What’s your biggest achievement?

[LouLo72]

I hear a lot from mums that their children are their “greatest achievement”, which sometimes leads me to feel that unless you have children you’ve not really achieved as much as a parent has.

I am child free by choice but I’m often left wondering if I will achieve anything like becoming a mum and it makes me feel inferior.

What are some achievements you’ve had with or without children?

My young adult dd is fabulous, I've loved being a mum and I've found it immensely rewarding, but I don't see her as an "achievement" - she is a person in her own right, and not simply my creation.

I guess my main achievements are work related - don't want to say too much here, but I've enjoyed a successful career which has made a positive difference to lots of people.

I have some personal achievements too - goals/targets that I've set for myself that I've managed to fulfil. Again, it's quite personal so I don't want to go into too much detail.

I think achievements might be career related, academic/learning, sporting, charity/fundraising, community, hobby, personal etc.

Maybe think about what you want your legacy to be? Do you want to help other people? Do something creative like art/writing/music etc? Discover or invent something important?

Or is it less about legacy and more about personal goals/ having something to work towards etc?

My masters degree
Saved up for a dream holiday and I’ll remember it for the rest of my life
Joining a sports team in my 30s when I’d never played a team sport before. I am proud of the confidence I developed to try it out. That was a huge achievement for me

I don’t have kids and I don’t think I’ll achieve what parenting is without them, but I can fulfil other emotional roles for children in my life and I guess that could also be considered an achievement

Finding man who wanted to marry me, care for me and not expect children.

Making it this far in life (mid 40s) when I’ve wanted to give up plenty of times due to depression. Otherwise, being independent and travelling the world. Hopefully being able to buy a property mortgage free soon.

Loving someone unconditionally, the way I love my child, does feel like an achievement, especially coming from a dysfunctional family like mine. Being able to model that for my child has probably been my biggest moment.

I think that’s what our children teach us, but people often struggle to put it into words when they try to explain why their children are their biggest achievements.

I feel my greatest achievement is building a good happy life despite not being able to have children (fertility issues).

I overcame a drug addiction, 15 years clean & sober.

That is amazing, well done.

Why would you allow someone to make you feel inferior? Having children is something most people do; it’s what happens when you have unprotected sex. That’s not an achievement.

My greatest achievement has been not having children. I’ve bowed to societal pressure on a lot of things over the last twenty years, skinny jeans, kitchen island, decking, but I didn’t give in and have children.

Sending you some love 🩷

You’re not ok

It's a toss-up between driving coast to coast across Australia and giving up smoking.

Oh, and not punching the person who actually said "you don't have children, you wouldn't understand".

Training for and running 3 marathons! Especially as a slower runner. Those training miles are tough

So many: getting a degree, marrying the love of my life, learning to scuba dive, travelling, writing a book, living in different towns, losing weight, learning something new every day, yoga and meditation benefits, teaching myself how to ride a bike as an adult, meeting people who fascinate me. I don't really consider having children as an 'achievement' - more like a biological urge. Like, you don't study for it.

Creating a happy life for myself - financially independent since leaving home, now mortgage free, pets, holidays, hobbies.

I mean, I haven't achieved anything as such but similarly I dont require life to have "meaning". Just rocking up, getting on with it, enjoying all the good bits, enduring the bad bits. That's enough.

My degree and having a career I love. Cats, a car and my own house.

Probably being the first person in my family to go to university having grown up on a council estate in a small mining town in the 1980s. The only people my family ever encountered who had been to university were the local doctors. I was a fish out of water among all the middle class people at university, then when I came home I was a fish out of water there, too.

Choosing to remain childfree was an achievement of sorts as well. Where I grew up, nobody ever questioned getting married young & having kids, it was just what everyone did. I was the odd one out in so many ways.

Your teachers should have been to uni too, presumably

In those days many had been to teacher trading colleges or FE colleges rather than ‘proper’ universities.

Having a career where I work to protect vulnerable people in society. I'm very proud of what I do.

Sustaining a 20 year relationship. We're not married but are doing better than most couples I know.