CMs - what to ask, what to check

[Longtalljosie]

Hello wise MNers

I'm interviewing childminders this week and next. I'd be grateful for any tips. What should I look out for? Ask? One wants to meet me on a Saturday - entirely fair enough, but is it OK to ask to come back when the children are there before making a final decision? What about references?

Total newbie at this - so any tips very welcome...

That is absolutely fine to ask to go back for a look during a working day - although be prepared the place might be a 'mess', noisy, the minder won't have time to talk etc, so it would be a 'quick' visit iyswim.

Again absolutely to references - however if they are a new minder they may not have any.
The minder may have a portfolio/scrapbook for you to look through. Feel free to ask questions.

What should you be looking for:
someone you feel comfortable with
someone who takes an interest in you and your child

is open and welcoming

homely environment - with a good bank of resources and equipment (again if they are new they many not have loads), ask about routine (ie school runs, when meals/snacks are etc), what activities they do, where do they visit (ie soft play, library, shops, other mindres, children centers etc)

are there any extra charges: meals, outings etc what do you have to provide/what does the minder provide (ie nappies, meals, etc)

what about bank and public holidays

childminder holidays

do they have back up minders or a good network of minder friends who you.she could approach for alternative care if she is off
how many other children does she care for

be clear about the hours and days you want

they should have a list of policies and procedures and talk you through the more important ones such as safeguarding, equal opps, fees and charges, complaints - however they may not bombard you with all this informtation just yet

they should allow you a guided look around the house

how much outdoor play/opportunities and also social opportunites (beware of the minder who is ALWAYS out though - childminding is about home-based childcare meaning being at home some of the time).

pets/other household members

how that minder is going to settle your child in - many offer a few short pre-starting sessions

goes without saying when you find one - you should complete a contract, permissions etc - make sure you read all paperwork before signed and agreeing

many minders will ask for advance payments/deposits be honest if you cannot afford what they are suggesting some are willing to negotiate.

with a minder that is right for you - you should feel at ease with them

Visit several minders until you get a 'feel' for one.

good luck

Wow Pippin - thanks so much for all that - that's incredibly helpful

I think Pippin has covered pretty much everything.

I think it's a good idea to meet at a time when she can concentrate on you but I would ask if you can go back at another time and see her in action as a childminder.

I would also be looking for somebody who is interested in you and your child, your routines, your wishes and how you feel your child should be settled into their setting.

You could print off Pippins list and take it with you to prompt you. You probably won't cover everything in the first meeting but make sure you've covered it all before your child starts.

I think that the one most important thing is how well the childminder relates to your child.
Does she welcome your child in too or just you?
Does she ask what your child would like to do or make assumptions?
If you child is a baby does she make eye contact with him/her, show an interest, comment on what he/she does well?

As Pippin says your gut feeling is a really good gauge - listen to it.

oh forgot to add (doh) - ask to see her registration certificate, insurance certificate (public liability), a copy of her inspection report (again if she is new she may not have had a first inspection yet), and any other training certificates to see what training she has attended (again this is very personal to the minder some do lots of training others don't).

Thanks both - wish me luck!

You won't need it LongTall - as Al1son says - trust you gut instinct and go with that minder.

(However, good luck) do come back and let us know if you find someone/experiences etc.

Remember, the best minder may not necessarily have the tidest, organised house or cheapest/most expensive rates. The best minder is the one that you and your child connect with

OK - I've seen one childminder and am seeing another on Saturday morning. I'm a bit sorry I'm not seeing that one in the week while they're doing their thing, but that's what they've said.

The first one was lovely. One thing though - we have to take all meals in because apparently there are special certificates they need to prepare food on the premises. Is this common? Given it's going to be quite a long day, that's quite a faff...

Longtall Cm have to register with the local environmental office as a food provider and show they know about food safety. Some local councils inspect but many do not and they like it if cm do a food safety course. Nothing odious just more paperwork and some cm have decided to opt out by getting parents to provide food. One downside with doing that is that you have to prove to ofsted that you are encouraging good eating habits and parents do not always want to provide what ofsted see as healthy food.

Sorry -just to confirm - I would have to prove I supply healthy food to Ofsted?

ah Josie, the CM has to have a healthy eating healthy living type policy

Stomp was referring to herself as a CM in her post

how is the search going ?

Yes, sorry the 'you' was me as a cm

Ah sorry, sleep deprived and therefore slightly dim!

Well, I really liked the first one we've found, she's lovely - but she wants an answer immediately. There are other potential mindees in the picture - two of them but shorter hours. She'd rather us, but needs to know by Saturday at the latest.

We're seeing another Sat am, but it's stressing me out because the first CM is nice but I don't want to be rushed. I always thought I'd go and see three CMs at least before deciding

ah a popular minder is always Good News

fingers crossed that you find someone

Ugh all is horrid at the moment.

After interviewing lovely CM, MIL emailed saying she'd like to have DD for one of the days. Lovely CM had already said that two days was her minimum as she didn't think it was possible to bond with a child on one day a week.

Saw other CM on Saturday and it didn't work for me.

Agonised about losing lovely CM but decided that DD and MIL would both benefit from spending time together. Rang lovely CM and said I'd love her, but it would be one day a week. Lovely CM said no, as expected.

Other CM was told no and didn't take no for an answer - kept emailing me to ask precisely why it was we didn't want her - v stressful. She said it was so she could improve, which is fair enough, but it was an exchange of about four emails and I really felt a bit hectored by the end.

To top it all off, when we rang MIL before saying no to lovely CM, just to check she was really up for this, she uttered the immortal words "I just can't bear the thought of DGD being left with a stranger".

So now I feel shitty. Cross and guilt-tripped, and shitty, and wishing it hadn't happened at all, so I could just have gone with nice CM and have got it all sorted. Now I have one day sorted, but for the other I still have to find a CM prepared to do just one 12 hour day - and am worried by what nice CM said about one day not being enough to bond, and am wondering if this is all the best thing for DD after all (head explodes).

Sounds like you are having a strssful time. Is it possible to see if the first CM is still available for the 2 days you originally wanted? Then you could ask MIL to have DD for a special day each week, that would give you some child-free time and give your DD some quality time with MIL. MILs are not always the most reliable when it comes to childcare, but it's good to have a back-up.

Sorry to hear about all your hassles!!!

(1) Many CMs think nothing of contracting a child for 1 day a week... I have done this and it's worked out very well Each CM runs her/his business in their own way though... it's a shame she won't have your lil one.

(2) Your mum needs to realiae that teachers/CMs etc. all start out as strangers at first... but we become a part of the family soon enough .. ;) We are professionals and for many of us, this is FAR more than a job. The bond we have with our mindees is second-to-none.

(3) The second CM was out of order in my view... she sounds desperate and maybe hasn't been CMing long? I find her emails unprofessional and unnecessary. I hope you don't hear from her again.

(4) I like purple's idea! Could this work for you?

Don't feel guilty... this is your daughter and she is your chief concern, try not to let pressures from family members get to you (hard I know!). Go and see some more CMs. One of my clients told me she saw 20 (TWENTY!!!LOL... Maybe 4 or 5 is the norm?) CMs before seeing me.. and she wanted to sign up straight away... gut feel is very important. For you and the CM. Good luck x

Hi Jenni

Thanks for that. (1) is very reassuring. I made the same point to MIL in (2), but I don't think she's convinced...

On (4) - it's a nice idea, but I imagine MIL will be very unhappy if I was to suggest cutting down the time I spend with DD further. She's doing it because she wants to cut down the time DD spends with a CM. She's really very unhappy that I'm going back to work.

Am back on the hunt...

'She's really very unhappy that I'm going back to work.'

She's brought up her kids, she should let you bring up yours. You going back to work has nothing to do with her or her feelings and emotions. This is about you and your other half and your child.

When your little one goes to a CM you will have enough of your own feelings to deal with (mums often deal with loads of guilt at leaving DC elsewhere at first/feeling inadequate being in the workforce again etc.), and your little one's too.

I hope you find the right CM very soon, good luck

My MIL pulled that one on me and insisted on having DS instead of us using childcare.
Then she couldn't cope and kept going sick and arranging holidays at a moments notice.

If you do decide to try your MIL, make absolutely sure she realises what it entails. She has to be reliable and can't just disappear when she feels like it. If you have any suspicions that she may let you down, then don't do it - it'll cause a load of resentment and hassle otherwise.

Can I also suggest that you visit any nursery or childminder at least twice, just to be sure you're making the right choice? I can understand why your lovely CM would want a minimum of 2 days. A lot of nurseries and childminders feel this way.

Subtly find out what their thoughts are on sick leave... its important they are very very reliable and if theyre off sick ever 5 minutes it wont work.

Always ask if there are parents you can call for a referal that'll give you a better idea than any ofsted report.