Advice about my childminder please?

[daphnebubbles]

Can anyone advise me please? I have a fantastic childminder and have had her for 7 years. My son is now 8 and my daughter 4. She looks after my daughter full time, except for nursery hours, so I pay her full time, 52 weeks of the year.
My son, she has for 6 hours a week term time and I pay her what amounts to £10 her hour for this (I know!). She has him for full days in the holidays BUT he tends to go to friends etc. quite a bit.
Every year since my son has been at school full time I have paid her full pay for holidays and for her holiday. This year, however, my husband has had his hours at work reduced and we are really financially struggling to pay her what amounts to £2,100 for 4 weeks work as she is taking 2 weeks holiday (full time for both kids holiday pay).
She has always been really aggressive when I've tried to question why I need to pay her full time for my son in the holidays even when he's not there...and to be honest, until now we've struggled on and paid her for a quiet life. Do you think I am being unfair if I try to negotiate her fee for my son down for the holidays?
I am really worried about falling out with her over this but I am also worried sick about how the hell I'm going to pay her as we have no reserves left at all anymore.

Your son is age 8, why not find him a local holiday club for him at around £15/20 per day and find him somewhere else to go for the 6 hours. I would give notice, explain why and she may come back with a decent offer.
Loads of childminders, me included do not charge for our holidays,if you can no longer afford it, be honest, ask for a contract review and see if you can change it.
What she charges is up to her, she may be more than others, perhaps its time to look elsewhere, she may be fab, but so are many others.

I think the problem here is that you have been very generous over the 7 years because you could afford to be. Your cm like most people probably would is taking the money for granted and probably relies on it. She is probably worried about the loss of income but that is no excuse for being aggressive

You need to be completely honest with her and explain the change in your financial circumstances and as Danth4th says maybe find a cheaper solution for your son. She may change her mind and charge you less if she sees you are going to move your son but be prepared for her to accept you moving your son and then getting another full time child instead.

The key thing is to keep the conversation calm and professional but to be as open and honest as you can. Aim for a regretful tone
but a firm one. You cannot afford to keep paying as much as you are for your ds bcause of your change in circumstances and will need to find a less expensive solution etc

You need to put aside any resentments you have about her not appreciating the extra you have paid over the years though. I know I would probably feel a bit like this but I also know that the decision to pay over the odds (which in my opinion you have done over the years) was yours. You

I agree with others but just wanted to point out that I wouldn't be able to afford a mindee not paying if they decide not to come because they asre with friends. I do not charge for my holidays though. But, now your son is 8, he isn't included in her ratios so maybe you could have an adhoc arrangement now? £10 per hour for before/after school care is a lot!!

Thank you all for you advice... I agree that I've let things slide a bit by not re-negotiating as and when circumstances have changed over the years but I don't resent her, I just really need to cut costs now and as looneytune says, I've always taken the view that it's not her decision that my son spends days with his friend. His place with her is assured whatever. Think I need to just get on with having an honest conversation really and try to reach a compromise that both of us can cope with financially...

I have an open door policy... where parents can chat to me at any time about anything 9times within reason of course!)... business is business and money is money. Circumstances change and that's something she just has to come to terms with and accept. Good luck with your chat.

You need to give notice and just say you can't afford it anymore (plain and simple).
She (cm)will be upset, but she is running a business and unless she allows you to negotiate a lower rate then she will lose customers.
£10 and hour and paying for HER holidays, that's just ridiculous...sorry

I am a cm and I do not charge for my holidays but charge for parent holidays as the space needs to kept open. I do not release this place to anyone else. I still only charge £3 per hour for before and after schools.
Its not fair to be aggresive towards your parents at the end of the day our parents are like our employers.

Have you considered a nanny for the future assuming your daughter will start school soon as she is 4yrs old and you will only need before/after school and school holidays and dont really want to be paying £10 per hr per child to a childminder.

A nanny would cost you £7-£10 an hr gross for before/after school care and school holidays - you are more likely to get an inexperienced nanny ie - someone with a childcare qualification with a yr or 2 nursery experience looking for first nanny job or a more experienced nanny with own child for the the type of hrs you would be offering.

Like looneytune, I can't afford not to get paid when children are at friends. I don't get paid for my holiday and have negotiated some adhoc contracts for over 8s, because they do not affect my numbers. I do however ask for plenty of notice when they need care, so I can plan outings etc and know how many seats I need in the car. I would personally rather have an 'occasional days' contract than 'no' contract.