Christmas leave dispute Parents v. ill husband.

[JenniferBooth]

Not me but from a magazine.

Its tearing the team apart.
I work in a team of eight. For time off people with families usually have the school holidays and those of us without children at home take other times. But one of the group has asked if she could have Christmas this year.
I know its because her husband is ill. It may be his last Christmas although she doesnt want to say that. Everyone agrees except one person and thats enough to stop it. What can we do about the situation?

The answer was, Your colleague must be open.......she will need all your support soon. Or you could have a quiet word with the boss, asking it be kept confidential but explaining the reason. Try taking the person aside to find out more or call a team meeting, say that everyone is in agreement and ask them to withdraw the objection. If she has a smidgeon of sensitivity she should twig there is a good reason and back down.

Im a bit WTF at the advice that the woman with the ill husband should disclose private information if she doesnt want to

Why does each person on a team have veto power? It should be majority wins.

I dont see why eight people need to agree. It needs one person in charge to decide, as fairly as possible.

In this case I would firstly try to persuade the colleague to speak to the boss herself. Secondly, if i weren't breaking a confidence i would have a discreet word with the boss. Having a team call without your colleague's explicit agreement would be horrendous!

And going forward i would challenge the expectation that people with children have first dibs on Christmas. Everyone needs to take their turn.

This is slightly pointless of me to ask since you are not the person involved.
Why is one person arguing about this enough to throw everything off - is this not one childfree person who wants it off, so if others are happy, that’s enough to do the swap?
Why are they even allowed to argue - either they have leave which has already been approved in which case I would say I don’t think it should be cancelled, or they don’t, in which case they don’t have a leg to stand on. Why is the manager of this team so ineffectual? Why does this policy exist? Even if everyone was genuinely happy with it (because it mentions school holidays I’m wondering if it’s a workplace that is closed on bank holidays so the days in dispute are the other weekdays around it, in which case I’m sure some people would be totally fine with the arrangement), there was always a chance that something could happen to throw it off, like has happened here, or simply a new team member joining who sees it as unfair.

I don't understand, why does everyone have to agree, does your workplace only operate when 7 people are in, so only 1 person can be off at a time? Is the request she gets all the leave so noone else can get anything at all?

Having a team call without your colleague's explicit agreement would be horrendous!

Totally agree Terrible advice

Why does one person get a veto? Can't one of the people with kids just give up their days off for her?

Also that's a shit way to arrange who gets time off. People without kids have families too!

Is the definition of 'people without families mean people without children? Many of us without children still have families who we want to see at major festivals. The leave should be allocated fairly across anyone who wants it IMHO.

I don't agree with their policy that people without children don't get Xmas off. Xmas should be fairly allocated. Of course this person should be granted the leave.

The way leave is managed seems silly to me. The manager should be taking control and granting or declining leave requests. I do also think the manager should know what the person is going through, it's highly likely that it's going to impact on their work. I'm guessing management is shit there in general. I'd definitely be sharing something that significant with my manager and I'd be confident that I would be supported. It seems the person in question doesn't feel that way.

Absolutely outrageous EVERYONE should have the same chance of getting Christmas off irrespective of home circumstances
having kids shouldn’t give anyone priority

@JLou08 I sense a manager with no backbone

I don't see why anyone should justify their circumstances in order to get their fair share of Christmas leave. Not everyone wants to share every detail of their private lives with colleagues, as is their right.

A strict rota is the only way to manage this unless circumstances are exceptional (a terminally ill relative being one of them). No one needs to know those circumstances other than the line manager.

I agree It seems to me that in that work place as i suspect in many others you have to justify it if you are not a parent.

And there are many employers who still think family friendly only means kids.

The manager should be flexible and allow her time off as well. If the team rules and culture need to be changed then so be it. It sounds very outdated as it is anyway so can only be a good thing!

The way this company allocates leave is illegal and this person should challenge it. Nobody should be discriminated against for any reason especially in a business setting. To be honest this feels more like a bitchy book club then anywhere that could turn a profit.

This. When l ran rotas then it was based on fairness. Not if you have children. It’s neither here nor there really