Ideas on how to live best life

creamedcustard · 2023-07-09T17:30:51+00:00

I'm past the age now for drinking and partying every spare moment I get, so ideas on how best to spend my time when I'm not

tokenname · 09/07/2023 18:37

Sigh, I am OP but phone isn't working 🙄 I meant to add, ideas on how best to spend all the time I'm not spending looking after kids? And how to feel most fulfilled?
I know it's different for everybody, but I'm struggling to tap into what I'd want to do most. All my life has just been an education and employment treadmill. Now I'm wondering if there are any feasible alternatives out there since I'm not necessarily tied to just one place?
DP is worried that I don't want to do things anymore because I didn't want to go to a spontaneous rock concert tonight, as I wanted to prepare for a big party I'm throwing next weekend, I'm busy at work all week, and we're on holiday the week after.
I love travel, and reading, and history. I spend most of my spare time in the day outdoors when I can, but this is usually at or near home because going into town these days is such a faff and I get tired from how noisy and crowded it is all the time.
Am I boring? :( Some inspiration from other childfree people would be great!

Eyesopenwideawake · 09/07/2023 18:48

Animals are my passion - horses, dogs, cats, goats and chickens 😊But they wouldn't appeal to everyone. I also love cooking, travelling (when I can find someone to look after the farm!), word puzzles and doing 'stuff' to the house.

I love travel, and reading, and history. I spend most of my spare time in the day outdoors when I can

If that's what makes you happy, do more of it!

RuffledKestrel · 09/07/2023 18:58

Nothing wrong with a quiet life!
Personally I used to love going to live events and big crowds and such when I was younger, now however I'd much rather spend time in the garden, doing some craft or diy in the house, playing computer games with or without my partner, reading.
If I am feeling in a not very social mood but don't want to be in the house I often take some crochet or a book and go to a coffee shop or sit in the park for a few hours. Either myself or with a few friends. Or perhaps go out a walk in the hills with some friends, usually the ones with dogs!

Life doesn't need to be filled with action every single day, especially when you are working full time.

Deadlines · 10/07/2023 01:57

I don’t party or drink and I never have. I enjoy reading, tv/movies, music, cooking, games and puzzles, art, nature, travelling, learning, podcasts and spending time with my husband, family and friends.

I think the best way to enjoy life is to do the things you want to do as much as possible and the things you need to do to the best of your ability in the shortest amount of time you can.

People who think your life is boring, probably have a life you would find boring, otherwise their life would be exactly the same as your life and they wouldn’t think yours was boring!

Original poster

creamedcustard · 10/07/2023 16:58

Thanks, all! I'm certainly grateful for the sleep, and focus on being able to take my time cooking adult meals that are good for my health. I'm good at spending my time doing things which feel good in the immediate moment, day to day, but wondering if there's something missing from the more general life mission/fulfilment sort of way.

I keep daydreaming about what it'd be like to live in an environment where I could look after the community's children as and when I want to (not teaching!!) But still have my private space. So the best of both worlds. I want to build something and see progress, I want to travel and see new environments, I want my friends around me and to see them when I like.

OP posts:

Catchasingmewithspiders · 11/07/2023 17:30

creamedcustard · 10/07/2023 16:58

Thanks, all! I'm certainly grateful for the sleep, and focus on being able to take my time cooking adult meals that are good for my health. I'm good at spending my time doing things which feel good in the immediate moment, day to day, but wondering if there's something missing from the more general life mission/fulfilment sort of way.

I keep daydreaming about what it'd be like to live in an environment where I could look after the community's children as and when I want to (not teaching!!) But still have my private space. So the best of both worlds. I want to build something and see progress, I want to travel and see new environments, I want my friends around me and to see them when I like.

Do you have skills to share with children if you want to occasionally spend time with them?

For example I run craft sessions for some of the children in the village but they are very much as and when I am available so it's not a weekly commitment. So sometimes it might be three times in a month and other times I might go 3-4 weeks before I have them round again

If you are wanting occasional child contact time without the commitment something like that might work for you?

What I would say is don't get sucked into thinking that you have to provide "the village" for people/children in the community and don't think you have to have some massive meaningful life just because you don't have kids. Its also totally fine to just be, without all the pressure of being more.

JorisBonson · 12/07/2023 10:40

Just do lots of what makes you happy! Your plans sound lovely,

SoWhatEh · 12/07/2023 10:46

A trick I was taught in my twenties is to create nine sections of life e.g.: home, family & friends, hobbies, fitness, charity and community, travel, work & finance, spirituality etc (doesn't have to be those, but they do recommend including charity and community as one of the nine).

Then do something each week to enhance each area of your life - visit a friend, redecorate a room, go for a run, watch a live theatre show, help at a food bank etc, research a holiday. That way your life is varied and if one part of it turns bad - eg a holiday is cancelled or you twist an ankle running, then the other eight areas of your life are all ticking along healthily giving you things to look forward to and keeping you busy.

I think it is brilliant advice and try to stick to it.

KimberleyClark · 12/07/2023 11:52

JorisBonson · 12/07/2023 10:40

Just do lots of what makes you happy! Your plans sound lovely,

This. Travel for me. I do think it will be a comfort to me at the end of my life that I have seen a good bit of the planet while I’ve been here.

Deadlines · 12/07/2023 12:01

SoWhatEh · 12/07/2023 10:46

A trick I was taught in my twenties is to create nine sections of life e.g.: home, family & friends, hobbies, fitness, charity and community, travel, work & finance, spirituality etc (doesn't have to be those, but they do recommend including charity and community as one of the nine).

Then do something each week to enhance each area of your life - visit a friend, redecorate a room, go for a run, watch a live theatre show, help at a food bank etc, research a holiday. That way your life is varied and if one part of it turns bad - eg a holiday is cancelled or you twist an ankle running, then the other eight areas of your life are all ticking along healthily giving you things to look forward to and keeping you busy.

I think it is brilliant advice and try to stick to it.

I like that! Thanks for sharing 😊

SoWhatEh · 12/07/2023 15:46

i'm being thick, but how does signing up to Experian alert you to potential fraud in your name? I thought they were just a credit check company.

SoWhatEh · 12/07/2023 15:46

Sorry - wrong thread!

Original poster

creamedcustard · 12/07/2023 18:11

SoWhatEh · 12/07/2023 10:46

A trick I was taught in my twenties is to create nine sections of life e.g.: home, family & friends, hobbies, fitness, charity and community, travel, work & finance, spirituality etc (doesn't have to be those, but they do recommend including charity and community as one of the nine).

Then do something each week to enhance each area of your life - visit a friend, redecorate a room, go for a run, watch a live theatre show, help at a food bank etc, research a holiday. That way your life is varied and if one part of it turns bad - eg a holiday is cancelled or you twist an ankle running, then the other eight areas of your life are all ticking along healthily giving you things to look forward to and keeping you busy.

I think it is brilliant advice and try to stick to it.

Also saying thank you for this! Also to PP about not putting myself under pressure to be part of the village that looks after the kids. I take seriously the words of the spiritual leaders who talk about being in the moment and content with what is as the true path to living a best life, and this combined with the well-rounded model as quoted can help me feel purposeful as well. Thanks!

OP posts:

BookWorm45 · 12/11/2023 08:48

I like the 9 areas of life thing, though it may be an ambitious target for me to hit all 9 each week.... Maybe each month

SoWhatEh · 13/11/2023 08:28

BookWorm45 · 12/11/2023 08:48

I like the 9 areas of life thing, though it may be an ambitious target for me to hit all 9 each week.... Maybe each month

I thin that would work just as well. So long as you have achievable projects on the gp that enhance all 9 areas.

Ballsbaill · 13/11/2023 08:30

I was never into drinking and parties. Dull and boring.

I like travel to remote areas, hiking, opera, theatre.

Having all my money to spend on myself rather than child care and the latest must have toy. Going places children would spoil and so can't be taken.

Ted27 · 13/11/2023 09:06

https://www.fiveacrefarm.org.uk/
@creamedcustard

Hi
Does your area have anything like this. There are lots of them about, always looking for volunteers and they tend to have a lot of social events.
They often need people with skills in marketing, Web/iT, finance etc.
Most allotment sites will have a community plot which are much smaller scale.
My local library is volunteer run, again they often need people with professional skills.
When I retire properly in a few years I'm planning to get involved in my community May day festival/Market. It's a big event, organising it takes most of the year, and again professional skills in demand