Paying parents to childmind

[FluffyDonkey]

Does anyone pay their parents (or other family member) to childmind?

My parents were planning on retiring in a couple of years, which would coincide with when we're planning our first child. They were originally going to move to the country where I live but now with the economic situation they aren't sure they'll be able to.

I then thought that maybe we could pay my parents to childmind for us? We're going to need a fulltime childminder/nanny anyway, so why not my parents?

It's only be for 18 - 24 months, as children can go to school from 2 years old here. My parents are young (58) and at the moment no health problems.

I know we'd have to really sit down and sort out exactly what we're asking from them - when they'd be the childminders, and when they'd be the grandparents seeing their GC. But it'd mean my parents could be in the same country as us which would mean a lot to all of us.

Has anyone else done this? What advice would you give?

BTW - My DH is ok with the idea

well IMO in an ideal world GPs should be left to be GPS, because as carers you have to be careful about talking to them about HOW they care, and lots of threads abound on MN about GPS stuffing Dcs full of crap and whatnot

However, using the GPs in your case would facilitate their move to your country so go for it, BUT with your eyes open

Good luck

Thanks BALD.

As I said it's still up in the air and I tihnk it'll take a lot of planning. But from a very biased point of view I think my parents brought me and my siblings up brilliantly, so I trust them, but I know that when I actually have given birth I may feel a bit more PFB and controlling .

Another thing I have thought of is them getting lonely, in a new country, no friends, just a GC to look after....but they were planning on the move anyway, and weren't even planning to move to our town but nearer to the sea.

Hi its lovely to be able to have family looking after our children.

Being a grandparent is a lot different to being a childminder. Take into consideration that they may do this differently to what you may want them to.

Are you able to speak to your parents about something concerning what they may want to do with your child?

You know your parents better that anyone else.

When may kids go to my mums they are allowed to get pampered more ie treats etc as they do not see her a lot. I would not want them to get so much sweeties etc all the time.

My method of dealing with my kids are a little different to how my parents dealt with me.

I love my mum... We just do things differently.

If you feel this is what you want then do what you feel is best.

Do they want to do it?

I assume the answer is yes but only ask because nothing on earth would persuade me to look after a baby or toddler full time again, not even my own grandchild.

just bear in mind that this will change lots of things to do with your relationship.

i had a friend whose MIL childminded for free because it was a pleasure and didnt want paying. friend ignored all those niggly things that MIL did that she didnt. MIL left FIL and freind/husband felt that they should pay her as it was only fair and her circs had changed. All those little niggles became big niggles. Friend felt that if she moved ds, MIL would be left without funds.

Not suggesting for a minute that your parents will split up but it does kind of sound like they will be at least a little financially dependent on you- how will they feel about that?

on another note:
i am a childminder and my niece goes to the childminders behind my house as when i have her i want to spoil her and have her to myself

i do sometimes have her while i work as at 18mths old she does like to play with the other children

i know your parents would only have your child and from 2yrs old they will have a good mix of children to play with at school but its up to you

my thoughts would be to have with gp for the first year and see how it goes

Hello,

I did this for a while, my mum looked after our daughter for about 9 months when my daughter was very young (between 15-24 months of age) and we all loved it.

And my mum lived with us for that period so not ideal at all, but...we all had a wonderful time. My mum and my daughter had a wonderful time together, I think it was pretty magical for both; my mum seemed ten years younger when she had my daughter around her and my daughter really loved having her granny there all the time. (Plus my mum loves my DH as he can't do wrong in her eyes so he had no complaints!)

I loved the fact that my daughter developed a very close relationship with my mum and they had a fantastic time together.

I personally think that if you can do it, especially as it is for a set time only, you should definitely do it. Grandparents are really important for children in my opinion and if they have a chance to develop even stronger relationship than the one they would have with just regular visits then it is well worth using that chance.

Sorry to ramble on but my experience has been really positive and I strongly recommend it.