Can an Au pair do childcare for a 1yo?

[roslily]

We are having a chilcare nightmare. By chilminder is quitting and taking a totally different job, all the childminders in a 10 mile radius are booked up as are nurseries, apart from my ds having a day at each!

Someone suggested an Au pair, and I actually like the idea, but can they be sole childcare? I will be part time (hopefully) in Sept, so it would be 2.5 days a week?

roslily, I know some families do. I don't think it is a good idea at all. If you have never used one before, you will realise it is a bit hit and miss in terms of their attitude and aptitude - they are young girls. Also, nanny's hours are usually very long - 8-10 hours a day. That is a long time for someone with no sole charge care experience to be doing it.

2.5 days a weeks is better than 5 days, but still ... it is a real leap of faith.

I did use an aupair when my ds was one. But it was in conjunction with ft nursery care - she just did the drop off and pick up and a bit of babysitting after left work and before I came home.

Not really. If you think about it, you are asking whether someone with limited childcare experience (possibly just baby sitting or care of younger siblings) whom you are going to be paying about £60-£80 a week can be trusted to look after your one-year old? I'm sure people do use (or misuse) aupairs for that level of care but I'm not sure how you would ever be able to relax wondering what was happening at home. Remember also, aupairs tend to stay only for a short time so it is a lot of changing about for your dc and their levels of English are not always great.

No you are right. I am not happy with it, but I don't know what else to do.

I agree, not really. It's not ideal because of the linguistic development unless you get someone who would basically be a nanny in their own country and have them talk to your DS in their native language, which could be a wonderful opportunity.

What's your budget? And where are you?

Could you consider a nanny share (around 60% of the cost of a nanny)? Nanny with own child (80% of the cost)?

I would get your name on a waiting list for the the nearest suitable childminder and nurseries and then put up with long distance travel until one becomes available.

Au Pairs are definately not suitable for anyone under school age.

Hi,
it really depends on the au pair. We have have a 24 yr old that is very hands on. If they have child care experience and go to lots of toddler groups etc then why not?

Are you considering live in? Why don't you pet your DS dow for one day at nursery or CM of your choice. Get him on waiting list for another day, and have au pair do the childcare run in morning and evening and maybe the half day. A half day is a bit much, but SOME au pairs sould do this. Not one who has never been an au pair. But, you can find an experienced "au pair" who actually sits somewhere between au pair and nanny.

How long are the days? Can you do 5 half days instead of 2 1/2 full days. That would be more in line with au pair hours.

I think the answer is "depend on the au pair".

And I don't agree that a foreign language native speaker will inhibit language development. My kids are 5 and 7. WE have had nannies from a wide variety of countries. Never an English one. Both children have distinct West London accents.

The language point isn't an accent issue (although that can be a problem) so much as someone with intermediate level English who uses a limited vocabulary, incorrect grammatical constructions and persistently exposes children at an impressionable stage of linguistic development to 'bad' English. Replace English with any other language. Children are exposed to different accents the whole time - the likelihood of both parents having the exact same accent is slim to none and there's almost no way they'll live in a community with a homogenous accent. Children can differentiate accents but recovering from deeply ingrained grammatical errors in much more difficult.

Much better to have someone speaking their mother tongue be that French, Russian or Vietnamese.

Short term care is probably fine but full time/extended periods of sole-charge isn't.

I understand what you are saying Frak. I just don't think it's essential to get the grammar down in the toddler years. When DD was a toddler we had a (very well educated) Estonian nanny, whose English was not great. When DD began to talk she would say "What it is?" instead of "what is it?" She is 7 now and has since learned to speak properly. WEll, sort of. I do wonder why the school let's her use me in place of I. That drives me crackers. I = subject, me = object. Get it?!?!?!?

I can't stand bad grammar actually. But I forgive it in a woman who has three degrees (including but not limited to veterinary medicine) and grew up and made something of herself under Soviet Occupation.

I fear the problem is that parents who use au pairs for childcare in the early years often continue to use them as childcare later on and the bad grammar just gets ingrained.

It's things like the I/me confusion which are more pervasive than the word order in a sentence. Or incorrect prepositions. Or incorrect past forms/mixing the past simple or past perfect tenses... Things which are just learnt by 'osmosis' or so it seems. I can understand why you're irritated by your DDs school, that's something which really should be picked up on and corrected!

Hi, it is not ideal. I know someone who used her au pair for childcare for her 1 MONTH old... and I must say i was horrified when she started out. As it happens, that particular au pair was fabulous and it was never for all day, but maybe a morning or an afternoon.

So, it massively depends on the au pair, but I don't think you really can use it as your "permanent" childcare for such a young child...

The language issue for me is much more, in an emergency situation, what language will the AP instinctively resort to? Will she remember to yell "Stop" before your child does something dangerous or ramble on in her own language? Could she speak to the emergency services in an emergency? Does she understand instructions or pretend to? When something happens that you need to know more about can she explain to you coherently the chain of events? Bearing in mind that teenagers aren't always that good at this sometimes anyway!!

The other bits re the grammar and language acquisiton generally I would say are all by the by. I wouldn't personally be too preoccupied with this as it sounds like you're home a lot anyway and once your child is at school or nursery they'll be getting enough positive English feedback.

RE a one year old - a ten hour day with an AP- even a good one- is a risk if that's the sort of horus you're talking about. The tiredness factor is a problem for these girls, in my experience.

With a shitty one - any amount of time is too much, no matter how old the child is (even school age, in my opinion, as the risks are different but still high) and you don't know what you're going to get when they get off the plane.

I really think you need a nursery with an AP doing wrap around care. Then, if she is good, you can always reduce the nursery hours.

Rosily, could you consider a nanny share or nanny with her own child. For nanny share, you would only be paying for 2.5 days so more affordable. Nanny with child come at a discount.

The thing is people who market themselves as an "au pair" actually have wide variety of skills and experience. Some would be perfectly suited to this jobs. Other would most certainly not. If we are talking about an 18 yeaqr old who has babysat her cousin on Saturday nights and never lived away from home, then I'd say no way is she sutable. But, if we are talking about someone who has been an au pair and then after 6 months on the job was give given lots of sole care and treated more like a nanny and is a good cook and has some first aid, then I'd say that person may be able to do the job.

I don't really like the term "au pair" these days because there isn't really any such thing anymore and it covers such a wide range of candidates and job descriptions.

Agree with Strix that the term "aupair" can be used, or increasingly misused, to mean anything or nothing. In its proper sense, I would not use an aupair for sole charge childcare. Many aupairs do go on to gain solid childcare experience, perhaps gain first aid qualifications etc but it's a bit hit'n'miss as to which kind you get and I always think that if someone is competent enough to be left in charge of a 1-yr old, surely they are being paid more than aupair rates and therefore should be classed as a nanny, be employed and subject to tax and NI etc.

At the end of the day however, you can call your childcarer anything you wish or agree between you, what matters is that s/he is competent to provide the level of childcare you need and is being appropriately compensated for that care.

Our AP does wrap around care. Boys were in FT nursery (3 yo still is) and she drops them and picks up. On the odd occasion AP has had children all day. However, current one is not great, and I would not want her taking charge of boys for longer than she does. Her energy levels are not great and her initiative is limited.

Au pairs are not supposed to have unsupervised care of under twos.

They rarely have first aid training, and little if any childcare experience or knowledge of child development.

They are supposed to be just like a big sister around to help out.

I think they are great for older children for before and after school, some are better cooks than others, but I would never have left my au pair with the children, as lovely and charming as she was to have in the house, she would never have coped with a choking one year old as I have had to or a toddler with a febrile convulsion!

Oh dear, have to say I have used an au pair for care of an under 2. We had one when my daughter was 15 months and she was absolutely brilliant ? admittedly I work from home so was in the house with her nearly all the time but I did let her take DD to the park etc and sometimes went out to meetings while she looked after DD. Also she did have first aid training. I think you have to use your judgement and it depends on the individual. We've now had two au pairs and they've both been very mature 20-year-olds.

I au paired/mothers helped for a time when I was 19 (am British). Sole care of 18 month old and 3 year old and also 6 year old outside of school. Did school run, cooked kids meals and kept kids rooms clean and tidy. Even went on holiday with the family to do same. Lived in for £75 a week.

I wish I could find another me to employ now!

I can pay the post lady to look after my children if I want to. You can use an "au pair" for childcare of babies. Whether or not that is wise would depend on his/her experience, qualifications, aptitude for playing with children, common sense, ability to take control of a crisis, and a million other skills required when small children are involved.

There is a large grey area which spans from the traditional Au Pair role to the traditional "nanny" role. Today, you have to dig a bit further than the job title when you assess his/her suitability for work.

somethinganything, I think what you used your au pair for is fine, you say you were around most of the time, and obviously on call, the leaving a small child with an au pair sole charge when the parent is several hours away or all day is a concern.

I think au pairs work well for many reasons, but as you say, some are more suitable than others.

Our au pair is a qualified kindergarten teacher with sole charge experience from 4 months up but I would still not leave her with our 10 m/o for a full day, even if our 4 y/o was at nursery all day. A full work day inc. commuting times is really long and I think she would be miserable. But I am happy using her for nursery wraparound care so I don't stress about my trains being delayed.

Lionstar, you were a gem.

For aupairs, start on the premise they cannot have sole charge. Then observe them and give them increasing responsibility to test.

All the good aupairs I had eventually took both dcs out to the park/activities and routinely had sole charge for a few hours a day. It is very much dependent on the aupair you get.

Danger with leaving them with a baby is that the baby cannot tell you what is happening when you are not there. My dd was 4 (at her youngest) and could be gently pumped for information if necessary. At 7, she is now my eyes and ears.