My lovely childminder has just lost her dad, what can I do to help?

[indie37]

Obviously I'm not taking children in to her, but how/what can I do? I feel so sorry for her, she's so lovely.

poor lady

When my Dad died I worked the next day and all of the next week, I think I wanted 'normality'

I had a day off for the funeral and then launched straight back into minding

Flowers would be a nice gesture, and follow her lead wrt when she feels able to return to work

you are lovely [heart]

What a fabulous parent you are .

Agree with BALD, maybe flowers and a 'thinking of you' card - and a hug when you take them round.

When my dad died a year ago I carried on working between his death & funeral & then just took off the day for the funeral which was a friday & returned to work on the monday. One of my mindies made me a lovely card (he was 3 then) and is happy to talk about him being in heaven with his Uncle Johnny. I find that more therapeutic than people avoiding talking about it as you know he means what he is saying & it just isn't lip service.

My CM's mum died whilst she had care of both our boys last year. We sent flowers and I offered to still pay her as well. Last thing I wanted was for her to worry about money. But it was only because we had MIL to look after boys and didnt have to pay anyone else. But might be worth a thought if you can do it.

A tree (eg order from M&S, beautiful lavender tree) - then it won't die like flowers do and needs less care

A friend made me a box with biscuits, bottle of wine, couple of magazines, little things like that and a card made by each of her children, which was perfect

You are very kind and considerate to be even thinking of this. when my Dad was taken ill with cancer 3 years ago I didn't take time off in the week to see him because I didn't want to let my families down and he died before i got there on the saturday. I took 2 days off for the funeral & travel and out of 8 families I got one card!

CAH

How about a meal for her freezer and a nice photo frame for her to put a picture of her dad in?

I like the tree idea, she's very into her garden. I'm not lovely at all, it's just human nature isn't it? I feel so sorry for her, they were really close. He had cancer and he deteriorated very quickly. I'm still going to pay her, it's not her fault she can't work. I just hope she's okay.

I love the tree idea... it's a living, breathing gift... and will remind her of her dad forever.

I lost my father 2 yrs ago, took no time off work... only one parent even cared to ask after us/how it went etc. I was deeply saddened by this. People are so caught up in their own lives sometimes. I try and be different.

You are such a lovely parent! Your CM is lucky to have you x

Oh no Indie you are a nice parent, you would be amazed how few parents remember that we have lives outside of caring for their children - last year i happened to fall down the stairs and bruise my back painfully - the 2 parents i had children of that day both asked about their kids before me - i fell down the stairs after taking them to have a nap and probebly would have told you first if your child had fallen too

Good grief dobby, your parents are horrible. My other childminder has a bad back, we're forever discussing it. To be honest I'm very laid back about the children's injuries, I know what they're like and it's always the same thing, hurt knee or banged head. One day it'll be something different and I'll take some notice.
Have ordered tree, it's being delivered tomorrow. Spoke to CM today, she's okay, sounded a bit shell shocked to be honest.

I like the tree idea too and yes you are lovely. its evident from the other postings how little thought some parents have for their cm's grief, only the inconvenience it causes.

My DP died last year and I got HEAPS of flowers... and two live plants. The plants are still going strong and remind me everday of the people who bought them for me. Hopefully she will do the same with your lovely tree .

(And you ARE lovely !)

Do you mean to ask what you can do to help, or when will she be fit to look after your DC? Both are appropriate questions.