful.
The world is turning into a really dangerous place. I fear for kids growing up in society that seems to have lost its moral compass with the exception of a few pockets here and there.
I occasionally look after my Goddaughter who is 2. I was asked to be Godmother because there was pretty much no one else who could and I do a bit if childcare occasionally.
I find it exhausting and boring.
I wondered if there is anyone else out there who is hugely grateful not to have grandkids, or am I weird.
For info Stepdaughter is a professional athlete and chose her sport over children.
Sons wife is older, also 50 and has never been interested in kids, she is a highly respected academic and my son is so far away with the fairies he would forget the kid on the bus.
Daughter has a highly competitive and responsible job and she and her husband agreed that no kids was the key to their lives, which are enviable.
I support them all in their decisions.
I'm interested to know if there are others out there like me.

I've accumulated ten grand baby's, apart from a handful of occasions, ten years ago, I have not participated in any baby care, or sitting. Procreating has not been a preoccupation, rather, a assortment of activities in Life's journey. I don't feel guilty and have never been approached for duties from my daughters to participate and I've always been in industrial engagement for monthly salary.

Grandbabies? Are they all infants then?

My mother has always made it clear she never wanted to be a granny and wouldn’t want anything to do with any grandchildren, so you are not alone! Unfortunately for her I’m pregnant but fortunately for her I live 250 miles away so she won’t have to do anything she doesn’t want to.

It’s perfectly reasonable of her to not want Grandchildren though. If she’s on MN she will see that most people only want grandparents involved for babysitting purposes.

I had one dc at 45, so now I'm 63 he is just off to uni. The chances are I won't be a dgm until I am well into my 70s.

I've loved being a parent and hope my ds experiences the same love & joy. I would do all I can to help if he did suddenly become a dad but I too worry that the world has gone (temporarily I hope) insane.

With luck, things will improve once the tangerine half wit has left office and the US regains its sanity.

The world will always be a shitstorm to some extent. Things won’t improve when the orange fuckwit has gone because he has set a precedent.

I find it interesting you detail the career reasons why the DSD, DD and DiL don't have children. I'm absolutely not criticising you and it's great you support them (many parents do not and complain incessantly). But I wonder if you feel people expect this sort of justification of their choices (particularly the female partners).
I'm a similar age to them, without a high flying career, and have always gone with "It's not for me" even when people look a bit baffled and expect more 😄

To my previous post, I'll add that - strictly speaking - I'm a step-grandmother. (My husband had adult children who were no longer living at home when he and his first wife split.)

On another thread, someone asked what I had done to facilitate interaction between my (now late) husband, his daughter and grandchild...

I was a bit taken aback and tried not to rise to the bait...but it dawned on me afterwards - on top of everything else, is it seen as the [step]gran's job to facilitate interaction?

I should have thought that that was the job of all the adults in a family? (And yes, I did do my bit, though it's difficult when family members are in different countries.)

I guess that it's particularly complicated in blended families. My husband's ex had three partners apart from him. Of those, two had children and grandchildren. (Her Affair Partner was childless; she and her other two partners had been widowed when they got together.)

My husband's daughter had two stepchildren and several step-grandchildren - it was one of those situations where her daughter was younger than her nieces and nephews.

DH told me that he wanted me to find another man once he was gone - I told him that I wouldn't be doing that. In all honesty, I don't think that I could cope with the complexities of a modern day blended family again.

No one sets out to be in that situation - I think that the ideal is to have one partner or spouse for life, but things aren't always that simple.

It's only now that I've written this down that I see how convoluted things can be.

Of course it is! The question OP asked was “am I alone in this” and she isn’t.

You might not be one at all.

My DD has no interest in ever having children and I have come to realize that doesn't bother me. She is only 18 but has never been the type to like children younger than her so this really may not change.

The older I get, the less patience I have for small children. I wouldn't want to have to babysit. I wouldn't want my house messed up. I love my own DD but it sort of stops there. I've never been the type who would want to hold a friend's baby--I'd rather not have to be around it! I've just always been the type who only likes my own child, I guess. So many women I know look forward to being grandparents in ten years or so but I just have so much more in my life that fulfills me. I do think if I ever were to be a grandparent, I would be fairly hands off by choice.

Im childfree by choice and married but if was single and dating i wouldnt even date someone with adult children now because of the expectation of grandparents doing childcare. Seems like it never ends

Hear hear

And the moaning i see from so called feminists on here when the grandmothers cant/wont do it

I'm childfree by choice. People said as I aged I'd regret it but I never have.

Now my friends are of grandparent age and I see them providing childcare and the toll it takes on them. I've never been more glad I didn't have children.