Marriage/LTR when you are childless/childfree

[KimberleyClark]

I’ve been reading the thread about the trend for women over 50 to up and leave their husbands/partners. I’m gobsmacked how many women are just waiting for their children to leave home before they leave. If you are older and married/in LTR how do you feel about your partner? I’m very happy with mine. He obviously had his faults but I cam live with them!

I think the important difference is being child free @KimberleyClark, if you don't have children and the relationships gone bad then you just make plans to leave and go. A lot of women can't cope with the idea of a 50/50 arrangement with their children, they'd rather sit tight until the kids have grown up then only see them half the week.
I've been with my DP for many years and I've often noticed the difference between our relationship and the ones where they've had DC, if there's only the two of you then you don't have all the problems that DC can bring- money/space/ no time to yourself/finding out your wanted to be a parent and the other one's just letting you get on with it - they all effect the romantic relationship you started off with. I think if you get to 30 years + together and you're still friends you've done well 😁

We've been married nearly 20 years, had ups and downs but fundamentally we love each other, we like similar or compatible things and we can tolerate each other's foibles.

I wonder, with these women who are waiting till their DC leave home to divorce, how much of that is simply procrastination. Even taking children out of the equation, it isn't straightforward to unpick a long marriage. There's going to be a financial/lifestyle hit for both spouses.

I agree, children are one less thing to cause stress or arguments in a marriage!

Been married 44 years and we are happy and still in love. Definitely put a lot of that down to not having children and all the stress that can involve.

Among our friends and family the childfree couples definitely seem happier than the couples with children

I have kids (sorry I know- but I love this board, you guys are so thoughtful and often see things in a way that challenges and reframes things for me- also your weekends often sound idyllic) and agree with PP that they provide an additional stress to marriage as well a compelling reason to stay.

I'm head over heels with my husband, have been for 15 years and 3 kids. But if I wasn't, and it was endurable, I'd endure it for 100% access to the kids.

I can see why long term childfree relationships would be deeper in a different way, 20 or 30 years in. You've been each other's special person without kids taking up a huge part of that emotional and physical space. That's special!

I love my husband, we've been together 20 years, he's a good friend, a rock, still have a spark between us, we laugh every day. I feel very lucky and content.

Him as a father though? I'd have probably divorced him. And he'd have wanted to divorce me!

I've seen the stress that kids puts onto a marriage, I'm not myself when I'm stressed, but also I know there would be resentment.

I know I'd have been the proactive, responsible 'default' parent.