Childfree people - hello!

[EmmaEmerald]

AIBU to want to just say hello, good evening, etc etc to childfree posters

(I thought the childfree board was too good to be true and so it turned out this way....mega eye roll).

So can I just say hi to childfree people! Cos I feel like saying hi 🤗

All you all on reddit or something like that? I find the layout of Reddit a pain, plus it seems mostly on a different time zone.

Hi @EmmaEmerald ,I am not on readit or any other sm platforms .
I am glad there is a childfree space on here but it have been on mn for about 5 yrs and managed without it

I’m in private/secret FB groups and have a few hundred cf women internet friends for about a decade now :)

Hi there!

I can't get on with Reddit.

Hello! Yes I’m on Reddit. It’s a very different place to mn. Some boards are largely populated by other time zones, have you tried those boards with uk in the title..?

Hi there. I don't use any other platforms.
👋🏻

Why is it too good to be true?

@DidiAskYouThough ooh, maybe I'll join Facebook after all. Do they take ID or something these days I heard?

@Alphabet1spaghetti2 oh right, I'll see if there's a UK childfree on there, thanks!

@LoobyDop well, I can't recall exactly what happened but I think we started as childfree MNers and now here we are....mixing childless and childfree makes no sense! People start threads and I discover it's from a totally different perspective.

it was too good to be true for MN to have a childfree section and there may be issues with marketing etc and the commercial positioning of the site.

But hi all and thanks for saying hi! I'd love to meet childfree women IRL but I admit, I don't like to go out of area and I'm no longer able to drive. Some people get lucky though, my sister has mostly childfree friends but lives in another part of the country so can't help out. Her circle formed organically. My circle all had kids, she has been ever so lucky that hers didn't.

My mum was approached by a new neighbour with a baby, saying she's new in the area, lonely, and told mum "I see you have a daughter about my age, perhaps we can meet". Wrong, I'm much older. But while I feel sorry for her, I cannot face that stage of "friends with babies" again.

Mum said the poor lady is really struggling with PND so mum herself went online and found mum and baby groups for her to join.

So bored of the rude and obnoxious re-writing of history

So sorry the presence of the childless women who fought for this board makes you eye roll

@Neitheronethingnortheother "So sorry the presence of the childless women who fought for this board makes you eye roll"

I didn't follow it, I was ill at the time. I think some childfree people fought for a board?

no, I cba to look back at threads.

I remember an announcement from MN saying the board would change.

Wouldn't separate childfree and childless make more sense? I said it at the time of the announcement. I just do not think they are mergeable topics.

anyway, I suspect that's my cue to try Reddit and Facebook. I find the Reddit display weird but I guess I'll get used to it.

well, I can't recall exactly what happened but I think we started as childfree MNers and now here we are

No. The board was petitioned for and fought for by both childfree and childless women. We then asked MN to change the title to reflect it.

There have been no issues with mixing other than people saying “it doesn’t work” or “it makes no sense”, without explaining why. The threads are a mixture of celebratory, practical and support-seeking and everyone muddles along together.

You have been told repeatedly on previous threads that childless people fought for the board too. But you seem to conveniently forget it until you pop you a few months later to complain again that it can't possibly work when the only person making it a problem most of the time (apart from the parents) is you.

I use Reddit app, that’s easy to use, well I find it easier than the website pages. Maybe it would work for you? Facebook can be exceedingly weird, and some groups are very territorial and seem to hark back about 100 years. (Only my opinion though).

@Neitheronethingnortheother I can barely remember my name after my nervous breakdown, apologies.

it was originally called Childfree Mumsnetters though, right?

@Alphabet1spaghetti2 thanks. I hark back 100 years though - okay maybe not, just the 90s 😂

It was originally called Mumsnot

There's never been any issues between the child-free and childless posters on this board and the merging of the two absolutely makes sense. For all of our differences in how we arrived here-we have a lot of common ground, too.

I really don't understand why we have to keep having these posts when no issues between the groups has happened. The only issues on this board has been caused by parents who have taken it upon themselves to invade the board and tell us how wrong we all are (and those people don't discriminate-they tell both childfree and childless people the same!) (Note: I'm not talking about all parents who are or have posted here-some have been very nice and insightful).

Oh, and people complaining that the two groups are merged into one board. I just don't know why it's an issue for you or anyone else. Yes, there are differences but I'd like to think we're all adults and capable of sensitivity, are we not? If I, a childfree woman, see a thread from a childless woman grieving or being upset about this, I'm going to stay clear of that thread because I have nothing of value to offer.

I will just stick to threads that pertain to me and my situation. This isn't difficult.

I demand a board for childfree straight married women who voted Remain. Oh, and no Southerners, please, or Manchester United fans. Or vegans. Or people who watch reality tv. Or who enjoyed lockdown and think we should do it again.

@LoobyDop do you accept widows and ( house) cat lovers ?😃

It was an error to omit the requirement for cat loving, sorry. And I’m fine with them playing out 😀

When we had our big discussion about setting up this board, it was clear that many of us had started out unhappily childless, but we’re now happily childfree - so making the distinction between the two for a large number of women is meaningless. Unless you’re trying to sow the seeds of division between two groups whose lives are now very similar, and who deal with all the same issues. I’m not sure why you’d do that.

I don’t use any other social media, because I find them, mainly, puerile, and I like the generally intelligent, often robust, debate and the warmth of many of the people here. The support I feel from this particular group of women without children is very welcome, and I don’t think you’ll manage to create the schism you seem to crave.

@LoobyDop , I will bring him when he wakes up 😺

Hi I’m child free always happy to chat 👋

Hello lovely childfree ladies.
I am new to this forum and am looking at making some childfree connections ☺️

I am due to be married next year which I’m very excited about. Me and my partner are both in our late twenties and inevitably some of our friends are starting to have or already have children, prompting the frequent comment: “it will be you next!!” 🙄 We are pretty certain we will remain childfree, but I just wondered if anyone had any firm but polite (ish) ways of saying to people that we don’t want children. I don’t know why but it feels so uncomfortable acknowledging that fact aloud never mind saying it out loud to people who have or plan to have children (majority of my friends). It honestly feels like a crime to say it out loud 🫠
I think you can still love and embrace the children in your life without actually wanting to become a parent!!! ☺️

Thanks for reading and sorry for any rambling. Hope you all have a merry Christmas 🎄 🥳

@MisstobeMrsin2024 in my 20s I used to like to make a point of telling people I didn't want them, but now in my mid-30s I've decided to pick my battles. It's none of their business anyway. How I react depends on who it is - e.g. today I told a nice (but not very clever) lady at work that DH is working Christmas and she said, oh you'll need to save the Christmases off for when the babies come. I just laughed it off and said she'll be waiting a while, etc. She didn't mean any harm, she's just a bit daft. Mostly I just ignore it and change the subject. My parents were bringing it up too often though so I did have to sit them down and tell them it's not in our plans and to stop asking.

I also witnessed my BIL and SIL pointedly including in their wedding vows that they never wanted children. A year later she was pregnant... So I just don't think there's any need to make a big show of your plans, first of all as it's nobody's business as I said, and second of all because it's embarrassing if you change your mind and have made a big deal.

I used to look at them very shocked and exclaim (whilst clutching my invisible pearls) “oh good god no dear!” a la Greg Davies style. Worked a treat.

If I wasn’t feeling generous, I would just look them dead in the eye and say “no I just kill them.” (my body literally went into white cell killer mode asap once pregnant and I never was going to be able to deliver an alive child and science hadn’t come up
with any treatment etc).

so depended on how I felt about the person asking. @MisstobeMrsin2024

@Possimpible and @Alphabet1spaghetti2 thank you both so much for your quick responses 🤗🤗

It is true that it’s no one else’s business, but ourselves and partner’s. I like the points you make about picking your battles and basing your answers on who has asked. ☺️

It does make sense to give non committal responses either way! I’ll take this on board for sure. I just need to self accept and work on my self esteem… ultimately that’s what it boils down to. A lack of self confidence.

Just need to remind myself that I can be happy in either version of my life and there’s not a perfect way to live, with or without children.

Thank you both for your time!