Gynae problems when you don't want children.

[JorisBonson]

(I realise this post may not apply to our childless not by choice members and I apologise).

Anyone else frustrated by similar problems?

My reproductive organs are very "you name it, I've got it"... Endo, fibroids, cysts, pcos, proper full bingo card. I'm also in peri at 38.

I have a laparoscopy next month after almost a decade of doctor's visits, a lot of the time just to be told "you're a woman", it's what happens".

I'm finally under the care of a fantastic gynae who has take me seriously and arranged for them to have a look in there and see what the score is. I've told her repeatedly that I don't want children and I'd be happy for the whole lot of be taken out (my mother and grandmother both had hysterectomies in their 40's) but it's not an option.

Since it's the way I'm heading, and I have no need for a womb / ovaries, am I mad to think it should at least be a conversation?

I agree, I have awful problems, cannot have children but they still wont lwt me have a hysterectomy

They have fitted a coil because it reduced my risk of endometrial cancer, which I am high risk for.

You know what would reduce my risk further? No endometrium, no uterus. But apparently thats not allowed, because despite the fact I spent a lot of money and still could have kids, I might want children one day 🤦‍♀️

I know! Like I will magically come out of peri and my womb will magically heal!

I've said no to a coil again. I've had one before but DH has offered to get the snip and I'd like to come off hormonal contraception all together (been on it since I was 16!).

In my case part of my uterus would have to spontaneously grow, my ovaries would have to uncyst themselves and all sorts of hormonal things would have to align and yet still "you never know"

Honestly i think its cost. If they are willing to give me long term contraception then its not really about babies its about money.

I have to admit I rather like the coil because its stopped my periods, but i totally get wanting to not be on hormonal contraception for once!

In my case part of my uterus would have to spontaneously grow, my ovaries would have to uncyst themselves and all sorts of hormonal things would have to align and yet still "you never know"

But you might change your miiiiiind 😂

It's absolutely about money, no doubt about that. To be honest it's hard to get anything done on the NHS now that's not life saving, even stuff that would make life much better. Add misogyny into the mix and the less favourable treatment of women in the healthcare system and there's no hope.

Oh I get that the NHS is on its arse and needs to prioritise. On the positive side, this gynae is wonderful and I was offered an op date the same day! She said that women's health on the NHS is about 7 years behind where it needs to be, which tallies with my experiences.

Forgive me for posting here, I have children but I also had horrific gynae issues and a whole cocktail of fibroids, endo, cysts etc.
Have you had scan etc to determine exactly where all of the above are? Have they tried ablation etc? I'm guessing so from your post but If not I'd push for scans asap and read up about options.
I only ask because I was told in many ways, by my excellent consultant, especially with the endo which can sometimes move on to attack the diaphragm etc, a hysterectomy can actually make things worse. They may have to dissect you bladder and bowel for example to detach the uterus - which causes a whole host of other problems.
I had no idea of any of the above (my hysterectomy was emergent and childbirth related in the end so not applicable here) so I just thought I'd mention.
You should definitely be able to have that conversation though and weigh up the risks for yourself.

Thanks @99redballoons123 , that's good to know!

My best friend (childless, single, loves being an aunt) had to have a hysterectomy while in peri-menopause and it is very much a last resort NOT because "you never know" but because it's a major operation that leaves your internal organs without support (that's my limited understanding, the dr in my name is my PhD in a non-medical science subject!) and is much more radical for your hormones etc. than going through natural menopause.

I have no idea what would happen if you had a hysterectomy and then HRT if you have endo because obviously endo is a) not in the uterus and b) hormone related. But I would want to understand what that meant for my wellbeing if I were in your shoes.

What’s the relevance of her loving being an aunt?

that leaves your internal organs without support

Very simplistic but basically yes. Lots of people encounter issues with other organs such as their bowels which move and expand to 'fit the space' as it were. As with any op it's about the risk/benefit balance.

Im extremely high risk for endometrial cancer. Other people have body parts removed for cancer risks

Im a very loving aunt too if that helps 🙄

@Backtotheclinic I have no idea whether she's childfree or childless but she seems to have filled any gap that was there by having a big part in her DNs lives.
I don't want to say she "never planned to have children" or "didn't want them".

I had everything out at 42 - I told my consultant I didn't want children. Possibly the fact I was 42 which would have been very much on the late side to start added weight to this because I wasn't challenged. It didn't come up before for the simple reason no-one took my problems seriously - I wasn't diagnosed with endometriosis/fibroids etc. until my 40s despite suffering throughout my 30s.

Having my womb out at 37 was the best thing ever. Still have my ovaries though.. you poor thing OP, you need it all out and get into HRT

I asked multiple times in my 30s for a sterilisation, was happy to pay privately for it, and was repeatedly turned down. Eventually got it at 40.

@JorisBonson i could have written your post well over 30 years ago in my twenties.
I did have that conversation with my GP and consultant. It was only when I said “what would you do if you had infected, rotten, broken, crumbling teeth that meant you constantly dribbled and could eat anything other than liquidised foods?”, that they started to listen to me. Their answer was always “we would get the dentist to remove them if they couldn’t be fixed”.
I suggested that my situation was not so different and they might as well save resources by doing a radical hysterectomy - which they agreed to and did 3 months later.
Sometimes you just have to advocate for yourself and speak very plainly for them to understand.
incidentally, it was the best thing to have happened to me, as I went from
being very I’ll and unable to navigate daily life let alone work and looking like I was a bent over 60year old to being a cheerful, hardworking, pain free twenty year old within 8 weeks of surgery. I felt immensely better within days of surgery.

Thanks @Alphabet1spaghetti2 , that's really positive. I'm going to see what the outcome of my laparoscopy is (booked right in the middle of the 5 day strike 🫤) and take it from there. I think I definitely have to start being more vocal.

I have endometriosis and apparently PCOS (I’m very suspicious the latter was caused by the Mirena coil).

One of the main reasons I believe they’re reluctant to do hysterectomies is that they can cause further issues down the line, such as increased risk of osteoporosis, heart disease, cancer, diabetes, pelvic prolapse etc. It’s shite.

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.2217/WHE.09.42

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8622061/

a growing body of evidence from high-income settings suggests that hysterectomy, particularly with oophorectomy, is a contributing factor in chronic disease in women’s mid-life and beyond

https://womensmidlifehealthjournal.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s40695-022-00084-9#:~:text=A%202022%20systematic%20review%20of,disorders%2C%20and%20dementia%20%5B5%5D

But there has been some promising endometriosis research recently, including the discovery of an association between endo and Fusobacterium

https://m.youtube.com/shorts/8elwbEf4588?feature=share

https://www.science.org/doi/10.1126/scitranslmed.add1531?url_ver=Z39.88-2003&rfr_id=ori:rid:crossref.org&rfr_dat=cr_pub%20%200pubmed

@CyanCrystalViolet its like all things in life. You have to weigh up the benefits vs disadvantages. Sometimes that conversation isn’t even had for women in this predicament. To even get that conversation started is akin to pushing jelly up a hill.

I absolutely agree, and I know I’ve given it some serious consideration myself. It should be up for a discussion with a gynae who would hopefully put all the pros and cons on the table and leave it for the woman to decide.