Anyone here childfree/less because they didn’t find a partner?

[OnedayTwodays]

Just wondering if there are others without kids because of this reason.

Yes, that's true for me, sort of.

I've never been married or lived with anyone. I have barely had any sexual relationships. I refer to my current DP as that, but I am not sure he would agree.

I didn't recognise signals and hoped I was seeing them in men who friendzoned me. I would never let go and look elsewhere.

Meant to say that I never actively wanted children, I just assumed that they would come along. But I am grateful that it didn't become a need for me.

Meant to say that I never actively wanted children, I just assumed that they would come along. But I am grateful that it didn't become a need for me.

I never had a partner (the one man I wanted wasn't available) but even if I had, I wouldn't have wanted children with him. Never wanted them under any circumstances.

That's me I guess. Had a few boyfriends but never got serious. The one I did want to settle down and have kids with unfortunately didn't want the same.
I do have a partner now, but I didn't meet him until 47, so I missed the boat. It makes me sad, but at 51 I'm starting to come to terms with it, and seeing the other side of the coin - freedom (even if I am going to die alone! :-D)

Yes me!

Yes. I call it being “socially infertile.”

And sometimes I feel a complete failure at life. Even the most stupid fat and ugly people manage to find partners, but I can’t. I know this is a ridiculous overstatement but sometimes it’s just hard.

Are "stupid fat and ugly" less worthy of love?

What a horrible thought.

Well, if you actually read my post, you’ll also see I said I know it’s a ridiculous way to think. But failing and failing again at relationships is tough.

Like other posters, I had relationships with at least 2 men whom I’d have settled down and had a family with. But neither of them wanted to do that with me. What cut was that in each case, they had DC with the next relationship after me. It’s hard not to take that personally.

I didn't find a partner, went for IVF with a sperm donor which sadly didn't work.

Trying to work out what to do and wish I could be more childfree and less childless x

Yeah. Was with a guy from 19-24, he “wasn’t ready” for anything; moving in (both still with parents), engagement, children. Was then with an older man who already had DC and had a vasectomy from 24-31.
Then moved away and was single from 31-35/6, my DH who I met at 35 is amazing and I wish we could’ve had DC. He is 20+ years older and had cancer treatment so was unable to have DC.
I am beyond grateful for him and we truly appreciate what we have. Just wish we could’ve met a long time ago.

Just found this post...yes, this would describe me. I believe it's known as "Childless by Circumstance".

Always wanted to marry and have a family...All my friends and family members thought I'd be the first to marry and have a baby.

Unfortunately, men have never been all that attracted to me and I've never had much male attention. I didn't get a first date until I was 29. I had a relationship with someone who I would have loved to marry and have a family with but he announced he wanted neither not long before my 31st birthday. I ended up in a relationship with someone else who I really liked fairly recently and was hoping it would work out and there was still time for a baby or two but I found out he was gay and closeted, most likely using me as a beard. I've had no one else ask me on a date through all my 30s.

I'm not far off 40 now and trying to accept that it's game over for those dreams now. Very painful and lonely, but what can you do?

It actually horrifies me to think I could have met someone and, if they'd wanted to, we'd have had children😂

I often wondered if I wanted children, but was never really bothered and thought it was something for 'later' and if I got into a relationship.

Now in my 50s and profoundly relieved that I don't have children. Also happily long-term single and can't imagine changing that.

Yes me too. I had few short relationships and a couple of long ones. The second long one i would have have kids with but he cheated on me married her and has a child with her now. He never said there was anything wrong.

Now ive come to terms with never being a mum I think.

was actually married for 8 years after being with him for 8 years (16years total). We were too interested in partying and holidays and then when travelling. I decided I then wanted to retrain. I then wanted to try at 35/36 but he was actually having an affair and we broke up. Met my current partner at 40 but he had children and my mum became terminally ill and we cared for her. Definitely childless by circumstance but at an acceptance with it and can see the positives in my life without children. Although definitely think we are promoted we can have it all and we can’t.

I'm not far off 40 now and trying to accept that it's game over for those dreams now. Very painful and lonely, but what can you do?

My 40s we’re really difficult. But it does get better, it really does.

Im lucky though in that I’m doing the job I’ve wanted to do since I was 14 and it’s an absorbing and rewarding career. A vocation, if you like.

@FarEast Thank you, I'm glad that it all worked out for you. My job is very similar, literal dream come true and I've done it for all my adult life but it all just feels very empty now. I'd give it up tomorrow for a family.

Yes. Kind of. A number of reasons I've ended up childless-not-by-choice. Lack of man definitely being one of them.