Mothers help - am I asking too much of her?

[fatigued]

We have had a MH start with us this week. She is young (still at college), but seemed keen at interview to have the job as she wants to work with children post college.

I've so far asked her to do a different chore each day e.g. one day I asked her to hoover and mop kitchen and dining room, another day I asked her to hoover the playroom and sitting room and dust the surfaces. In addition to this she needs to cook dd's supper (always simple) and feed dd, and also keep an eye on the dc whilst I go and put the washing on etc. She only works a few hours after school each day.

So yesterday, when I'd asked her to hoover and dust the sitting room, I checked the surfaces (as I could smell no polish had been used), and they're still dusty . I asked her specifically whether she'd dusted the surfaces and she said yes - she'd done all of the shelves, around the telly etc. I feel a little uncomfortable that she may be lying - but I can't be sure - however am I asking her to do too much? I really don't think that I am. I don't expect her to clean up after dh and me - only to keep the areas that the children use hoovered, mopped and dusted.

I'm not too sure what to do now - I'm starting to think that our money would be better spent on a good cleaner.................

Does you Mother's help get much time to spend with your DD?

Do you want a MH or a cleaner?

Teeneaged girls aren't the most fabulous clearners in the world. She probably doesn't have any practice and you need to show her how to dust (dampen the cloth slightly to pick up the dust instead of flick it around, wipe the surface lifting up any ornaments etc).

At this stage she's probably better playing with your DC, cooking a bit and tidying up toys which might be what you want to be doing but TBH it's probably why she took the job - experience with children. What's the point of having her from your POV?

MH's will muck in with what needs doing but it sounds at the moment as though you're getting her in and just having her cook, clean and tidy.

I think you need to have a good think about what you do want her to do, come back and tell the MN jury who will give you their considered opinion and help you draw up a list of things you can reasonably expect her to do.

You said it in the first para of your post ; She wants to work with children.

My teenaged daughter never lifted a duster in her life (shame on me) but give her a small child to look after and she is amazing...especially with nappies.

Get yourself a cleaner :-)

I think you need to go through each chore with her the first time, and show her exactly how you want it done. Assume she has never dusted or hoovered before in her life.

not asking too much to do one chore a day but she obv doesnt do it the way you like so show her

but yes does sounds like you would be better off hiring a cleaner tbh as thats what it sounds like you want

housework rather than childcare

How much do you pay her?

I have a cleaner (once a week) and a mothers help (2-3 times a week) because I've never found any one individual who can do both aspects of the job well (have tried a part-time housekeeper/nanny, and an au pair in the past).

Every new thing I need my mothers help to do, such as hanging out a load of laundry, or putting away clean childrens clothing, or loading the dishwasher, I show her how to do first. She's 18 and just doesn't do it properly otherwise.

Saying that, she's endlessly patient at playing looooong games of monopoly with my older DC (my idea of hell), and thinking of imaginative ways to keep them all playing in the garden while I make supper.

I used to be a nanny and went to college for 2 years to study, and learn how to be a good one, it does sound to me as though you expect her to be doing a lot of cleaning you dont really mention any childcare that she does for you, however what your MH has to realise is that at the moment you dont know her well enough to just leave her incharge of your child, therefore, you need to perhaps have a little diary of the week, write down her chores, and incorperate a little more childcare each week, when she has gained a little more experience with your family, and has observed how you do things, you ought to do cleaning alongside her, so she can see how you like things done, but you should also let her go out for walks with your child, and prepare lunch etc, otherwise she will feel like a skivvy, you need to get the balance right, and make sure you tell how when she is doing well, childcare can often make you feel downtrodden and undervalued. good luck.

Personally I wouldn't expect a mother's help to be doing any dusting or mopping, esp if they are only there for a few hours. It sounds like that's not really what she signed up for and might be too shy to tell you.

Like the others said, it sounds like you are better off with a cleaner IMO...and then maybe a mother's help for less time.

I do think you are asking quite a lot from her as you obviously didnt tell her about all the house work! you say she wants to work with children post college so why are you making her do soo much house work i currently work as a nanny and i do light house work that is around the children and the children only e.g tidying up toys, washing childrens clothes and cooking for the children. make her do activities with the children such as playing and reading so to occupy them whilst you do your own cleaning!
(and its not because shes a teenager that she doesnt like housework i am 19 and happy to housework its because she obviously feels likes shes getting used as a cleaner!)

I don't think it's unreasonable to ask a mother's help to do a mix of housework and childcare - and one chore a day doesn't sound like that much. So long as she gets some time playing with the children too it's fine.