Childfree - what's your take on pets?

[musixa]

Asking because some childfree people I know have expressed a link between not having children and not wanting pets, and I'm interested in that idea because it isn't one I identify with; also interested to know how many of us fall into the 'cat lady' stereotype!

I knew I wanted a cat from the age of three, when my mum took me along to feed a neighbour's cat while they were on hols - I fell in love with him, even more so when he cleverly gifted us a dead mouse as a 'thank you'. My parents wouldn't have pets, so getting a cat was the first thing I did when I got a house of my own - I was very single-minded about it.

So, where do you all sit on the subject of pets?

Look at those loonnnnng leggies!

In June we lost 16 year old Licorice, a year before that, 13 year old Spike was PTS. They’d both been rescued and we loved them a lot. Spike had definitely claimed DH, but that was possibly because Licorice definitely knew I was hers.

It’s the first time we have been without a cat since we married in Aug 1998. I hate it BUT this week we have reserved 2 rescue kittens, who currently live with their mum, dad, and the lady who has rescued them. They are Maine Coon x Calico, and just after they were born, the breeder made it clear to the current owner that her health had declined to the point where she couldn’t cope any more, and they were swiftly adopted.

The father has since been neutered, and the queen and all kittens will be once weaning has taken place. So, no more kittens.

We are going to visit them in mid November, and they will come home with us on Jan 3rd when they’ll be 13 weeks old, and we’ll be back to normal life after Christmas. DH WFH 4 days a week, so they’ll have plenty of human interaction, and company with each other.

Domino, f, on the right. Ember, m, on the left. My Romanian friend from Transylvania, where a lot of ethnic Hungarians live told me that the word “ember” is often used for “dude” when greeting a friend. DH thought this was brilliant!!!

5 close childfree women friends: 2 have pets, 3 don't. I don't think there's a correlation between not wanting children and having pets.

This moron is my pride and joy.

❤️😻😂😂😂

There’s no correlation in my circle, that I can identify.

I dislike cats and DH is allergic to them, but we both like dogs. However, our jobs mean a dog would be left alone a lot and so it’s not feasible to have one until we retire. I’ve never thought of that as a child substitute though - just as a pet.

To me pets aren't child substitutes because I never wanted children. I love pets, I like being around other people's pets, and I feel protective of animals. Children I can at most tolerate in very small doses, if they're well behaved, and I feel indifferent to babies. (When infant body fluids are involved, I get away asap because it makes my stomach heave. Animal puke etc doesn't bother me, though.)

I love dogs. I mean really, really love them. Always had them growing up and just the sight of a big floofer out for a walk can make my day.

Don't have one though and although in many ways I really would love a dog of my own, deep down I know I don't really want one. DH and I both work long hours but we also have a very "out and about" lifestyle and enjoy spontaniety. Dogs are too tying, especially as they get older and I'd miss our lifestyle too much.

That was really put to the test during covid, where it was apparent that we were living the ideal dog-owner life and came very close to getting one but we both felt that if there was ever a glimmer of normal life returning - holidays, restaurants, comedy clubs, gigs etc then we wanted that more than a dog. Plus we saw a lot of people experience issues with unsocialised lockdown dogs and didn;t want to fall into that trap.

I should have said though that I'd happily get a cat in order to satisfy my pet craving without the neediness of a dog, but DH hates them.

I think my brother summed it up years ago. At his wedding reception he was asked by a relative of his wife when they were going to start having children. He looked at her somewhat surprised and said "why would we want children, we have cats". She responded with the classic "cats are just a child substitute" His response (said with a slightly cold tone of voice) "children are just a cat substitute".

I know that on MN women vastly outnumber men, but I've noticed elsewhere that pets are thought of as child substitutes for child free women especially single women, but that's never assumed for men in the same situation? I know many single/married and child free men who have pets who are devoted to them, and their pets are never referred to as "child substitutes".

In my case, I'm an aunt both by blood and by nature (I "aunt" everyone I know well). Never really wanted kids of my own, always wanted cats and/or maybe a dog. Until a few years ago my lifestyle wasn't suitable, but the moment I settled into a local job that didn't involve going away or working silly long hours or with a silly long commute, I got cats. The impact on my mental health was incredible, and in fact Boycat and his needs pulled me back from the brink of suicide at a very bad time in my life.

I’m so pleased things have got better for you, @Allergictoironing, & your brother sounds brilliant.

I’ve seen parents complaining that when they talk about their kids, childfree people talk about their pets.

Of course it’s not the same. I can go away for a couple of nights at short notice & get my wonderful pet sitter to keep an eye on my six month old foster kittens. They’ve been toilet trained for months & I don’t need to worry about whether they sleep through. I’ll happily sympathise with people who have new babies & are exhausted.

But if someone implies that they’re sorry for me or that my life must be lesser somehow, damn right I’m going to get the kitten photos out.

Animals all the way for me. I've had/have cats and horses and I love them like they were my own children. Well probably more seeing as I'm not too keen on kids (unless they're of the goat kind).

Good Lord, he must be at least three feet high with those legs 😂

@Allergictoironing I'm so glad you got your cats and that Boycat helped you so much, and I love your brother's response - if I was still getting the "don't you want children" crap I'd definitely steal that!

Here’s my pair, by the way.

@EmpressaurusOfCats OMG they look exactly like Sheba and Cindy, who came to us (dumped over back fences) in 1969 and 1973! My sister's and my first cats.

They’re a pair of adorable little monkeys! Did that describe Sheba & Cindy?

Don't want children. Never wanted a pet. But 3 years ago, we looked after a family members dog for a few weeks and ended up keeping her for good. Honestly, she's the best thing that happened to us. She's a wonderful companion, and we love her dearly. She comes absolutely everywhere with us, and I couldn't imagine not having her around.

Not as far as I remember, but I was only six and ten when they arrived, and my memory wrt to childhood is patchy at best! They must have been when they were kittens, at any rate. Sheba still had blue eyes, she was so young. I remember her first day and being afraid Father would say we couldn’t keep her. No idea why I feared that, we already had a cat, he’d been around since before I was born, old Sooty, more often known as Charlie.

Childfree but because I never met the right person to have them with. I can't stand dogs and cats and wouldn't want any pet.

My dog is my family. I have no close family & think I’d feel quite lonely if I didn’t have him !

Depends on the pet. Fish or hamster fine but having a dog or cat, no way. They're even more restrictive than kids.

When I met DH he had a dog and it was a total pain in the arse. Couldn't leave the house for more than about 6 hours because the dog would need out for the toilet. Any time we went for an overnight we had to arrange for friends to go in and let the dog out then had to rush home the next day. At least with kids you can ask grandparents or aunties etc. Not everyone wants to look after a dog or cat.