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MNers without children

This board is primarily for MNers without children - others are welcome to post but please be respectful

Original poster

Future-proofing for a childfree old-age

83 replies

musixa · 16/06/2023 17:00

I've been thinking a lot about this subject lately, as my own elderly parents are needing more and more support from my sister and me. Simple things like replacing household items, setting up a new appliance etc. are getting beyond their capabilities; their house isn't being properly maintained and so on.

I'm wondering what others are considering - of course my ideal would be to be one of those elderly people who is as sharp at 80 as they were at 18, but I have to be realistic based on what genes I have inherited.

My best idea at the moment is sheltered accommodation either rented or bought and maintained, warden-managed. A bonus of being without children is that there are no worries about retirement properties being 'impossible to sell' after death and of course, whatever cash my current house might be worth is at my disposal to release by selling or releasing equity.

What are your thoughts?

OP posts:
helpfulperson · 20/04/2024 21:31

Via a common interest I have a lot of childless friends and we often talk about a commune. obviously we would still need to buy in care but we would have company and could share the costs. those who are compos mentis could look out for those who aren't.

Strawberriesandpears · 20/04/2024 21:38

Frizby123 · 20/04/2024 21:22

Mum has diabetes and got to the point where she was not managing her injections well. She was supported by local district nurses, GP and in her flat she had access to 24 hr assistance via help buttons in case she had a hippo. There is a Manager on site Monday to Fridays who knew her well and could detect any problems she may have had. Hope that answers your question.

It does. Thank you very much for sharing.

Strawberriesandpears · 20/04/2024 21:39

helpfulperson · 20/04/2024 21:31

Via a common interest I have a lot of childless friends and we often talk about a commune. obviously we would still need to buy in care but we would have company and could share the costs. those who are compos mentis could look out for those who aren't.

I like this idea, but I think the only problem is what happens to the last person standing?

Catchasingmewithspiders · 20/04/2024 22:02

Strawberriesandpears · 20/04/2024 21:39

I like this idea, but I think the only problem is what happens to the last person standing?

Show quote history

When one moves out to a nursing home (or dies) you would need to open up for a new person to move in

Most communes have a waiting list and a long vetting process where everyone has to agree to the new person etc but it seems to work reasonable well - I seem to have a reasonable number of friends who either live in communes or who have lived in communes and this is how it's worked for them

Adarajames · 22/04/2024 09:56

I think I’d done a commune too claustrophobic but I really like the idea of co-housing, own space and some shared space / facilities. There’s Older Womens Co Housing in North London, need something similar nearer where I live now on London / Kent border to be there when I need to move.

Coldupnorth87 · 26/04/2024 15:53

FlipFlopFlicker · 25/06/2023 07:26

My aunt has am accountant, a personal trainer, a cleaner and a PA. The accountant comes once a month and they do paperwork etc. The PA comes every week and does stuff like returning parcels, updating her phone and DIY jobs.

Fab. Go aunt!

VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 26/04/2024 16:17

stevalnamechanger · 17/06/2023 16:21

These retirement apartments are often impossible to sell ... avoid

Did you read the OP posts? She explicitly said she doesn't care about that because she has no children to inherit.

VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 26/04/2024 16:22

musixa · 17/06/2023 16:14

Find younger, healthier hot new DH who adores me and looks after me lovingly until my dying day.

I would actually be open to an explicitly transactional marriage with a congenial younger man or woman - they look after me in return for inheriting the lot when the time comes - I wouldn't be bothering them for sex, just companionship and doing things around the house that I might no longer be able to do, making sure I'm not ripped off by tradesmen etc. I'd probably do it as a 'civil partnership' rather than a 'marriage' if it was still an option by then.

Being autistic, I don't live with other humans well.

Mostly, I've been trying not to think too hard about end-of-life.

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