Help me with a reference for departing nanny...

[Strix]

I am just stumped on the childcare bit. Can someone give me some ideas?

Bonded with children.
They love her.
We love her.

Can't think of anything to say...

she has been reliable
prompt excellent at time keeping
reliable
never / rarely sick
flexible
cooks amazing food
always leaves the house immaculate
happy to ger her hands dirty
uses initiative

etc etc

(if its true!!!)

I always say (if it is true) that I would hire her again. I explain why she is leaving, her strong points, that my children are happy with her.

Pick out something she did unexpected, perhaps some trip out with your children.
Did any emergency situation occur, how did they handle it? Be it child or home related.

I would always like to hear about whether the person had good play skills, ideally a example or two. I had a couple of nannies who were hugely imaginative and very patient playing 3 or 5 year old games and others who were as hopeless as I was myself. Needless to say, the really imaginative ones were the ones who were the big hits with my DD. Thinking back on it, I think that they were also the happiest in their jobs.

I think the best references are those who cover 2 parts of nannying: a) how was she with the children, b) how was she as employee (reliable, honest, mature, fair, good communicator? If these apply then examples like holiday/sicknes/parents'overtime/snowday issues would be great).

Thanks guys. That was helpful.

Thanks Laquitar. I agree with what you say about two parts. I had the good employee bit down quite thoroughly. I asked her what she thought and she asked me to say a bit more about the kids. I guess it is difficult because that's the part Im not really here to observe.

Another quetion, do you think there is anything wrong with leaving an e-mail address for contact but no phone number? I really don't want people to call me, but happy to answer questions on e-mail.

Personally I wouldn't accept a reference for someone I couldn't call as it could be anyone on the email. its unlikely you'd get very many calls

I'm sorry but i would need a telephone number. Landline or workplace (demanding cow i am!). Maybe years in childcare made me over cautious but everybody can create 10 email adresses.

Am quite happy to give out my phone number if they ask for it on email. I just don't want to distribute my phone number with every job application.

Also, I'm not good at returning calls. If I give them the phone number, they call it, I don't get back to them, then nanny is not likely to get the job. Much better if they e-mail me and I'll get back to them quickly.

On the written reference you could just include the e-mail address... but let nanny have the phone number so that when meeting prospective employers/agencies they can provide that detail.

I have already told her that she can give the phone number out to parents (not agencies).

Oh, and my e-mail address is my name so am thinking its a fairly convincing start.

And, it could also be anyone on the end of the phone.

If you write that (i'm happy to give out my number...) on the reference then i guess it is ok.

I always leave the phone number off references when I apply for jobs, and only give it to prospective employers after an interview - never had a problem doing that.

I also remove personal contact details from refs.

Why can't she give the number to agencies? I have an ex boss who I only have an email for now as they've moved so many times and agencies are always a bit about it, even though it's a public sector work email.

In fact I don't have many ex-employers landline numbers!!!

For the childcare bit give examples of activities, praise every skill she has (creativity, helping with homework, active and outdoorsy, awareness of child development/ages and stages/appropriate activities) and if your children are old enough maybe include a quote from them?

I put on mine how good our nanny was with me and my husband (my dh can be difficult, and didn't get on very well with any of our other childcarers).

when families write refs for me, I always tell them to put in the things that they would expect to see. It hasn't failed me yet!

As a nanny, I tell parents to not put their contact details on refs. If I have an interview with a family and we like each other, I will give out phone numbers at that point for refs to be checked.

Oh frakkit, surely you know about my love of and faith in agencies! I don't trust them not to pass my phone number out to all of sundry because they can. So, if DN (soon to be xDN ) actually gets to the stage of having an interview than she is welcome to pass out the number directly to prospective employers.

Anyway, references are now done and passed to DN who was very happy with them. (I did two - one for nanny jobs and one more generic one for other jobs.)

I know you don't like them (don't know why!) but they'd be in v hot water if they did give out your number.

I'm thinking of an agency who had legal trouble lately re data protection breaches here and the potential sanctions were Not Very Nice so I don't think they'd be silly.

What about address for agencies who prefer to send out written checks?

Because they lie to parents and to nannies just to place them and make their commission.

I'm sure some are nice. But, as a rule, don't trust any of them.

I've given in. They have my number. So looking forward to talking to them.

True. They do know which side their bread is buttered and they have a vested interest in pushing nannies into jobs...

But they also have a vested interest in making sure they work out and they can't piss nannies or parents off too much as they need to the repeat custom. Of course they'll be as rude as they like to you if you're not 'suitable' for their agency but as a nanny I find that if they spy money to be made from you they'll treat your nicely. Ditto clients.

I would pay good money to see my profile with various agencies though, just to see what they say/said about me. I went to one interview organised by large London agency and I have NO IDEA where the woman interviewing me got half the things from, so either she was confusing me with another candidate (possible but not likely) or the agency misrepresented me.

The downside is that they're useful buggers.

My last employers gushed about how I was now a very dear friend of the family, my charges still lit up when they talked about me, they would hire me again in a heartbeat

My current employers said my last MB really emphasised how much I devoted myself to the family as a whole, and was always happy and calm and professional no matter how chaotic life was

I think it's great to outline the "professional" aspects of the nanny but also gush about her as a person too, after all being a nanny is not like an office job. There are hearts and personalities involved in the job, and if you and the kids love her, then definitely say this and give reasons in her reference.