some help please

[actonchildminder]

i had a 3 yr old start tuesday, he has cried since 8 this morning, he wont walk when i take him out, i take his hand to walk and he throws himself on the floor.

i have a baby and my own daughter 2 and half years to watch while out.

what do you suggest i do?

thank you

Sorry I'm not a childminder but wondered if this boy has been in any kind of childcare setting before or if he has been thrown in with you at the "deep end"? Did he have any settling-in sessions? Is it just today he has started crying? Maybe he realises that this is not some new novelty entertainment but that he has to be with you every day.

Can you stay in for the rest of today? Just while he settles in?

Can you put tv on to distract him from the crying and hope it calms him down enough for you to gently start interacting with him by maybe doing a jigsaw puzzle or play with cars or something?

What time have you got him until?

Put him in a buggy and get out for a walk.

i know its not easy but its just taking time for him to settle.

Perhaps engage him in play with your daughter. Find out from his parents what he enjoys doing.

He is perhaps use to having all the attention at home rather than having to share attention with others.

He will settle down eventually.

he started tuesday which he was fine until the afternoon and he cried, and he has cried since 8 this morning and just stopped now.(nearly 7 hoours), I tried everything to get him to stop, I can't put him in the buggy because i have a baby in a pushchair and he walks with his mum, I have just sat him down doing arts and crafts with my daughter that is keeping him quiet for now, he keeps shouting for his mum though

it is really hard for the children at this time,

How old is baby, could you use a sling and put mindee in pushchair, or even borrow a double for a while until things settle a bit.

At least you have found something to distract with, it may be a case of lots of craft stuff for the next few sessions. I usually find this age pretty ok for settling in, they are old enough to understand mummy will be back soon after we have done x,y,z and had tea. Is mindee not used to being seperated from parents?

oh wow what a day, just sat since 6 this morning, Baby is 5 months old, the arts and crafts only lasted 10 minutes, he cried all day took him to the park he cried, he didnt eat all day
i had to hold him when getting my DC from school, my back is killing me now,

how long does it normally take for a 3 year old to settle in? I feel really sorry for the child

Every child is different.

You maybe need to talk to his mum and deceide how long you will have the settling period for.

If this continues you may need to let mum know that he is not settling.

thank you, I will see how today goes. I have given 4 weeks settling in, is that about right?

ok 6 days in and he is still screaming the building down, yesterday was the hardest,

Oh god thats a long time screaming is it still all the time or has it reduced at all? What have parents said - am assuming you have asked them about strategies they use to calm/comfort?

Has he got favourite toys/books/activities? How well does he respond to time markers i.e "so after we eat tea, mummy will be coming" ?

I feel for you so much, i had a girl though a lot younger than 3 who cried on and off for the first 6 weeks, nearly drove me mad and was about to give notice when she just seemed toi settle...

He is 3 though.. I would tell Mum and ask her what she thinks you should do, after all she knows him a lot better than you do.. if she is unwilling to help or brushes it off then then use the settle in period to give notice iyswim.... you will go insane otherwise.. parents have to prepere their children if they are going to leave them in child care, a cm can only do so much and you have your hands full already by the sounds of it.

So much depends on why he is crying, and what sort of crying it is, if you see what I mean. Is it misery/anxiety,is it temper or rage, or even manipulative? Some children react very badly to separation and/or change and will be wretched unless they are either introduced very gradually to a new regime, or constantly distracted so that the new is the norm before they have chance to catch their breath. Others will scream to be the centre of attention or to get their own way, especially if that is what they are accustomed to. At three, he may even be aware to some extent of the impact of his screaming, and have some idea of a purpose to it (possibly to turn back the clock to how things were before). If you can get a better idea of what is going on, you will have a better chance of devising a successful strategy to deal with it, because different causes will demand very different remedies. Good luck!
(and if not, then save your sanity and get rid!)

His mum came to get him early today, his crying is just non stop, if he doesnt cry he is screaming/moaning/whinging. His cry is sooooooooooooooooooo LOUD when I go to school everyone in the playground stares as if to say what is she doing to that poor child,

He stopped for about 10 minutes all day, told his mum if he is still like this in 2 weeks then i cant have him. I asked his mum to give him something of hers that he can keep in his pocket.

How long does it take roughly for a 3 year old to settle in?

Does anybody know of any farms in West London?

What part of West London are you in? There is the Urban Farm in Hounslow.

im in Acton, what tube or buses go there?

Bus: 90, 285, 490, 726
Train: Feltham, 15 minutes walk ,Tube: Hatton Cross (Piccadilly Line), 10 minutes walk

their postcode is TW14 0LZ, put it in the tfl website if your unsure how to get there.

thank you so much

I saw this while researching for toys and I thought you might find it handy for your cryer.

www.tomy.co.uk/DisplayFlash.aspx?id=2769908

It might work.

that looks really good, will get one for mindee, that should help him feel closer to his mum.