Nanny or childminder?

[indiegrrl]

This is totally premature as we are only thinking currently about TTC! - but if we're lucky enough to have a baby one of our issues in the short-medium term will be childcare. I will get generous maternity leave but when I go back to work would need to be away from home 3-4 nights per week in term-time until DP can relocate (could be a few years but we are of an age where we can't leave TTC much longer). DP happy to be primary carer and he and I would work at home one day each per week, with plan being child wld go to lovely local nursery 3 days per week. However, I know we'll need some additional childcare to cover any emergencies (like child being ill at nursery) and also 1 evening per week when DP has to work late, plus possibly childcare one day per week if we decided that was better for child than 3 full days in nursery. Its kind of thing DP's sister arranged with her mum, but we don't live close enough to relatives to ask them to do this. I wondered if anyone can advise on whether we'd be looking at a nanny or a childminder, as this seems to go beyond babysitting and we don't have room for a live-in au pair? Thank you.

So lets say child would be aged 9 months old (is that realistic, or would they be over 1yr?).

would need to be away from home 3-4 nights per week in term-time until DP can relocate

So does that mean you would need childcare Overnight on 3 to 4 nights per week?

Why have you already decided to use a nursery? Using the nursery may be viable... but it may not be if you need someone to works nights (it's not a night nursery is it?).

Some childminders do provide overnight care and may provide that on an ad-hoc basis. They would probably only do that if they knew the child well, so you would need to use them for daytime care as well.

Live-out nanny would probably be willing to work later one evening a week. Could be contracted such that a particular evening (such as every Wednesday) they would not finish work until 11pm or whatever time. However they may not then want an early start the next day... depends on the person.

Please clarify the position regarding nights, as that I think will be hardest to solve.

I'd go with a cm (surprise surprise ). Because... it is more cost effective, especially for just 1 child. Cms are very flexible and are self employed so can be as flexible (or non flexible) as they want. Nannies often have a contract and specific hours and don't like to have things changed around so much - especially if you're only using the nanny part time, the nanny may want to get other work (to earn a living) and wouldn't necessarily be available to you in the event of an emergency. CM may not be available in emergency either, but one thing you'll realize after a while is that you will just have to take some days off work when your dc is ill.
Also, you might want to be with your dc when s/he is ill... I save up all of my personal and sick days for when ds is ill (unless I'm on my death bed, which I haven't been yet, touch wood), and I'm a teacher so there are so many holidays anyway, I feel it's a bit wrong to use those days unless absolutely necessary. DS being ill is an absolute necessity for me. If he just has a cold or is getting over an illness and not contagious and happily playing, I don't mind sending him (neither does cm).

ok, long winded. sorry

I would go for a nanny. If your DP is covering 3/4 days on his own, having a nanny makes homelife easier IMO. You don't have to get child ready to leave in the morning and it saves the drop off time. A nanny will do child's laundry and possibly do extra food. Hours and flexibility can be negogiated as required. IMO, it's easier on the child as they are in their own home for naps etc and in the evening when they are tired. It is more expensive, though as you also have to take into account the cost of food, household utilities, child's activities etc. You have plenty of time to think this through but I would also keep your options open until after your baby arrives as your priorities for your baby may change when you become a parent - I remember asking completely different questions on nursery visits before and after the arrival of DS1!! You can go on the waiting list for a nursery place when you are pregnant and change your mind whenever you wish. A nanny search agency I used recommended around three months (max!) to find a nanny but you could probably find one in about six weeks at a push. One other point, don't under estimate the difficulties of working from home and having responsibility for a child, if it's simply a case of answering a few emails and phone calls, it's possible, but any real work is alot more difficult (impossible?)

Are there nannies who are happy to be employed for just 1/2 days per week and some evenings being quite flexible - not always needing them..etc.? I am looking at it in a weird way I guess but for a cm, s/he can have other mindees to make up for the time and gaps in income, but a nanny would have to sign another contract and find another family who wants them on the exact days this family doesn't and be ok with her needing some evenings, too. I'd just be worried (as a parent employing a nanny) of putting her in a difficult situation... and if we were already covering a few days per week ourselves, I wouldn't want to pay a nanny for full time if she's working part time iyswim.

Thanks. No, we would not need night cover. My DP's hours are generally flexible and so are mine, but I know that there might be the odd day or half day where child taken ill and it takes 3 hours for me to get back for them; if DP's in a meeting and can't be contacted I'd like the back-up of an extra pair of hands to cover a half-day. Similarly if DP got sick one day it might be useful to have back-up if I can't get home for 12 hours or so. We are thinking about nursery because of friends' and neighbours' experiences and advice, plus which the nursery in question has v. good staff who think along same lines as us about various issues. But we'd like the flexibility to rethink that choice if it turned out not to be right for our child. I'm thinking from what you've all said that perhaps a nanny might be best if we could find someone willing to maybe do part-time, as you've made me realise this might help relieve DP of some of the domestic stuff as well.

From what you are saying a childminder would be impractical for the care you require as we cannot take sick children, in the sdame way the nursey wouldn't - it compromises the health of the other children we care for and under current regulatioons we have a legal duty to protect the children we care for from infection.Not to mention protecting our own health.
However, a nanny would want regular contracted hours and enough hours to make it worth their while, unless they could find a compatable nanny share, so this may not be so easy. It may be better for you to look at just the nanny option and ditch the nursery idea.Alternatively, maybe DP would have to keep his mobile on silent and be contactable in an emergency by the nursery and be prepared to leave his meeting if necessary...

IMO you either need a full-time nanny or nursery plus regular babysitter (one of the nursery staff?) to cover the evening and the number of a good temp agency!

or, if you're really mainly looking for backup cover and maybe a bit of domestic help you could consider a childcare student / mothers help? On a few contracted hours of domestic assistance, plus a retainer for 'emergencies', that might work? A relative of mine has a part-time (L2 qualified) mothers help, and this type of small 'cover and babysitting' job would suit her quite well and prop up her earnings nicely, assuming the pre-agreed contracted hours were flexible round existing days. So if you Gum-tree'd it you might find someone ideal. It's the kind of thing you might find by asking round the local baby-groups, as well.
HTH

Thanks, tokengirl, that might work! DP is very flexible - he's an academic and can choose his working hours much of the time - and I think I'm trying to cover more bases than I need just because I feel like I'd be leaving a lot of this to him. What this thread has really brought home to me is that it wld be good to get someone who could combine a bit of domestic assistance with emergency cover, unless we decide for whatever reason that nursery is no-go.