Childfree / childless people and siblings

[SoRainbowRhythms]

Please note this is the childfree forum and I am seeking opinions from childfree / childless people

The retirement thread just got me thinking - are any of your siblings also without children? How do your parents / in laws feel / felt?

I have a 31 year old single brother who doesn't want children. DH's DB and his wife are also childfree by choice.

My parents are super supportive of us and don't feel any sadness in not being grandparents (they are not the most "parent-y" people!).

MIL tries to lay on a little guilt trip every now and then but is quickly shot down. DH's grandmother told him she was proud of his decision and that bringing a child into the world right now is not what she wants to see. She also doesn't qns to be considered old enough to be a great grandmother 😂

I also have 14 cousins and only one of them had children.

Realising my entire family is pretty childfree and wondering if we're not normal!

Both my and DH's brothers are childfree as are DH and I. We both have sisters who have provided grandchildren (and now great-grandchildren) and there was never any pressure. My sister has expressed mild regret that her two didn't have cousins to play with when young, and MIL is more worried about the fact that her son doesn't have a partner (but seems very happy). So all good really.

My sister and I are early/mid 30s and neither have children, or plans to have them (as far as I know). My parents aren't too happy I don't think, I've always said I didn't want children and been brushed off as 'you'll change your mind when you're older', but now that I am indeed older the comments have started from them about how nice it would be to have a grandchild, what I'm missing out on etc. My SIL just had a baby and my mum knitted a blanket for him since 'she won't have the opportunity to knit for her own daughters' 🙄 I find it upsetting if I'm honest, but I also think maybe they should reflect on our childhoods given neither of us are keen to have our own children (not abusive, just... stressful and emotionally unsupportive maybe?). My sister recently split with her long term partner so that's a more complicated situation.

Didn't think in-laws cared but DH's siblings are both new parents and there is an element of them now being the most important parts of the family so. Yeah. Ouch

Two DBs - one has a son, the other a son and a daughter. No-one has ever raised my CF status - at least, not with me. Late DM I suspect wouldn't have had children if she'd had the choice but she was married in the 1950s, it was expected she'd have children. She never said anything to me about me being CF, either.

Both of us are child free - me and my sister. No guilt from parents when they were alive.
dh has a sister and both are child free, his other sister has children and a grand children. His parents actively supported her in having children, also said they hoped we never had any children as they didn’t want anything to do with them.

His parents actively supported her in having children, also said they hoped we never had any children as they didn’t want anything to do with them

Those empathetic parents again, eh?

There are three of us and we have one child between us. My husband’s siblings have two each, and all my cousins have them. But of six women in my mum’s generation, three stayed child free. I think two of them by choice and one not.

My mum desperately wanted more grandchildren, but to be fair to her loudly defends my choice not to, says it’s none of her business and she doesn’t mind. I don’t think my dad cares much and doesn’t really spend much time with my nephew. My stepdad is vocal about his disappointment and says the prospect of more grandchildren was the main reason he married my mum and he feels cheated. Doesn’t endear him to anyone. No idea what my in-laws think, but if they’re disappointed they should have brought their son up with fewer issues.

There are other grandchildren on my parents side so there aren't really any issues from my parents side. Although I think if there hadn't been granchildren from my siblings my parents would have said more, my mother started making baby stuff from the moment one of her children got married so there was a pretty strong assumption of grandchildren somehow

My DHs brother is permanently single so there are no grandparents on my inlaws side and whilst they never put any pressure on us for kids I do sense they are sad they are missing out on experiencing grandchildren but they never really broach the subject

@MrsDanversGlidesAgain it worked out fine as we couldn’t have children anyway . Although by the time we knew for sure, we had already decided children weren’t for us anyway.

the funny thing is, I was the one expected to take care off all the parents. Which I did, to a point, then by ensuring they went into a care home.

My DB has 2 kids, & they have cousins on SIL’s side. I don’t believe my parents would ever have put pressure on any of us but I know they loved being grandparents, so I’m glad they had the chance.

Neither my sister nor I have children (she's late 40s I'm early 50s). Both our parents are quite self-centred and neither could give a hoot about grandchildren.

I have one sibling who has one child.

My DH has two siblings, each with one child, one of whom is an adult.

So although we're the only childfree ones, our families aren't exactly bursting at the seams with children!

We will both leave something to our neices/nephews and to extended family although it will partly depend on which of us outlives the other. And as I've said on another thread, I don't plan to leave much in my bank account! 😁

My brother and I are both childfree. My sister has stepchildren. No idea if she and her DH will have their own children though.

I think my parents don't seem that bothered. But in my case it's medical stuff that stops me from having children. They both know that.

My sister is childless (I am childfree). I don't think my parents mind - in my opinion, my parents should never have had children and I certainly wouldn't think they could be trusted with grandchildren.

My only sibling is childless, as am I. Our only cousin is also childless. My grandfather was one of 17 children!

My parents don't seem to mind. My father said he was relieved not to be doing childcare!

DH is an only child, and I have one DB, also childless/free. None of the family have ever made the slightest thing of it, one way or the other, and I love them for it. My mum recently said to me (now DB and I are in our fifties) that she’s very glad that we haven’t got to try to help children navigate the world the way it is now. I am inclined to agree with her.

One sibling is childfree like me. One has a couple of offspring. My DM tried the "I need grandchildren" persuasion on me for years, but once I passed my mid-30s she abandoned it. It was never going to work anyway! DH has two siblings as well, one with a kid and one without.

I'm one of five. My oldest sister is childfree like me but the younger ones (boy and two more girls) all have children. Our brother has one and not planning anymore and our sisters have 3 and 4.

Mother loved the idea of being a matriarch of a large family and saw my sister and I as failures. We both have good careers but that doesn't count as a woman's only worth js to have children. What's scary is when I see that attitude in here. At least my mother had the excuse of being born in the 50's.

Anyway, dad is the complete opposite and really values us and likes to spend as much time with my sister and I as possible. He's not really into having grandchildren and not close to any of them. He didn't want a big family either and wanted to stop after I was born.

My partner has two adult kids but they don't speak to us. He's planning on leaving them some inheritance, but we've decided that most of our money is going to be invested in us having a good time and lots of holidays 😁

My sister has never wanted kids. I think my parents are gutted but have never said anything. I desperately want children, but have never met anyone. Despite trying. I'm absolutely devastated that I don't have any brides or nephews. And am gutted that my parents are not grandparents.

We are childfree by choice, as is DP’s sibling. My sibling has one child.

My mum, in particular, was upset that we were not going to be having children. It’s something she struggled to get her head round, as she comes from a big Irish Catholic family and would have loved a houseful of grandchildren and big ‘supermarket advert’ style family Christmases.

It’s a shame she felt like that, because her feelings were never going to have any influence on my decisions. It’s my life, and being a parent was just never, ever going to happen. Eventually she accepted it, but te reality is that she didn’t have much choice.

Both me and DP are onlies so no siblings. My mother absolutely fine with me not having kids (no dad in the picture). DP's mum would certainly have loved grandchildren given that she wanted more kids herself but was sadly unable to have more after DP. Not raised the issue with me, I guess she knew I didn't want any nor did DP, but did drop some hints to him at least.

I am in my 30s and I have 3 younger siblings, all older than 25. No kids between us. I think the reason is due to our disruptive childhood, as our parents were younger than my youngest sibling is now when she was born.

I think there will be some children from them in the future, but at much older ages to our parents.

I'm the youngest of five and my siblings have 14 children between them. My parents had both died by the time I got married which in this respect is a good thing as I think my infertility would have broken my mother's heart - for me, not for her.

DH as two siblings with three children between them. His dad has died and I love his mother but she is pragmatic to the point of almost being callous.

We are genuinely happy to be child free now but our families have never discussed it, at least not with us, and sometimes it has felt quite lonely.

I'm the youngest of three. Neither my sister nor I was ever interested in having children, nor has anything to do with them (though my sister would encounter her DH's children, grandchildren and great grandchildren on occasion). I have no idea whether my brother ever fathered a child - I hope not, because 1) he was a violent alcoholic and probably still is, and 2) he preferred to have affairs with married women.

My sister and I have always been pleased that we're the last of our line. Our father's inheritance (genetic and financial) was rubbish, and our mother's siblings had a lot of children, so it's not like the family's going to die out on that side.