Single life and lack of physical contact

[PauliesWalnuts]

I am single, no kids, (or any family tbh). Early 50s. Last relationship ended nearly two years ago. Not sexually active since (no interest in FWB or ONS) and although I miss sex, I can live without it and just DIY it.

What I AM missing, is physical contact - just the normal stuff; hugs and the odd kiss. I work from home 50% of the time (although don't hug colleagues as a rule!) and see my friends every week so so, although they aren't really huggers. I realised at the dentist last week that I can't remember the last time I was physically touched by another human. I'm not an overtly touchy-feely person, but I've actually booked in at the beauticians for a massage because it's starting to really get me down. Does anyone else feel like this or am I turning into some kind of weird contact pervert?

I feel like this and I AM in a relationship. I have to figure out what to do about it. A massage from a stranger wouldn't help me, I don't think.

I thought the same this week and it really upset me. DH and I, still under same roof but divorcing, and been growing apart for years.

I can’t remember the last time we cuddled in bed. I miss that, wrapping myself around someone. All the hugs from my friends don’t make up for it. I didn’t imagine I’d feel like this in my 50’s honestly.

It’s crap isn’t it? I didn’t realise how negatively it would affect me. I can’t just ask people for a cuddle (lol) and after a really bruising breakup I am in no rush to get out there but other than a massage I can’t think of another solution. And massages aren’t cheap!

I agree. However recent events have proven to me beyond all reasonable doubt, it’s not worth it - the missing of physical contact is far less of a problem to deal with than attempting to solve that little problem.
If I need something to cuddle it’ll be my cats or one of those body pillows. Far less drama and hassle.

Yes, I find it really hard too. My marriage was pretty crap and I didn't get any affection from ex for years before we divorced. I had been thinking the same sort of things....should I book a massage, cuddle the cat, squeeze random people on the street. I don't know how to solve the problem so I guess it's just about getting used to being on my own. Not easy though.
I don't miss sex at all but then I'm a bit older than you. The men my age and older on the apps are still obsessed by it and I look at their photos and think they look so old......then I look in the mirror.....think 'who's that old bag'? 🙃

Csn you get a pet? My dog is extremely helpful for hugs!

Op I believe there are people who you can hire for a hug.... please send them my way when you finish. Been single over 4 years now. Hugs are the thing I miss the most

Sorry you feel like this OP. I’m a fair bit younger than you, but in a relationship and it’s dead, no easy way out.
The last time I enjoyed a hug was with a man from my hobby group at Christmas 🙈 but that was a one off and I can’t think I’ll be hugged again in a long while.

You are in charge of your own destiny. Would you not consider the dating apps again? Do you have any male friends? I do think hug from the opposite sex, although platonic, can be nice.

I feel the same

My cat is the king of cuddles. It’s not the same as having a big strong human man to hug, but my stripy beefcake of a boy is much less complicated.

I’d also recommend a pet. I prefer cuddling my dog more than any human and he’s so much more grateful and loving.

The problem is, I'm highly allergic to all cats, and most dogs, and my lifestyle isn't really conducive to pet ownership - I'm out long days, budget does not stretch to pet walkers or insurance, and I have nobody to step in who is local. God if I could get a fake hugging boyfriend off LoveHoney I'd be straight in there.... :-)