My reasons

[JamSandle]

I've known since I was a child that I didn't want children.

Although my hormones kick in occasionally and try to convince me otherwise, there are a lot of reasons why for me.

The idea of being pregnant has always made me feel disgusted - the idea of something living in my body scares me.

The idea of childbirth is even more scary. The pain of labour, the fact that so many things could go wrong, the baby could die, you could die, the baby could be born with complications you're not prepared for and so on.

The thought of being unwell whole pregnant - nausea, sickness, having a miscarriage...I HATE pain. I am pain averse.

My body changing beyond my control.

My mum who is a fantastic mother told me that although she loved being a mum and never regretted it, if she had life over she wouldn't do it again.

Many of my friends with children tell me not to do it - they're exhausted, stressed, marriage problems or just no longer in love, worried about the world, their kids are addicted to gaming or growing up with an uncertain future in an uncertain world.

The loss of freedom.

I dont enjoy sex that much. I wouldn't want to have sex regularly for years on end to conceive and then have to continue to keep a relationship.

Between the pain, risk and unknowns it seems like a totally illogical choice.

I know motherhood is beautiful. I wouldn't be here without a mother! But for me...it fills me with negative feelings.

Does anyone else feel this way? I know it's natural to want to reproduce but it's like I'm worried oppositely...everything about it seems unnatural to me.

• should say wired differently.

I know exactly how you feel. I could have written this post myself.

I agree with all of your reasons, plus I am autistic so I know there's no way I'd be able to cope with the stress, upheaval, noise, and unpredictability of having children.

Having children does not make sense rationally, but people aren't necessarily thinking rationally when they do it; it's almost always an emotional decision.

Yep me. I'd be an absolutely terrible parent. I don't have the patience and I'm far too selfish. Knew it when I was 5!

Quite simply, I just don't like children. And I don't really like how people become when they have children (boring and incredibly selfish unless you're part of their "little family"). I can't stand noise or drama either so add it all together and parenthood is not for me.

I'm lucky as my childhood best friend feels exactly the same way so I've never felt like the odd one out.

I've been told by people that I'd make a great parent as they see how I am with my pets. 🙄The difference being I like my pets. 😂

I don’t have any reasons, I just don’t want children, the same way I don’t want lots of things and not having children is my natural state so I’ve never really thought about why I don’t them.

Your reasons for not having children are pretty much identical to mine, and like you I decided early on - aged 15, IIRC. I'm not sure that my mother enjoyed motherhood that much - she was quite emotionally distant - so I had no positive feelings growing up about the whole thing. And like another pp, I don't like children that much. I didn't even like them when I was one. So all in all, I couldn't see the point.

I know I'd be a terrible mum; I couldn't cope with the stress and anxiety of children; and I'm squeamish about pregnancy.

Overwhelmingly, I couldn't bear the sight and sound of a mini-me running around imitating all my faults and idiocies. It would be like having to watch a video of myself all day long, a permanent state of cringing. I'd dislike my child as much as I dislike myself, and they'd probably grow up as damaged as I did.

I also knew from somewhere in single digits of age I never wanted children. I too am terrible with pain, would never be able to go through pregnancy and childbirth. I can't stand a lot of noise and I get tired very easily, wouldn't have the energy for kids. I also don't want to pass on any of my genes! I'd hate to see a child with any of my negative traits or health issues.

Similar reasons, OP, on top of never having liked children. I wasn't wild about them when I was one. Plus the only man I would have wanted to make love with wasn't available, and I couldn't have afforded children even if I'd wanted them.

There aren't enough positives to make me want one. I'm easily stressed and need a lot of alone time, so I think the things that make children worthwhile for others probably wouldn't hit the same for me. The only real drive on my part would be some kind of perceived social acceptance, which is a terrible reason to have a child. 😬

This comment makes me feel very seen! Parenthood has turned my friends and my sisters into people that I don’t even recognise anymore, and it really does feel like they are in a special club that just doesn’t allow people without children- people who were never dull and self involved before have had a total personality transplant and it’s so sad that as someone child free, you just lose them. They cease to have any interest in you, and it’s awful that wanting to be part of the club again is a driver when it definitely shouldn’t be.

Really resonate with just not liking kids that much- I feel awkward around them and don’t know what to say or do, I’m not a silly voices person and just don’t know how it comes naturally!

Same, I don’t know what to talk about with children. I have no books or programs in common with them. I’ve never heard of most of the stuff around now, nor am I interested in finding out about children’s interests. I don’t want to be around anyone who runs around and screams, either, regardless of their age!

People are constantly trying to convince me to have kids but I've always felt they're just not compatible with my or my partner's personalities. While neither of us have any sort of diagnosis we have lots of ASD traits (e.g. he's very sensitive to sound/light/touch, I'm awful at reading/understanding people and constantly having to get him to explain to me). Neither of us had an easy time as kids and I genuinely worry that together we could end up having a kid who finds the world very very tough. Some people would be an amazing parent to a child like this but I don't think it would be us sadly.

I've never thought of a list of reasons why not, I've just never had a list of reasons why I would.

I could have written this!!

Also, factors out of my control - i woulnt want a boy and you can't pick gender.

i also find baby bumps horrific to see, makes me really squeamish.

I can't think of a single good thing about having children. I've never wanted them.

When I was in my 20s I wanted children. It didn't last long.

I dont have the patience to deal with children 24/7. I adore my nieces and I'm a brilliant Auntie (I have this on good authority) but I've always liked doing things with them then taking them home

I remember staying for a few days with a friend who has 3 kids. It was lovely but I remember coming home & sitting with a glass of wine marvelling at the silence.

I don't feel I've missed out at all. I just don't have that maternal gene.

i also find baby bumps horrific to see, makes me really squeamish

I remember being at a friend's when she was very pregnant. We were sitting talking and the baby moved, you could see this fist pushing her skin up and moving across her stomach as it did. I hated seeing that it was so weird