Where can I go at Christmas to avoid all the family stuff?

[sadsister23]

I don't have children even though I'd like to and it's looking unlikely that I will be able to have any of my own so I am currently grieving that. I really struggled last year with the emphasis on family at Christmas time and seeing all my friends and peers with their children having a lovely time. My best friend has just announced her pregnancy and, whilst I am happy for her, it has hit me hard as it's another person who won't be around and another relationship that will change.

It may be a bit early to be thinking about this but does anyone have any ideas of somewhere I can go reasonably inexpensively for a few days over Christmas to escape it all? I have a partner but he enjoys spending Christmas with his family so I will probably go alone.

@Fofftwenty21 thank you so much. Staying at home and doing all those things sounds idea but in my experience if you are at home, friends/family expect you to participate and don't respect your reasons why you don't want to. 'But you have a house, a job and a partner, you should be grateful' they chorus, not understanding how I can be grateful for those things and still sad that I don't have my own children. It's so easy for them to say when they have their own families and have no idea what it's like to want one and not have one, especially at Christmas time.

Yes @sadsister23 I understand. I mentioned once to family that I found Christmas difficult and was told "Don't worry its only about the kids for the next ten years or so" which was obviously very helpful! I don't confide in that person anymore because I know she can't be supportive in a way that is helpful rather than dismissive.

You could also say you are volunteering so will be doing your own thing over Christmas and offer to meet them before or after. If they won't respect your reasons then I would try and go away even if its somewhere nearby for a couple of nights if you can.

Otherwise options are to lie possibly and say you're going away and then not - depends on what you feel comfortable with doing. Or that you feel ill and need to leave early.

If you feel you can't get out of going - I'd also have a think about what specifically will be difficult for you - is it having everyone together with their kids and everything being so child focused? Particular traditions etc and see what you can opt out of - can you arrive later and leave earlier for example.

@Fofftwenty21 ugh sorry to hear your family are so insensitive. I would like to avoid the whole of December if I could!

Thank you for your considered response of different options I have over the Christmas period - it has been really helpful to see different possibilities of how to (not) engage with Christmas in black and white. For me, it's the happy families thing that I find really upsetting so if I do decide to join in, it will only be for a short while.

I really appreciate you and everyone else taking he time to reply to me and offer empathy and suggestions. It helps me to feel less alone, and less unreasonable for putting my needs first.