Not having children

[curiousS]

May not be the right place to post but didn't know where else to post...
Do you ever come to terms with not having children if you want them?
I'm almost 40. Singe and always wanted to have a family but not in a desperate way. I was always happy to let nature take its course.
I always believed it would happen if and when it's meant to be.
Well. It hasn't happened. I've not dated much. Even though conventionally speaking I'm attractive enough and have the right attributes.
I'm so laid back and easy going that I genuinely do get along with most people.
I always thought it would happen easily for me. But, here we are.
I'm not the kind of person who would want to do it alone. I wanted a family. I come from a two parent family with 3 siblings so I always wanted the same.
Now, the harsh reality is that I'm nearly 40 and my time has passed.
I would never do IVF. I feel quite sad about it.
Do you get over the feelings? I'm sure you do but is it always going to sting?

I had most certainly not come to terms with it when I was 40. Over time I gradually accepted that not having children was going to be the story of my life. I feel for you. I have adjusted and accepted but it took time and therapy xx

Hi OP. I posted on your other thread, here is what I said

Hi OP. Yes you can come to terms with a life without children even if you wanted them. I tried IVF and it didn’t work. I’m 63 and I’m at peace and content with my life. That said I do have a husband. I was able to retire at 58 and DH and I have done loads of travelling and lots more to come.

Some posters here wanted children, others like myself are childfree by choice. Hopefully you'll find some like minded people here Op rather than judgement.

Thank you. I saw that. I appreciate your reply.
Hopefully I'll meet someone and have different experiences too 🥰

My circumstances were very similar to you OP. It was hard to come to terms with at first, but I’ve just turned 44 and am now at peace with it, excited even about another life path. I actually think being slightly older helps because it feels like a done deal. At 40 I knew there was minimal chance but not no chance iyswim. Now it feels finite and other people stop asking too. I’m a lot happier and it didn’t require therapy, just time and good friends to talk to

It’s hard.

For me, I think it was the single-ness even more than the childlessness. I’m moderately attractive, pleasant, nice kind person with a good career. But permanently single.

if I were a man , I’d have been a very hot property in my 40s. My late 30s and 40s were really tough at times.

But it gets better. It really does. I have a fantastic life. I don’t think I could be bothered with a man in it, particularly when I read the Relationships and AIBU boards.

But I know from hard experience that saying that to you doesn’t help. It sucks.